心声, 故事

Mrs Graetz

2007-11-02T20:44:00.000+08:00

To My Dear Mrs Graetz:

Mrs Graetz has been teaching me Biology for the past 2 years. From the first lesson, i could tell that she's somebody who has deep knowledge and think, do things in depth.
Over the past two years, she never fail to impress me with her wide scope of knowledge ranging from Biology, human anatomy to factors relavant to life. A respectable point about her is that she doesn't keep any knowledge for herself, and share what she knows to her students in order to really teach and make sure everyone learns.
However, it is very unfair to her that most of the Bio students in my class discriminates her just because of minor issues, and some misunderstandings. This shows how shallow some of them are, to actually capitulate to their ego, and see things only from their point of view. They've failed to take a step back and be judgemental without prejudices. However, the irony of the whole situation lies with the magnamity of Mrs Graetz being forgiving by not being biased to the students. This can be seen whenever she gives us her "self-grown" bananas; which were distributed among us fairly, without any tinge of unfairness.

Today, i sat for the GCE O lvl Science Biology paper. A catastrophe struck me real hard. Over the past 2 years, i've been doing questions which ask you in-depth knowledge and applications. But what came out was questions which are simply primitive and only test on basics. Whereby i made alot of careless mistakes.
I went to look for Mrs Graetz after my exams. She had smiles all over her face when most of the 5Ns found it easy. I told her how i honestly felt about it. But she wasn't at all disappointed. Words of encouragement poured out to console me. I feel really very touched by what she has done, her teachings, her compassion.

She's linked me and made me appreciate the wonders of nature.
She's the FIRST school teacher to make me feel this way, and i really want to say that she IS a successful teacher who has made an impact in my life.

WO KE YI

2007-10-28T10:51:00.000+08:00

I can.
I can do it. Yea, studying hard, though slacking
Ironic because it is

Slack in the morning and give it all out in the day till night
Walks all the way home from Novena as i haven't been exercising.
Yea, WO KE YI

I can i can i can

ENglish paper is tmr, Followed by maths paper 1. Maths paper 2 on tues and sciences on thurs and fri. Following mon and tues shall be poa, Literature and SS.
I fear i may not do well for SS. My lit is generally quite alrighht alr. Well, glad that i'm prepared for maths. It's all about practice and practice.

I went to consult my bio teacher ytd and she told me alot of new aspects which cambridge expects of my batch now. Since it's the last batch which is gg to take O lvl under cambridge, they seem to have higher expectations and hide the way they gg to mark it thus pulling most ppl's marks down. My bio teacher was good enough to tell me, well, partyl because i botehr to go look for her for consultation. It's a fact that she doesn't teach everything in class, and i learn most of th facts about bio from her after curriculum hours.

It's not easy to work all the way up to this stage from a person who fails in studies. The arduousity requires alot of peseverance, focus and concentration. But everything revolves around our aims, our ambitions.
SOme of my friends have got no motivation to work at all because they do not know where they wanna go. Not their fault but, well, it's time to get serious and start thinking about your future. Although you may not make use of the things you learn in tertiary life, but at least it is better to graduate with a diploma as a "safety net" just in case you can't get to study what you want. Speculating, if you don't even have a proper diploma or rather, i gd O lvl cert you'll be worse than graduates who are unemployed.
Planning is important.

Compared to being somebody with no qualification/s , you totally lose out in this society.
Well, it's just so practical and straightforward. We can't relent this fact unless our parents have loads of money and is willing to splurge the money for us to do what we want, then no problem. Too bad, we live in a competitive country like Singapore.

ok, gg to study...bb

Dreams

2007-10-11T10:29:00.000+08:00

Standing among 1000 students in the hall, i began contemplating each one's ambitions and dreams. Every single soul in this gigantic room hold yearns of being somebody influencial in society, and aims to achieve remarkable goals in life. These goals and ambitions range from being a doctor who cure the most detrimental illnesses, to being an entreprenuer who strives up high and bring the country's economy to greater heights. Thus, this creates competitiveness among everyone, and emulation is common.

However, there are differences between ambition and dreams. An ambition is achievable through pragmatic sacrifices like hard work and dedication. Most of the time, pains will come in as part of our steps to attain what we want, and fulfill our ambition. Thus, when factors fall out of the perimeters of hard work and dedication is needed to attain a certain goal, that goal becomes a dream.

Dreams are unrealistic and idealistic. Many people barricade themselves too deeply in dreams that they cannot accept what is going on in society. A person dreams also because he or she so badly wants to become like somebody else, and thus contemplate illogically on how to transform himself into their idol. This is commonly seen among teens who go crazy over idolising their favourite boy bands. They admire the performers on stage and feel the urge to do the same. Thus, there're some teenagers who dreams of being a popular celebrity and thus, give up on their studies and pursue their dreams by joining Singing competitions, hoping that they'll be discovered by a media company and brought to fame without much hard work. Thus, having a dream to come true is much based on none other than mere luck.

Other reasons why people succumb to dreams is because of laziness. Taking the dream of stardom as an example, unmindful teenagers simply feel that it is arduous to achieve good grades in school and think that being a star is simple because the amount of revenue earned comes by half the conviction but twice the finesse. They have the impression that stars will just have to articulate a couple of songs and thus, able to earn the money from tickets and royalties of their song albums.

Relating this to our lives, we are aware of what we want in life and what to strive for. But, have we catogorised them and see if they are idealistic dreams or realistic ambition. If our goals are achievable through pragmatic hard work and dedication, then most probably we will do our best to achieve it. But, if anyone realises that he holds onto a dream, he has got to be very sure that lady luck is always helping him if not, it is time to wake up, stop dreaming and get started on practical goals.

time flies

2007-10-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

Well well

Time really flies.
Louis and i were discussing about the fun times we had in Sec 1. That's the only honey-moon year we had. After that, complications, arguements, disagreements arises. A cliche i know. Though i procrastinate about school very often, i still can't bear to leave bcos of some reasons. WEll, friends who've helped me and made an impact in my life. Nice people whom i knwo and lived with for the past 4 years. Why cogitate so much? All things must come to an end, won't they? I must learn how to accept things and stop living in the past.
Especially love, whereby i have to be more realistic and not hold onto the idealistic want of having him as my BF. Of course, i wouldn't wanna repeat my 4 years here. I've gone through hard times, good times. More hard times i must say, but although i hate the hard times, upon deeper thinking, i actually grew to know about the bad side of human beings through these experiences.

Yes, i am somebody who explore and think more than normal people does. That's the reason why i get Emo easily because i think too much; negatively.. Recently i've learnt to be more realistic in love. Or rather, i've lost confidence in myself towards love. On Saturday night, i came home with a heavy heart. Thinking of him. And wanting to just simply fking dump him off my life. I cried the whole night about this and well, i dunno if i've gotten over it. Yes, i'm getting carried away., Bcos i can't focus on typing and am crying now. But for one thing i know, i've already set my mind to hate him. He's a bitch. A hypocrite. An imbecile. Vindictive bastard.
I don't even wanna talk to him anymore. He wants me to fuck off, fine, i fuck off his life ( mentally) But i will not stop sanshou at bishan. We'll just train and that's it. No further than that.

Alright, bed time...

What

2007-10-07T12:23:00.000+08:00

Here's the verdict:

Prelims Result O lvl target

English - B3 English - A1
Chinese - B3 Chinese - B3
Combined Science - B3 Combined science - A2
Combined Humans - D7 Combined Humans - B3
FNN - B4 FNN - B4
Maths - C5 Maths - B3
POA - AB POA - AB

L1R4 = 16 (after deduction of CCA points)

As you can see, i'm still a little distant away from my target. Another 5 grades in total to be able to reach my target and get into my ideal course. I'm seriously working my head off these days, trying very hard to emulate my past debilities and failures. I felt a little discouraged until my friend Anson, said to me " KR, Stop Living In The Past" Yea, how true.
We really should stop living in the past, and carry on being consistant, improve ourselves and achieve the indominatable sense of satisfaction.
I always bitch about my sucky sch. So many teachers simply do not have passion to help. I can't depend on them, so i depend on myself. Many of them think that i can't make it in life just because of my ego and stubborn character. Yes, i am stubborn. I am egoistic. But at least i confront my life, i confront everyone with the upmost truth and i hide nothing. It is not an ideal. I feel comfortable being transparent and opened. I have nth to hide and i fear not of what others have to say. God is always by my side, and will punish those who harms me. Incorrigible people shall burn in the depth of burning sulphur in hell, and suffer excruciatingly from the great pain.

ABOUT HIM:
Saw him yesterday. He is so egoistic. Why get so serious even during training? Have you got no care and compassion? Yes, i understand you are ambitious and do not want to lose out. But, how about thinking about being more considerate rather than capitulating to your ego?
These days, you make me dislike you. I hate to admit this but it is very true. Many times you bitch so badly about me behind my back to others but, when i see you, there's always guilt behind the way you greet me when we meet up. So what if i viewed your friendster? Yes i did. I decided not to add u because i seldom use it. You have simply no consideration and absolutely self-centered. Selfish people like you will end up with no friends but enemies. I hate to admt this but i really can't afford to like you anymore

Like what i said, i do not wanna hide in denial and surppress my spontaeneity. I don't see the need to go that extra mile of lying to others and lying to myself about how i feel about you.
I can't let love blind me from seeing your true colours of an unscrupulous and scheming fellow. How hard is it to let go of someone you really love. How hard is it to really face the fact to hate him bcos of his detrimentality. I do not want love to land me in jeopardy. I discussed this with a close friend of mine last night and yes, the conclusion is the best decision is to let you go, and hence, i no longer hold yearns of any towards you. Goodbye my love, goodbye my igauna, goodbye the trecherous, goodbye the detrimentals.

The Field Mouse

2007-10-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

Field mouse. In the impression of people, field mice are catogorised as pest because of what they do. No doubt they hurt farmer's crops, inflict diseases etc. Personally, i do not like field mice. Or rather, i used to hate them and kill them if i see them in my midst of planting crops back in my mother's hometown. Being a little comprehensive, field mice are actually very proned and vulnerable to danger because of their spontaeneity to hunt for food as a herbivour.
In contrast to our lives, we see many notorious and obnoxious people around us. Very often, we tend to feel offended when they irritate us. Well, the reason why we feel irritated is because perhaps, a clash of personalities. However, have we got the maturity and patience to take a step back and look and say, HEY, why is that person behaving this way? Is it really for the sake of being notorious and obnoxious or is it for the sole and simple reason that it's just a clash of personalities? Just like field mice; although they are destructors and irritants in our point of view, that's only a superficial point. Upon deeper inference, the reason why field mice hurt our crops is for the sake of survival, right? So in other words, they are superficailly irritants but deep inside, it's for the sake of survival and i pity their innocence more than hating them now.

In a more serious note, i would like to highlight that there are exceptional cases of people whereby they sought solace in adverse schemes just to get their goals . Well, i can't much agree that they are innocent because they only want to acquire their goals. Contemplating, the only survival way of field mice is for them to feed on crops. If there are other way out, why would field mice jeopardise its life? Back to human beings, in certain cases, people carry out unscrupulously, which means there're alternatives but some people are just too lazy to attain their goals from the arduous but genuine way. Since one do not have the determination to work hard, isn't it a calling for that person to digress and drop out this goal?

Alien Or Robots

2007-09-30T12:53:00.000+08:00

Borned in a world of competitions, fightings, politics, we are inevitably catogorised into 2 sections as a human being; a robot or an alien.
Personifying the two sections, they are true forms of human beings that exist on mother earth.
A robot is somebody who adheres closely to rules and regulations and barricade themselves off imaginations and "thinking outta box". These people fears to be in a state of trepidation and experimentation but, are good followers.
Whearas an alien, is an abstract worker who needs rules and regulations to be bended in order to work efficiently and productively. These people usually think out of the box, conspicuous in groups because of their alberation.

I am an Alien, which means i'm a rule breaker. I'll feel constrained and petrified when i have to follow rules closely.

Ask yourself, are you a Robot or an Alien?

Gambling:
The world changes rapidly in order to accomodate itself to the society and trend. Positively or negatively, changes in places are often in great significance and of high frequency. Contemplating, positive changes includes new housing policies, improved educational sponsorship etc. Whearas negative changes includes a wide range of spectrum like rise in GST(government service tax) , deduction of pay due to economy downturn, increase of security systems to reduce pecarious events from occuring etc. Out of all these, it is rather obvious that negative changes always take citizens in a country a long time to be able to swallow it down their guts, and as a result, it always arise controversies, debates and arguements between the government and the citizens.
Comprehensively, we are actually debating on changes which take place all the time. This is something which not everyone adores but the fact is, changes around us GAMBLE with our future and present.

In the literal terms, gambling means betting your money on something in return of a higher revenue a few times higher than your betting principal. With regards of gambling our future, we are doing something like legalising gambling dens. The money spent on grooming the gambling industry is no doubt a bombastic and commendable fund. Needless to say, the people with the effort behind the building of this industry works with half the finesse but twice the conviction. The fact is that, we are gambling the precious money used to invest in something which may most likely be catastrophic in the long run and thus, the price to pay in order to remunerate the consequence is of a significant sum.

Despite the understanding fact that Singapore strives high always and doesn't block itself by setting an optimum, some actions are inexorably prone to undesirables. For one thing, the government is good in a way that they do not push responsibilities but always make sure that they take very good care of the citizens.
Not wanting to digress, we have to be contemplative about actions that we do and what we gamble in life. Cogitation is extremely important because our decisions not only lies in ourselves but involves others as well. Is gambling certain things worthwhile? Was our initial plan directed to set up this strategy to improve economic growth in the long run? If so, how to alleviate further and future loses then? Another common controversy to talk about.

Well well, i shouldn't exagerrate my satirisation too extravagantly to deter being sued for slander.

gayism?

2007-09-25T12:48:00.000+08:00

Gayism. As this word resounds in your head, most of you may recall how some of your friends being thrown with insults such as "U stupid gay!" .

As we all know, Singapore has yet to legalise gayism. Thus, this has aroused many unhappiness among the gay circle, and even people who are heterosexual has been discussing this controversial issue. I shouldn't find it sad that the government is criminalising gayism, but instead i find it unpragmatic and contradictory.

As a male homosexual, i've accepted myself over the past few years. It is not easy to accept the realisation that you have actually got no sexual affection towards the opposite sex party. Personally, i seeked solace in denial but was slapped back by multiple rejections and once, i thought i've alleviated my homosexual self, but how wrong was I? After being ditched by that girl, i formed a bad impression of females, and worse, had my interest for female being totally ripped off like how i was ditched. THen, i began to accept that guys are the people whom i natually seek and admire, and guys are my innate ideal.
Honestly, if you'd ask me if i prefered to be an ASEXUAL(somebody who has got no sexual affection towards any sex), i would say no. I need love and protection. For friends who know me closer, i'm a team player only if i think the leader is better than me. If not, i'd always aim to be a leader myself. But at times i would want love and warmth. This is something which i've lacked of and i am sure, many people out there share the similar sentiments here too.
But bear one thing in mind readers, DO NOT disclose your sexual oreintation to any of your family members especially your parents. I know of a gay couple personally, and the bottom faced a major catastrophe when his parents found out about his sexual oreintation when they came across their blog. His parents basically splurged a bomb to "save" him out of gayism by simply sweeping all books on homosexuality in bookstores indiscriminately, sent him for counselling, forbidded his freedom and kept him from contacting other guys. Isn't it ridiculous to mash an adolescent up so badly? At this age, freedom and pride plays an important role in our teenage life doesn' it?

Next, regarding what the government has done, i felt its controversy in between.
Let's look from a more general point of view; discrimination.
IN some countries racial discrimination still exist because individual races just keep to themselves which leads to a congregation and segregation. They then adheres to different believes and make friends with people of their own race. However, Singapore successfully prevented this from happening by encouraging racial harmony. Therefore, we don't really see any form of discrimination in schools, or at work. Despite the other's skin colour , Singapore has always been seen as a multi-racial society because of racial and religious acceptance.
However, using the same concept we'll see how flaws has been caused by discrimination of gayism in Singapore. I've gone through the stage whereby people hurl abuse at me in school and BOO at me after their subsequent knowledge of my sexual oreintation. Isn't this bullying? Yes, i was being bullied multiple times but i did not blame them because i know it's a matter of mindset. Those who've accepted me, i must say that it is good to have a mind of your own and not being manipulated by society easily. For those who have not accepted this, i don't blame them because it's a matter of manipulation since young , adhering to the fact that gayism is debaucherous and trecherous. This is the main irony and controversy which i see with what the government has done. They want to bring down bullying in schs and yet, they are going to continue criminalising gayism which will cause more bullying...

well well

2007-09-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

So
Here's the verdict.
E-Maths i got C5...
damn
Paper one was easy. Paper 2, seriously it wasn't that tough but, how should i put it..

Well, on thursday it's Literature and maths paper 2. For literature, i really put in all my best and worked at my optimum...It's the first time i was able to work well for literature. Therefore, i was simply plagued with fatigued after this paper. Then, i didn't have the mood and mental strengh to work on paper 2 anymore, I was so tired. My mind simply went blank when i saw the questions. What ever i wrote on the answer paper was nothing but pure rubbish. I didn't even know what i was writing. The undesirable tiredness overwhelmed the hard work which i've put in for months.
However, looking at it positively, i've at least obtained a PASS? wow...Well, it's not sth miraculous because i've worked for it. Every sweat and every second, reflected upon me. Not just my efforts, but also the person who spends every saturday morning teaching me without revenue, our dear MS TOH...haha....
Anyway, biology paper was damn easy. Easy for me bcos i realli studied for it.

Now, i feel more confident of scoring better marks. Therefore, i'm aiming for an A2 for combined sciences, B3 for combined humanities. English A1, maths B3, Chinese i've got B3...So that'll be a 12 for L1R4. Deduct 2 points of cca , it'll be 10 and hence, MASS COMM MASS COMM HERE I COME!!!!

SOmething here i'd like to share, if you believe it, you'll get it...Realli, a cliche slogan which i've finally made use of ...

Fairness? Pragmatism? My Arse

2007-09-19T15:02:00.000+08:00

It is absolutely a contradictory action to criminalise gayism.

Fairness and pragmatism are 2 factors of Good Governance. Fairness means opening up oppotunities to all without upholding any form of discrimination. And over here, criminalisation of gayism has been actively been under intense discussions which brought about unhappiness within gay men solely because this law simply pose unfairness to gay men.The criminalisation of gayism has obviously discouraged many gay men in the entertainment industry from expending and migrating to Singapore, and that explains why the entertainment industry in the west is much better than Singapore's.

I really wonder if this is how the Singapore government carry out PRAGMATISM, whereby criminalising gayism has caused social unrest and lack of advancement in the entertainment business.

I feel badly insulted when anal and oral sex was catogorised as " acts of gross indecency between two men" From what i know of, physical contact btw 2 human beings to satisfy one's sexual demands is a sacred and enjoyable thing to engage in. It is also a natural progression in any form of relationship, be it among homosexuality or heterosexuality.Therefore, no human being has got the right to change this natural fact.

The above was what i posted up on a website, discussing the latest issue on criminalising gayism.
I just feel that it is damn fking absurd for the government to implement such bills.

What pragmatism? Criminalisation of gayism is not a pragmatic step. Criminalisation of gayism will discourage many influential and capable men all over the world to work with Singapore as they'll be viewed as ppl who engage in "acts of gross indecency" . So many arguements and debates among GLBT(gay lesbians bisexuals transexuals)s that such an action simply implements unfairness towards a person's sexuality, and segragates a person upon his innate sexual oreintation.

The minister mentor claimed that the reason why the government doesn't wanna accept gayism because he speculates gay people to want more in time to come. Such as proposal to waive off the need to serve NS. Well, over here, there is a reason for the government not to accept such proposal likes waiving off NS for gay men because it jeopardises the defence of the country. However, what has the majority got to lose when gayism is lawfully accepted?

Some would say, it'll spread HIV. But please, gay men may be horny, but non of them want to contract HIV or spread HIV. This agains shows that the law is indicating tt gay ppl are bemused and not able to think properly and only want sex. If the law takes HIV as an excuse to criminalise gay sex, then what about prostitution?

Prostitution is not being discriminated nor looked upon with disdain by the law nowadays because they believe that prostitution is the only way out for prostitutes to alleviate their financial problems. However, prostitution is NOT the only way. There're many alternatives, and prostitution is just the easier way for them to seek help in.
So, what's the problem of legalising gayism in Singapore?

Arduous

2007-09-16T10:10:00.000+08:00

It is arduous to comprehend some human beings. This minute they seem loyal to you, and you go on a moment of gallivanting with them, the next day they may just turn their backs on you, put words in your mouth, betray the trust you have on them just to obtain things of their favour.

These people simply lie their way through, think that they have high intellectual levels. But the bitter fact is that they're just simply betray the trust which others have on them heartlessly. How could you? How could you put words in your benefactor's mouth? How could you? How could you think that you possess high intellectual abilities when guilt doesn't haunt your betrayal towards people who actually helped you to alleviate your past debilities; especially that important person whom you pledge loyalty and indominatable gratitute towards?

Despite the fact that you've seen with your own eyes how those betrayals get into the bad books of the similar benefactor, why have you done such a foolish thing? Do you think you're in control of the whole situation? Assuming that your gullible strategies work to get what you want out of slip-shopping and the unrightful way? I can't help but laugh at this kinda stupidity. I can't help but feel disappointed with your heartlessness. I can't help but hate your hypocrisy. I can't stop help but closely adhere to the fact that you're a hypocrite and ingrate, WHICH simply do not deserve kindness and sympathy of others.

This shall be your end. The end of your idealistic dreams.

Now

2007-09-11T19:19:00.000+08:00

Well
O lvls are approaching. Prelims are just 2 days away and i've been studying without having my self-discipline robbed off miraculously.
These days, i've been pondering on how i've changed. Yes, i've seriously changed alot.

I've become so much more critical due to the habit developed from doing literature whereby i hv to critisize situations and stuffs.
I've become so much more disciplined that i am able to control my temptations to go online msn for chats and surf the internet which doesn't provide me any help in the pursue of my studies.
I've finally obtained a pass in my maths and i must really say it's a tremendous improvement. Not forgetting Ms Toh who've been constantly encouraging me and Ms Ho, reminding me of my priorities.

I don't fear of not doing well. Altough my standard of results have not reached the culminating point, i know i'm able to achieve the results and get into where i wanna go to. I know what i want, and i'm working towards it. If i choose to be lazy, it's just going to land me into years of regret and procrastinating. If i choose to remain conscientious or rather, pull up my socks even more, i can pass my O lvls with desirable flying colours. I am very delighted to see Ms Ho saying in my student's remark as : ''....he's shown capabilities to obtain good results....''
Undeniably, i'm quite stressed up because of the high goals which i have set for myself. However, i do not want to just slack behind and do nothing in my life. God has made me an aspiring person, and i want to work towards my aspirations successfully. I do not have the honour and fotune to be borned in a rich family whereby my family can afford to send me overseas to study. So i'l have to adhere to local educational routine in order to bring myself to greater heights and success.
There're somethings which we have to do although we hate it. This is how the world goes. I may not be a person who adore studying that much, but i'm willing to put in the effort to excel given my goals and aspirations. O lvls is just a stepping stone.

Hatreds

2007-09-06T18:37:00.000+08:00

I Hate Life, I Hate This Society, I Hate Human Beings...

Society
It takes a fetish to embellish one's portfolio in order to excel in the highly prolific Singapore. In this society, we adhere to meritocracy in order for the government to carry out fairness. The very basic part of meritocracy lies in non other than education. Pre-tertiary education in Singapore is often described as harsh, constantly changing, monotonous and filled with other negative criticisms. It's just a pity that many school students do not excel productively because such educational systems simply don't click with them. Perhaps you may think, ''why must education system be created to click with student? and not student finding ways to click with education?'' Well, the answer is : Students are students because they've yet matured to be able to be flexible in accomodating by linking their lives to the surroundings. So all the more youths must not be barricaded from expressing their thoughts, developing creativities while pursuing pre-tertiary education certificates like O lvls; where in this case, prepatory of Olvls is such a case.

Therefore, after 10 years of caging up, following monotonous and uncreative studying, lame ethnic which most school preaches, many students lack of originality and a mind of their own. That explains why Singapore is so backwards in artistic efficiency.

Human Beings
People are people, so why hurt each other so?
There're no hidden implications of the above sentence. Just that after an incident which happened to me, i felt that the cruelty of human beings are getting bad to worse.
In life, ppl make use of each other. However, if one has got no intention to reach out for the other party who's in need of help, why must that person exhibit superficial care by putting on a facade in order to lie to the person in need of help, and create a dramatic scene just to get superiority?

I've been a victim of such cases. I felt being mercilessly ripped of alleviation and hope, subsequently flung into the depth of a bitter irony, sinking me in pathetic sufferings and agony and live with endless nightmares of this incident.

hmm

2007-09-04T19:16:00.000+08:00

Ill
I wonder what virulous virus predated on me which made me fall so sick...fuck..
I woke up at 4am this morning to find myself struggling in excruciating headache. I went to the kitchen and swallowed 2 panadols and went back to sleep. After which i woke up at 9am, i sent an sms to my music teacher informing her of my uncomfort and she even offered to bring me see a doctor if i can't really walk. Well, i thought it wasn't neccessary. SO basically, i slept throughout the whole day. Oh gosh. wanted to do my work initially but was undesirably plauged with this catastrophe.
In the afternoon, my mum came and she passed me a few boxes of chocolates from a relative who came from London. What a wrong timing. I love chocolates but i musn't indulge in it right now(though i ate 2 of them)

Few days ago, i saw an article in the Straits Times forum and felt unhappy about it. The author complained abt a musical which he watched, whereby he felt uncomfortabel with a gay scene in the story. He claimed tt he felt even more disturbed when he realised there're kids among the audience. THerefore, i wrotto express my thoughts :

I refer to the letter, “’Gay’ musical should have come with rating” (ST, Sept 1st) by Mr. Joseph Chia Yoong Leong

I personally feel that censorship/ratings towards homosexuality content are not a necessity in musicals.
As a stage enthusiast, I’ve watched stage musical of various genres and even performed in some musical productions locally.
I could even recall being involved in a particular musical whereby homosexuality was part of its content, and feedbacks were surprisingly given to applaud the writer on the idea of homosexuality; which boosted the climax of the story.

In Mr. Chia’s case however, he feared that young children in the audience will lack the maturity to understand homosexuality. My point is, since the kids wouldn’t understand the implications of this subject, I doubt that exposure to such scenarios will cause them to have debaucherous thoughts and thus, I believe a scenario on homosexuality is harmless so long as there’re no obscene acts involved.

Furthermore, living in such a conservative society whereby homosexuality is still not accepted, I believe that most parents and teachers who brought the kids to watch the musical will counsel them not to engage in it, and thus, it is a good chance for the kids to learn that homosexuality may not be a good direction for them in life.

Homosexuality may still be seen as an anomalous approach in out society. But if further censorship is implemented on homosexuality which was “not even the main story”, will local musicals lack of excitement and be in denial of the existence of homosexuality?
I believe that audience will be able to appreciate artistic with a more opened mind.

END

Why are these Singaporeans so narrow-minded? So what abt manifesting homosexuality in a stage play, where in this case in a musical production? Well, such plays are just part and parcel of our lives as human beings and if only the good side of life is shown in public stage plays, wouldn't ppl start to live in denial ?
Honestly speakng, living in such a competitive country, we're often faced wih more problems than happiness. Such as stress from work, home, friends, society. etc.

I just dislike the idea of singaporeans being so idealistic and living in self-denial. That's no wonder many parents are classified as ''OLD FASHIONED" by the younger generation nowadays, whereby they just simply can't face what the new world is actually like.
Like what my teacher told me, the worst approach in life is to remain constant. WE have to accelerate our lives consistantly and follow the trend of society if not we'll be left out. We remain constant only when we die , whereby our age remains constant.

Ok fine, i shall go find some food and start doing my work .. bb

Hols!

2007-09-03T14:50:00.000+08:00

Time flies
I recall 4 months ago whereby i were busy complaining to Ms Ho about how eager i was to get out of this pathetic sch. Yea, it's worth gallivanting getting out of a sucky school like this.
SHe told me that i'll be out of secondary sch before i know it. And yes, how true can that be? Here i am, spending my last few months at sec sch. YAY! HAPPY!!

WEll, there's a funeral going on at my void deck and what baffled me was it actually seemed like a wedding instead... Oh gosh. A mourny occasion can actually become a moment of rejoicing... I am amazed by such fetish.
Basically, what happened was this morning, the family of the late hired a group of GETAI perofrmers to perform oldies at the funeral. The singing of the troupe was so lively that the crowd cheered. What a bitter irony. The performance was supposedly dedicated to the deceased. But can you imagine the deceased actually hopping out of his coffin and singing tgt with the performers?

Well well, recently i began to cogitate alot on exocism and paranomals. I'm gonna share with you guys a personal experience i had afew years ago, during an exocism session.

The room was gloomy and cold. I felt like an audio-disabled person for the place was filled with nth but complete silence. I apologised for my late-coming but was dismissed rudely by the priest. The music began. Every one was singing as though they've lost control of themselves. The atmosphere was filled with faith and healing.
THen we were instructed to lie on out backs on the cool marble floor. Soon after, a man's voice hurled across the room in an unearthly tone. I could feel a tinge of revenge and hatred in the volume. The words cursed the exocist mercilessly and we all watched in fear and confusion. Subsequently, the priest wipped out a bottle of holy water and spinkled on the figure, what surprised me the most was the voice actually came out from a women's mouth! As holy water pounced on the body, smoke emitted from her back as though a fire has been extinguised. It was a gruesome sight.
Soon after, the exocists surrounded the lady and prayed over her. The deadly voice was heard again . It swore to be back for revenge.

I want happiness

2007-08-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

I haven't been that well lately. Leaving my home at 6.30 in the morning, reaching home after sunset at 10pm in the evening. The only enjoyable thing is the coolness of the air these few nights.

Have been attending night study for these 2 weeks. Well, i've benefited from it in a way that i can concentrate and we don't have to stick to boring lessons and we're allowed to do our work at our own pace.

One complain though, those who do not belong to the graduating batch shd seriously have some consideration by not disturbing us by misbehaving themselves. The night study programme was organised to benefit and help the graduating students by giving us a place to study together, consult teachers when in need.
I'm totally fine with non-graduating students joining us but the fact is that they don't realise their inconsideration when they indulge in running around the canteen like primary sch kids, hurling their voices across the tables despite seeing ppl contientiously mugging, littering the floors with their dinnered-rubbish and puffing cigarretes discreetly in the toilet, triggering suspicions by the teachers.

Fatigued with the tremendous amount of work load, i seriously have lack of energy and enthusiasm to control by yelling at them. I'm baffled and disappointed that the school actually dismissed such irritating fatuities and teachers simply act as though they see nth; except for the powerful Mr Chan.

What is this world becoming to? People of such a young age are already so obnoxious and rebellious.
How will they end up when they grow up in perhaps 10 yrs time? OR rather, 5 years time?

Underaged smoking is a debaucherous act. Althogh i was a lucky ex-offender, i still feel that many teenagers puff because of peer-pressure, picking up a habit, doing it for fun etc. and not like me, smoking for the sake of relaxing myself off the multiple angst which simultaeneously pounce on me, and i can only pathetically accept the damn treatment and alleviate the angst by smoking when i was a year or 2 younger ( i've quit though).
Just look at those imbeciles in my sch. They don't resemble a student at all. Except for the unwilling uniform which they put on, there's no way of identifying them as students because their minds are filled with childishness. They're unknowledgable, bemused easily by their surroundings and do not have a mind of their own. So vulnerable towards their ego when temptations approach them.
At such a young age, they've already been out of the control of their religion and parents. It is hard to imagine how difficult the law will have to be on them when they grow up 10 years later.

Next. People who know me better are aware that i seldom give presents and give things.
Reasons are because firstly, i'm stingy, 2ndly ive not been working and i dont hv the sufficient asset to splurge my money on indiscriminately.
Teachers' day has sucked alot of my money away.
This is my last year in sec sch and i'm only giving teachers who deserve the presents and thks givings.
Well, i wouldn't neglect my music teacher though. WE're going for lunch tmr afternn. haha..
Total spent on teachers day = $60
Oh Gosh...How could i?
I don't really hv much money now. Received Sept's allowance and now left with $$310. damn...
Such a voracious eater like me can hardly survive on this.

OK fine, i'm gonna slp now. End this post abruptly...

Breasts

2007-08-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

Well well
Complaining time.
I really hate to barricade myself in the four walls of books and exam papers. But do i have to choice to reject them? I've been working quite abit, but still suffice on Physics. Alexis asked me why do i have the sudden adore for this particular subject which is taught by a teacher with no teaching passion and who's detrimental.
Well, do i have a choice to do what i favour and don't? I don't. No matter what, for these 2 mths at least i'll have to adhere to this iron routine. I'm glad that i've gotten myself out of the sloth and started working on my books since the month of Augest.
Although i doubt i'll do very wel for prelims, i'll put in my best to emulate my past debilities.
Yea, my stress is burgeoning. It's really surreal to know that such a lazy person like me is able to compel myself to start studying by being contientious.
Of course, there're ppl who impel me for my own gd. Like Ms Ho and Ms Toh. My maths teachers. They're really nice.

Next, i said i'm working in my studies but that doesn't mean that i have to capitulate to glorify the school rules by attending sch every day.
Heck, i'm utterly disappointed by the sch system. For English, the english teacher herself is a lost sherperd to lead us into preparation of O lvls. At least, maths teachers are doing sth, so when that day with no maths lessons, i'll usually skip.

Yea, i'd like to talk about this particular teacher in my sch who teaches me currently.
I dont know what lead her to turn into such an obnoxious figure who tries so hard to embellish herself despite being pregnant with a kid.
, i must admit her outer beauty. She is beautiful, yes( though not appealing to me)
But does she have to be a bitch by wearing such revealing clothings, flaunting her succulent breasts and showing off her bumpy backside in such an imperative manner.

I believe it is not arduous for her to save some humility for herself. Her behavior is absolutely infernal. Does she even know that male students in sch are discussing and gossiping about her breasts and buttocks, some even claiming to get sexually aroused?! Such inextricable attention is inevitable when a teacher behaves like this.

Also, she seems unhappy that i've not been attending sch. I'm already so numbed to complains and reports abt me by teachers that her threat of reporting me to the disciplinary comm abt my absentism doesn't trepidate me. Her efforts to get me punished will nv budge my despondency.
IF she's really a good teacher, she'll know and think of ways to alleviate my melancholia towards sch and motivate me.
But too bad, i just get the impression of her expressing her wrath of my absence as she thinks tt i won't do well.

Sometimes, it's kinda elusive to comprehend what human beings are up to.
Facades are commonly put on, lies often coating the truth, selfish-ness flooding minds of us and detrimental thoughts always plauge our minds.
People like me have innate anomalous behavior. Thus, i'm not able to communicate well with ppl verbally sometimes as i'll be descriminated as someone probably mentally unsound; weird; gay.
Many ppl and even non-living things tell me that i'm an alberation. Always evades from norm and unpredictable. Very typical of a capricorn..haha...

Just back from night study and gg to bed soon.

Gd night ppl!

What?

2007-08-26T12:33:00.000+08:00

Hey!
An interesting discovery i made ytd. My ideal guy shares the same surname and birth date(but different mth) as I!!
HOHO!!
Last night we had supper with a grp of friends and he sat right beside me.
There just this indominatable attraction from him towards me.. Some time ago i thought of trying to forget him by playing ard with other guys. But, how could i bring myself to such cruelty?
His bdae is on the 18th of Feb and mine is on the 18 of Jan. We both share the same surname " LIM "
haha...
I must say, the obsession, attraction, feeling is getting deeper and deeper as days go by.
He's an epitomise of charm. Yea, i do not like him bcos of his looks.
Ppl tend to ask me what type of guys i go for. I have no particular type of guy whom i pursue.
I'm spontaeneous and inspirational. But of course, i make sure tt guy is not detrimental.

He's the source of my joy
He emerges a smile out of my fatigue with
His charmy charm.
Coincidental or fate is this?
WE share the same birthday and last name

He has started to treat me
With equality and looked upon me
without discrimination
Glad as i may be
I see my destiny approaching.

I'm sadden when vilifications pounce on him
I'm angry with predators who poke fun on him
I'm nervous when he talks to me and i cherish it
He emits warmth indiscriminately when beside me

I see my destiny approaching
My future and my happiness less denying

Gratitude

2007-08-24T22:49:00.000+08:00

There're some people who just disappear out of the blue.
One example is my EX-BF.
HIs name is Kelvin, a Vietnamese and is 22 yrs old.

In times, even though a couple has broken up, it doesn't mean that there's no
subconscious feeling within the 2 of them mutually.
When we broke up in April, he was sobbing helplessly. This is ironical.
He was the one who initiated the break up and yet, he's crying over it.
What is this?

Since the break up, we didn't contact each other more than seeing each other on msn.
I thought it was essential to let the both of us get a good rest.
However, i sent him an sms exhibiting polite concerns and regards recently.
Sadly, i was remunerated with a dis-acknowledgement from him asking me ''Who are u''
He din't even bother to keep my HP number. Why is he such an imbecile i really wonder.

More than this, i was deleted off his Fridae friend list and he blocked me on msn.
I added him on my alternative msn address and found tt he's online there and not online on my older account.
I've treated him so well, i took such good care of him and loved him indiscriminately despite his hunger for sex in times of his relapse from the high sex drive which is innately in him.

When we were tgt, we used to club every friday night and he'll normally stay over at my house after tt. It sounds contradictory to hear that i hasn't had sexual intercourse with him in our term of r/s.
He asked for it voraciously but was rejected by me vehemently.
It is inevitable that he get disappointed but i don't see having sex as the pillar of a r/s!!

He feels that sex is imporant. SO let me ask this, look at older couples. Surveys have been conducted on couples after the age of 40 questioning them if they still adore sexual intercourse. 90% of them gave a negative answer. What supports the r/s is the mutual feel for each other and th sacrifices over the years and so on.
Kelvin simply barricaded himself off the real world of genuine r/s matters and its pillars, chose to ignore them and adhere to his idiosyncrasies; hunger for sex.
I'm utterly disappointed with his ingratitutes and behavior.

An epitomise of horniness is he
irritating true heartlanders are we
He lacks the self-discipline
to control sth which he needs surrepstitiously.

Over the months and over the days
i've hoped occasions has changed his daze
Disappointingly and ironically
i was wrong and he cut off ties with me.

Well well well
What a waste of a cutie.
If only senses have woke him up
and penetrated into his little barricaded mind
Such a criticism wouldn't be manifested
to satirize his vilifications and frivolities.

Copywrited and Produced by MRKR

back

2007-08-23T13:02:00.000+08:00

The feeling is back again.
The fear of not doing well is here again. Why?
I question myself.
My horoscope had been telling me to organize my schedule well, which i've done so,
and consistently telling me to evade from being paranoid. Ytd's horoscope told me
to be easy on self-criticisms. But i really fear. I really fear tt i can't reach my goals.

Why is being a Singaporean so stressful? Oh GOD! Save me from this excruciating agony pls.
Living in Singapore is just so competitive.
It's either you make it or not.
Why is this so?
People struggling in life, in thier work, in their studies, with their family and friends.
Just to get a better life.

We memorise our work in school over and over again, repetitively. NO life and creativity is encouraged at all.
We have to adhere to indominatable facts and can't argue over it.
In international schs, students do not go according to all these monotonous routines, they study themselves, read up on their own upon natural curiosity.
Can't Singapore do the same?

Well, what's the use of comtemplating so angrily over it now>
I've been following this iron routine for 10 yrs and i have to struggle through for the
last pathetic 2 months.
If i do not excel for O lvls, then too bad, i have to repeat my sec 4 or go to a pte sch.
Touch wood.

Fine, i shall not waste anymore time and start studying now.
BB

sch

2007-08-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

What should i say?
I've really been studying.
I've scored a B3 for chinese. Well, i do not intend to retake though.
I'm someone who plan out my routes and proceedures before doing anything. I believe heavily in good organisation.
Therefore, it doesn't mean that when my fellow friends decide to go for a retake of the O lvl chinese i have to have congruent thoughts and do the same without much analysis and adherence of my initial plans.
I've planned my time properly to study certain subjects within this period of time. I've really been studious.
I'm not gonna let my ego and a bit of dissatisfaction thwart my plans, am i gonna? I'm not for goodness sake.
I don't see a reason why people react towards their results so harshly.
I shall quote a scenario here:

Student A : Wah! Eh, i got B3 leh, u see those china ppl got A1 wah lao! RETAKE LA!
Student B: Wah, i also get B3 leh. Die la, i not happy, RETAKE!
Student C : Wah lao, i got B3 nia, eh, u 2 gg to retake ah? Ok lor, i also retake la retake la...

END

This is how singaporeans always react.

Why not give it a deeper thought?
See, practicing for another subject is definitely a hindrance. As most of them are retaking for the sake of alleviating their DISSATISFACTION, attention will be accentuated to only this subject and most will tend to neglect the other subjects. Reason being, being a B3 students shows tt the particular student has got a foundation there. Thus, with more practice, he/she will have a sense of achievement and feels happy doing more and more hence becoming into a sort of 'addiction' i shall call it.
Yes, they'll do well during the retake, but what about other subjects? Especially english. Do you know the importance of english internationally?

It really scares me when i see some of my friends actually scoring F9 for english during MYE.
I can't imagine myself doing so badly for English.

Now now, my only concern is humanities esp SS. For literature i'm quite steady already. But my main concern is SS. It's a tough subject seriously.

I just got back from night study and i feel so happy that i've finally finished revising the last chapter of Physics and can start practising on exam papers and 10 year series.
My target for Comb science is B3.

As for maths, i do not harbour high expectations this time. C5 for prelims will satisfy me. But I'm working towards a B3 for O lvls.
English, i HAVE TO GET an A2 for prelims. damn.
But i suppose my O lvl english oral was splendid. haha..

Next, one thing which really pisses me off always.
I entered the sch this evening with sandals.
Well, partially it's my fault but what's the problem with wearing sandals ? Are we back here for some physical trg or is there gonna be a visit by important guest whereby we have to look nerdy and "appropriate" in their sense to enter the sch even for night study which is from 7pm to 9pm? Oh gosh. Won't the school just let us off a little?
I was allowed in after cooking up a grandmother's story to the power-hungry security guard.
She was simply trying to show her power by scrutinizing every single student who enters and happily picking out students whom she finds faulty, and passed sadistic remarks by critisizing the student with her apprehensive tone and point of view.

I wouldn't blame her if she did not pass the remarks of calling me a ''GOOD BOY" for wearing sandals into the sch sacastically without even knowing if i had appropriate reasons for doing so.
Just because the teacher in charge told her to not allow anyone to enter if they've improper footwear(while it's bcos the teacher is too lazy and busy to apprehend those students), this guard was so gullible and naive to think that she's been honoured with the POWER to chase students home; when she's actually being made use of. Such stupidity, arouses my laughter inevitably. hahahaha...

Fine fine, i'm gonna sleep now. Waking up at 4am to do my work..bb

wellwell

2007-08-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

He is a Phantom of Delight,
WHen he first gleamed upon my sight.
When ever i'm dull and out,
His presence never fail to lift my spirits up

Now now now
As prelims are trekking
Nearer and Nearer
I've promised myself never
ever to let this down.

Mugging Mug mug
sucking all the knowledge i
Can from the succulence of
My dear textbooks.

Sooner soon soon
I shall be annihilated with
The depressing of mood
originating from the fatigue
of my tremendous shrewds.

Then Then Then
Prom night Begins.
HO! I shall say
I shall feel
I shall seal;
My memories of my secondary life
With a Bill ( the payment for prom night la wad else?)

After that that then
A new scenerio of my life begins
Out of the closet and into the world
It'll be my start
For a Time of Strive!

today

2007-08-13T09:41:00.000+08:00

Didn't go to sch today. I doubt i'll go tmr also.
Boring life, lame and stressful.
Well, i rather go for night lessons in sch than go in the morning
I'll be gg tonight.
Hopefully Maths teachers will be present.

I'm seriously pisses off ytd.
Supposed to meet Ken after trg and when i reached Tampines, he didn't answer my calls and take such a long time to reply an sms. In the end, he fooled me ard for 2 hrs and i left in disappointment.
Well, it's all about responsibility. He didn't even bother to call or msg to apologize about what happened.
This simply makes me think tt he's such a selfish and eccentric person.

Anw, i went to cut my hair ytd. Finally, my hair is short now.
Ok, fine, i gg to do my work now..

BB

Tall?

2007-08-11T23:36:00.001+08:00

Tall? Yeah i'm tall. Standing at 1.84m.
Tall? So what?
My abilities are sufficely insucculent.
Yea, in other words, i suck.

What's wrong with me these days?
Getting emo emo emo.
Studying like a nerd these few weeks.
Looking at some undesirable races with such disdain.
Influenced negatively.

Am i not working hard to excel academically?
I just don't see why God is so unfair.
I have friends who can simply understand in certain topics of a subject by just once or twice read through.
Why am i not borned with such innate ability?

Well, i noe. There're ppl who're much much more unfortunate than i am. But, if God doesn't give me at LEAST, the very least abilities to pursue my goals, then why create me as such an ambitious and inspiring person?

Yea, i'm just a stupid fool. Ppl praise me by saying that i have musical talent. But RUBBISH! I don't possess any innate musical talent. I just work too hard. Very very hard. Like a bull to emulate others. That's why i can progress.

I'm just back from training. I'll be fighting 2 weeks later.
Got owned so badly during sparring.
However, my horoscope today tells me sth which made me feel encouraged and determined.

Today, it's not about winning or losing -- it's about achieving a good compromise.
In a current power struggle, you might be focused on winning, but are you really seeing what's at stake? This might be a time when it's not about winning or losing -- it's about achieving the best possible outcome. And when you realize what the best outcome is, you may realize that it's time to stop pushing against your opponent and start working with them. Making a compromise will save you a lot of stress, a lot of time and a lot of energy. You are stronger when you team up with someone.

How true is this?
And just now Mikhail said i fought like a GuNiang...Sob sob....
nvm....I'm still young, plenty of time to train.
And after my Os i'm gonna screw myself very badly.
I'm gonna train, to remunerate what i should have. I am gonna barricade myself, lock myself somewhere, meditate and seek enlightenment. Probably go back to my dear dear home town ALONE.

Ok, i'm gonna apply some medicine on my injured leg and go to sleep. Damn, trg tmr ...ARHHH....

Hate me?

2007-08-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

Didn't you hate me ?
Didn't you want me to fuck off and get out of your life?
Didn't you give me the right to be a debaucherous person and didn't give a fuck about what i do?

Then why the sudden change of your attitude towards me?
You fill me with full of doubts and probing questions which are voraciously and thrusting into my mind.

Pls, can you make things clear with me?
You're always making me so moody over this.
And i'm so soft-hearted and frail hearted to let this kinda matter overwhelm my analytical mind.
Is this my weakness? Emotions always bemuse me. Disable me to think properly.
Then why am i feeling this way towards u?

After a long long 7 months, you suddenly lifted off that disdain which you hv been using to look upon me.

We sparred today.
When i kicked you to a fall, i felt so apologetic and distraction was pulling me off the ground.
I hope that those kicks which you've slapped me with has gave you a chance to learn sth technically.

I seriously feel for you. When my teacher learnt about this, she told me '' would you dare to tell him directly in his face? If not wake up, forget abt him and get a life" But i'm sorry. I know you hate me, but i'm not gonna leave like that.

I wanna let you know from my mouth that I LOVE YOU so much. I don't fall for anyone so obsessively nor easily.

When i seriously fall for someone, it takes a fetish to alleviate the hurt and pain which falls upon me bcos of it.
What to do? I'm kinaesthetical and sentimental. Emotions always overwhelm my ability to think properly. Call me childish or wadeva. But, when it comes to love and emotions, i just simply can't take it as though i don't feel it and act like a cold-bloody salmon.

When i fell in love with Shiyao, it took me about 2 years to get over it.
Now, although i don't feel the strongness of afinity with him, but at times, the subconscious feeling is still there.

You're the second one to hurt me so much emotionally. You can't blame me for being homo.
I've tried gg with a gal and she hurt me too.

I'm now confused, bemused...

Sch sux

2007-07-31T07:55:00.000+08:00

I tell you, sch sux

Since i don't know when, late comers have to run round the field for rounds until the teacher on duty is happy.
So sadistic.
And
Student leaders hv to take double the punishment.

I'm gonna say, such juvenile punishment only work on kids.
I seriously think that the school is somehow or rather bemused.
Look here, ppl of my age are especially defiant and have a mind of their own

And as a Half- Capricorn - Half- Aquarius, i hate people to tell me what to do and boss around with me.
Late goers like me simply can't be bothered to accept the consequence
and hence, decides not to go to sch.

I took a bus to Braddell Road as usual for a change of bus to sch.
The bus simply had to stop at every single junction bcos of the damn heavy traffic.
Upon reaching Braddell
Unfortunately, not a cab nor bus was in sight.
Waited and waited
The crow soared above my head, over the old haggard tree.
looking at the time it was 7.25am

Cogitating and calculating
I knew i would be late.
Pissed off at this
I crossed the road and
took a cab home.

Now, sitting down here on my comfortable little chair
right in front of my computer
I'm complaining about school
and satirizing its idiosyncrasies
and my loathe for it.

I was persuaded to join a Chinese drama competition in late term 2.
Thinking that it wouldn't drag till now, i succumb to the pressure and persuasions.
To my horror, i was supposed to go for rehearsals and practice every Monday, Tues and thurs which totally take away my time for revision.
I have to know my priorities.
I'm sorry teacher, i can't attend practices.

I know the competition is this friday, i've rehearsed it at home and it's only a small part of the act which i have to perform.
Well, some people just think they're geniuses.
This particular gal in this competition grp thinks that i don't wanna go because i'm lazy and couldn't be bothered.
Hey, excuse me for a minute, think before you make any sacastic statement if not you'll end up shaming yourself and being poked fun at behind your back.
As a graduating students i hv to rush for many stuffs.
MY coursework, i have to hand it in by tmr.

Ms Sri Warned us not to absent ourselves today because she wants to complete the coursework B with us.
But i was seriously pissed off which made me skip sch.
Therefore, i have to complete the work at home shortly after this.

Pls trust me alright, i'm really studying at home.
I know i used to laze my time away
but now i know the seriousness and i wanna MAKE A DIFFERENCE in my style.

Just that gg to sch is a waste of time now.
I spent 2 periods in english class doing nth but listening to tt Preetha teacher teaching on basic knowledge which i have already mastered it sub-consciously.
I spent 2 periods in FNN doing nth but completing my table for the experiment.
I spent one period in POA class doing revision ( other subj)

Nvm, i better go now...BB

Encumberance

2007-07-29T14:20:00.000+08:00

Honestly, some imbeciles just don't deserve to live.
One example whom i see everyday, have to tolerate his nonsense, ego, petulance, irritance etc.
This person is non other than my irritating father.
Not that he disciplines me or what.
But, he doesn't do anything except for trying to wet blanket at all things at home and spoil ppl's mood.
I seriously don't know what is wrong with him. He's nothing but an undesirable encumberance.

What did he do when my aunt got rob? He did nth to assist but sat there, critisizing my aunt for being unalert and claiming that he knew who the robber was.
What did he do when his mother got hospitalized? He was supposed to bring the maid to and fro the hospital everyday because he doesn't work. He was supposed to lighten up the stress of the situation and assit but he did nth of it all . It takes such a fetish for him to do sth meaningful and worthwhile.

Have we not talked to him and persuade him and create chances for him to find a job?
He claims tt he can't find one when he's actually plagued with laziness and lame excuses to cover up his fatuity.
I really despise him.

He thinks that just because of the 10 years of experience in the shipping industry which he has 20 years ago makes him an expensive person to seek solace in alcohol everyday.

Why does he look at himself at such a height?
In the morning when people drink coffee and water, he drinks nth but the costly beer.
$0.8 is enough to satisfy the majority with coffee but he needs $8= 2 cans of beer in the morning.
More than this, he does nth but drink, watch tv, eat slp. This is his routine.
Why don't he just die? Why does God want him to continue living for?

??

2007-07-26T17:30:00.000+08:00

Fat?
Yea, i think i put on some weight.
Hopefully Hougang training resumes. But i've been self-trg, but still putting on weight because of my voracious eating.

Anyway, regarding school, like what i said. I only attending school Yesterday and on Monday...
I don't even know if i'll go tmr or not. But most probably i will because of Maths and SS.
Did a maths paper today, i'll be doing Literature and physics later..

Introspecting, the constant thing which i enjoyed most about sec sch is the Food. haha...The western stall and DimSum one. They're the only ones who don't give you lousy quality in your food.

Next, something happened to one of my teachers on Monday.
It was right after school and i was at her homeroom.
Then, a conflict btw the teacher and an Indian student, who's a repeat student of Sec5.

I heard every word with my own ears. I saw what happened with my naked eye.
This student, was being a bastard and tried to defend his friend who's being scolded by the teacher.
The class was filled with students and this indian bastard threw insults at the teacher like stones.
Of course, the teacher felt down about this.

I just don't understand these people. Why?
Why do they behave like this?
As you can see, this student is a repeat student who came back to study because he didn't do well in 2006's O lvl.

Speculating, he should know that his priority is to study and know tt he can't afford to waste time on all these fatuities.
However, he tinged such obnoxious petulance and did harm to others without being considerate. Furthermore, it was towards a teacher who's not as power hungry as others.

From the way he behaved, it just tells me that he's trying to trode over ppl's head and prove seniority.
If he's really that capable and clever like how he's able to critisize the teacher, he doesn't need to be such a pathetic failure by being a moron despite knowing his purpose of retaining.

I just see that he wasn't properly brought up. It's either that he's so Stubborn that his parents don't wanna teach him proper civics, or he's so stubborn that he doesn't wanna learn.

I look at these imbeciles with such discriminative disdain. Yucks. They're incorrigible and beyond salvation. Without these idiots' existence, there'll be more peace on Mother Earth.

Ok, i'm gonna have my dinner and resume working

sux

2007-07-22T14:38:00.000+08:00

Well,
what shd i say.
School has been monotonous.

I don't feel at all pushed in my studies.
Therefore, i'll hv to push myself.
Then i was thinking, since the school isn't doing anything to push us, why not just do my work myself?
Why waste time going to sch then?
Since the school doesn't wanna do anything, or rather, the hackneyed excuse they always give of having insufficient number of teachers; i can't wait for them to do something. Right?
I can't afford to wait and stone just for the sake of wanting them to spoon feed me.
I have to solve it myself.
I hope this doesn't end up in a double whammy.
Therefore, i've been trying to find a place to study.... Definitely not at home.
I'm not disciplined enough to keep myself away from the distractions like computer and my piano.

So if any of you have any idea of a place where i can i study and do my work in solitude without any distractions, pls let me know ya?

Well, my only concern is Social studies. Mdm Prema has yet to complete on the last chapter.

At the rate that we're going, i really don't know how are we going to sit for our O levels.
Even for english, i still have lots to buck up to get an A1.
And seriously, i don't find any of Mrs Siva's lessons useful in pulling my marks up. Well, my tutor is coaching me in my english and she's doing a gd job.
For Literature and stuffs, i have to start emailing Mrs Maraan my essays.
But i hope that i'll get better response than Mdm Prema, my ss teacher.

Anyway, went to watch a MUAY THAI competition with Koonsan ppl.
"HE" dressed up so well ytd...He's so HANDSOME!!!
Well, same thing, plenty of cute and hot guys there..In the martial art circle, there're countless hotties and cuties...hehe...

Then did quite alot of sparring last night. Yea, got owned by Yaode man...OMG
In fact he injrued my GUMS...ARHH...I'm gonna train harder...

Went for trg just now in the morning. Only Yaode and i turned up. So sian...
But still trained with half the finesse but twice the conviction.

Well, few nights ago, i was cogitating something which brought down my tears.
I don't know why and what am i still secretly holding this damn torch for him for...
The thought of him transported me back to the time of what he wrote in his friendster about
me. It's really very hurting when someone you have feelings for reacts this way towards you.
Well, he talks to me these days. I feel that i hasn't done anything wrong to him, so why must he be so vindictive and discriminative?
I like him so?

ok well..
I've decided, after tmr, which is my practical exam for coursework B, i'm gg to skip sch until prelims only. Maybe i'll just attend sch on Fridays and Saturdays....

These days

2007-07-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

Kids these days are simply fatuous... Their petulance is irrevocable.
Well, i'm referring to those kids in my school. I seriously can't take in the way they behave ( making lots of noise by throwing words of profanity like throwing stones, picking on others when they're not aggravated, interrupting during lesson time and thus making teachers not able to carry on with lesson and thwarting other's diligence etc etc)

Also, power hungry teachers simply seem to have nth better to do.
I was late for school on monday morning.
Running from the sch gate to the foyer, i was panting like a marathoner.
As i was approaching the foyer, the bell rang. Power hungry duo of an
unpopular race in sg stopped me right at the foyer. I was in great unhappiness
when i saw tt the students wasn't even stood up for morning assembly.

Giving in to this fate, i joined the late coming students.
After national anthmn, everyone has got to run round the carpark 10 times as a form of punishment
After the rounds, i went back to the sitting place. Then, a voice from behind called my name. It was oe of the power hungry malay duo, by the name of Mdm R. Mdm R scrutinized me and claimed tt i had to run another 10 rounds as i was a student leader. From the closure of the prefectorial board, i explained to her instantly why i need not do it. She claimed tt i still need to be a role model and i'm still a student leader just tt iv'e stepped down from duties. All of her arguements sounded so rehearsed and planned. This explicitly shows that she spends her time on how to deal with students rather than how to make students excel better academically. This explains why her students are unproductive when it comes to examination.

Mother fucking power hungry bitch.

Well welll

I wanna relate a story whereby i encountered last week. Yea., it's quite funny though...
I wrote this for composition wor...

It goes like this :
The setting sun filtered through the layers of clouds at a renowned reservoir in singapore.There i stood with my legs wide apart on the lush green grass, preparing for my usual evening jog. The air was refreshing, filled with the lustrous smell of the green trees. Jogger's lively chats could be heard on and off. The jogging tracks was trodden by ppl from all walks of life.

Without further ado, i began running. Up the nature trail i went. The picturesque of the fresh green plants was so pleasant to my eyes that it immediately ceased my fatiuge. As i jogged up the trail, many joggings ran pass me. Guys with well-toned body and a wonderfully tanned complexion never failed to overwhelm me with admiration.

Despite the existence of these wondetrs, i hate the obnoxious rocks on the ground which always seemed to trip joggers while working out.

Out of the blue, an idiosyncrasy caught my attention. About fifty metres away, was an old wooden bench, seated by two young muscular guys. What happened next dispelled my doubts of their sexual oreintation. The two male teenagers started getting intimate. It was such a surreal and romantic scene. Attraction attention with such actions was inevitable. Therefore, they were dreched with joggers' discriminative scrutinies.

???????

2007-07-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

What is wrong with me these days? What is wrong? Why am i getting more and more eccentric and stressed up over nothing?
I feel stressed bcos of studies, not bcos the sch stress us but i'm stressed tt the sch is not stressing us at all!!

How ironic right?
Well, i must say this is a sucky budget sch which is run by a bloody principal who tinge power-hungriness and plagued with many teachers who've no passion for teaching and filled with ppl like Kavitha the fking indian teacher who only knows how to reprimand but doesn't guide students out of the wrong path.

I really hate it.
Firstly, it's my studies. Secondly, it's my songs. I've been into a serious state of mental and writer's block..
Even now, when my songs has been accepted, my writer's block is still here...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? WHAT IS WRONTG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????

I just dunno how to make my feelings explicit now...I feel so warm...I feel so hot....The weather is so warm. I need so coolness.
I can't stand the obnoxious weather. I can't stand the terrible ppl in ftp. I can't tolerate the ppl living with me. I need to be alone.
What's wrong with me? Why am i behaving like this? Why am i gg crazy>

Where has all my song writing ideas gone to?
Where has all my mindfullness gone to?
Where has al my pesevereance gone to?
Why have they all evaporated>?
Will they condense?

Oh Shit...Why is this happening to me?
Do i need to see a psychiatrist? Do i?

Readers, tell me, DO I NEED OR NOT?

I'm seriously being more and more eccentric these days...
I beat someone up for nothing...
I scold ppl for nth.
I get stressed over nth.
WHY WHY WHY?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haiz

2007-07-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

what shd i say?
My song HAVE been accepted by the producer..Yea....But after a few hours, i was told that sth went wrong with it. So i was told to redo it. Well, i've sent the amended piece. I really do hope i can get this chance.
My music mentor, Naomi, have been supporting me without fail and voraciously. She's the one who really develop my self-discipline(although still not so), she's the one who always reminds me of my bad habits, she is the one who always scolds me when i piss her off...haha...Ok la, i'm very lucky to have her...Yea, she ROX.
Check out her company's website at www.lushholdings.com

Next, i went for training over the weekend and well, did those normal exercises. Also, i finally managed to pull myself to jog at the reservoir. I've been so lazy.

School have been boring. Monotonously bored. Well, my friends weren't happy with the new english teacher and as you all know, i always side my class. Yea, i'm biased. So i actually observed the teacher and tested her nonsensical fetish when i entered her room. Surprisingly, she liked me quite alot. Well, i dont knwo why though. Some people just dislike me at first impression and some just simply like me from first meet.
And well, i read an essay during english period with my crystallic clear voice and succelent expressions of words. I was praised by this english teacher for being able to read well.

Next, i've made improvements in SS...YAY!! I must really say that Mdm Prema is a wonderful SS teacher. Not even as a teacher but also as a mentor. She's really very kind, very compassionate. I'll never forget her...Her patience is so great that it's indescribable with the large scope of english language.

Well, my school is having a National Day's Fun Fair on the 8 of augest. I'm looking forward towards it. Ya...
My class is setting up a stall on temporrary hair dye. Ms Ho got the sprays through my mother.

ha. O lvls are coming. I better study hard.
I've been studying . yea, working hard for my targets...

haa

yawns

2007-07-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

sian

2007-07-06T20:50:00.000+08:00

Sigh...okok

I'm gonna explain my absence in blogging this week. I have been approached by a music producer to write a song for an artiste who's gonna release her debut album. I've been sending in entries which have been rejected.
This week, i was given a last chance to co-write a song. My partner is a gd song-writer. For the whole week, i've been trying very very hard, and trying to enjoy myself to write the song, but, i just can't produce the kinda RESULT. WHY!!!???? WHY!!????
I've worked so hard over the past few years in music.Why am i stucked at thsi simple task now?
I used to compose songs for other purposes, and i used to be filled with great ideas on Song-Writing.
Where has all the ideas gone to? Why am i facing such a Writing block? WHY WHY???!!
I don't wanna lose this rare chance of writing this song. Really....
It'll be my first break into the international music market.
But Why have all my ideas dried up? WHy? WHY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHERE DID IT GO TO!!!!!!!!!!?????????????? WHEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!???????
aisdfgIDhf;oedfha odifh aowqerfh qef haoetg oawiedhfoiaweh flahdsfjlhabeodfjwlkfhosaedjfklsdfhae
DFawedfgahsdofahdsofhalefnlaksdfnjadfjkalhfdlahsdoflnasldkfalksdnfladnflkadnfladsnflakmf

Pissed!

Sch

2007-07-01T17:38:00.000+08:00

Yea, Went back to school..
Well, First day i was caught for having unacceptable hair length. It really left me cogitating. Whether it's a positive or negative comtemplation, well, you people tell me...

I simply don't understand why schools adhere to such silly rules like making sure students have short hair. Well, i'm not saying that such rules should be avoided. Indeed, having a neat and tidy image as a student is important because it trains us on how to groom our self-image in a neat and tidy form when we go out to work in future.
But, why do government schools choose to make it such a big issue like chasing the student out of the school if he/she doesn't have acceptable(in their dictionary) hair length...

Next, it's been a hectic week for me. I spent the whole week preparing for the ''Creative drama Chinese Story'' Competition. It's rather interesting though. I had fun and stress while working on it with my mates.
This is gonna be my last participation is Co-curriculum activities.
So i left the adminstration and editting work to the younger ones. It's time to pass down...

It's been a long four years stay in Secondary sch. I've grown alot, learnt alot, and many things have happened in these 4 years. I must say that i really made use of these years properly and i hv no regrets of it.
If you'd ask me if i wanna go back to sec 1 and repeat everything i would say NO!. I'm happy with what i've gone thru and learnt. And i am sure that this is what i wanna learn and i've made full use of my time.
Being introspective, i've been through times of fatuities, frivolities, fun, sufferings, humiliations, stress.
haha...Of course, it's not enough... I'm still young and active. I will still STRIVE up and soar above the sky like the magestic eagle.

Went for training last night and today. Today only me Wilson and coach's son turned up.
Wah, duno what's up with me today.
Coach timed me for training at the punching bag. 3 rounds of punching. He emphasized on speed and power.
At the end of 2nd round, i was filled with tremendous fatigue.
At the last round, i dunno what was so overwhelming which ceased my fatigue. I just carried on punching and couldn't stop.. Sort of anyhow SEH already lah...After the 3rd round i laid on the ground and rolled around. OMG> It was so funny.

Well anyway, today's training is definately suffice. It was an exuberate one. I've improved alot but not enough yet. I want the succelent skills. And i'm training hard for it. YAY!!..
Be a person of quality.

These Days

2007-06-23T12:10:00.000+08:00

Well
Attended a Chalet 2 days ago with Kenny Shahul Kazaf and Haikel's friends.
I must say that Shahul really impressed me with his knowledge, mindsets and philosophies despite his young age of 22. Most of my friends who are of that age are still not as aesthetically, intellectually succelent as he is. Yea, he's gay too and he's the exceptional one who's so proud about it...haha...Well, and he's realli proud of who he is....
He told me one thing which i wanna share with you all ''Combine your Mind and Feelings together.''
Many times, we're bemused by what we feel. Despite knowing that we're constantly falling into traps, catastrophes, and undesirables we still go by our feelings because such decisions never go through our minds before being carried out. Therefore, we must constantly remind ourselves to use our Brains and Feelings.

Intuition Plus Intellectuality Equals to a Perfect And Productive Outcome.

It's been 2 years ever since i've been so affected by such preachings. In the past during during secondary sch camps, especially leadership camps, i always bring home teachings from the trainer. Especially the LTC camp when i was in secondary 2. I was so touched by the trainer, Mr Lai, that at the last day of the camp i actually cried that we're going seperate ways. Yea, up till this day, i miss him though...Sadly, i'm leaving secondary sch in a few months time. I hope that i can see him and tell him how much i admired him that time. I was such an introverted and shy guy at that time and he was the one who lighted up my life. I could still rmb how he used to encourage us in the camp.

A haa....School vacation is over. I have to go back to school on monday.
Well, this term is gonna past real Fast!
Yea, a flash back on how i always bitch and complain about my loathe for sch for the past few months.
Well, time really flies at the speed of light. Yea, gd! A few weeks after this term shall be ' O ' lvls.
haha. After which i shall find a job at YAMAHA and start to work until i enter Poly..
Before that, of course i've to study hard. Honestly, i didn't do much mugging this June. Well, NO TIME ALR!! I have to start studying! At least for maths, i hv confident that i can get a B3. Ya, i'm working towards it.
I saw my Music Mentor's nick on msn this morning
''When we wake up in the morning, we hv 2 simple choices,
go back to sleep to dream, or wake up and pursue our dreams''

Target for O lvls:
English - A1
Chinese- B3
Maths - B3
Combined Humans - B4
Combined science - B4
FNN - B3
POA - F9

Honestly, this is the best that i can do....
Speculating, i should have taken Music for O lvls. Haiz.
If i've done so, i can get another A1....
But, to be frank to myself, i don't yearn to get awesome results which will bring about loud applaudes from people. So long as i get below 15 points for L1 R4, i'll feel very contented.
What's the use of doing so well and in the end when we grow old, we've got no memories?
Why do people compel themselves to be such a voracious scholar? So that they'll be able to find a gd job when they graduate. SO what abt a gd job? SO that they'll be financially stable(although we always want more desptie having alot) and a place in society.

But, when we grow old, and have the money, most of these money goes to our medical bills, contribution of family needs, children's education and etc. Will we have anything to do when all our children reaches Prime age i their career and start to neglect us? The answer is No.
Well, i am a great music Lover. I learn music now not only for the passion for it but also to secure sth for me to do when i get old. Can you imagine, being an old man/lady sitting on the pathetic bench, getting so depressed and hungry for attention, being so lonely, awaiting death to approach them. It's really very sad you know.
To be very honest to myself, music does somehow make me neglect studying sometimes. I can't do without it. But i always force myself to study of course. However, i must admit that i spend more time playing on the piano and working out my vocal cords than studying. I can strictly lock myself in my room for 6 hours doing nth but being on Keys(playing my piano)

Ok, i'm gonna get going. I've to do my English Comprehension. Can you imagine, i got that at Week 1 of the holidays and now then i start doing...hai..Look, i'm still using Singlish,. Oh My Goodness!!
My Target for english is A1!!!!!!!!!!

ByeBye

BOY?

2007-06-17T09:23:00.000+08:00

Well well

I'm not gonna get too carried away or get too affected by things which i've already put in my best in.

HAA....Regarding that boy, well, just let him be bah. I'm somebody who can be very direct with words and feelings. But when i reach to a certain stage whereby i can't control myself to be conscious of not hurting you verbally, then don't blame me for being harsh.

So, the ConCluSion:

Forget about unnecessary stuffs, and carry on with my life. I won't let this obstruct my progression in life man. Like what i read in my friend's blog '' what if we were to die tmr? hv we lived our lives to the fullest?''

Well, to sound a little selfish, don't earn revenue for someone who doesn't give you the fair share of credits. It's not a world of charity, but just don't pamper your friends too much to the extend that they have a heavy reliance on you or don't learn anything despite your reminders and stuffs. IF they learn sth, at least u get satisfaction. Or at the very least, if they learn with their heart and soul, u'll feel proud of them. Not technically, but also mentally.

------------------------------------------OK, THE END OF THAT TOPIC--------------------------------------------------------

Yup, went for training on sunday night. Finally had a good work out since 2 weeks ago.

I seriously can't stand myself being fat. Yea, i lost alot of weight. From beginning of the year i weigh 96KG to now, 83 KG. ANw, i'm standing at 1.85m. Finally i'm of an acceptable weight...haha...

Speculating, i should not have stopped martial arts for the whole of last year.
I wasted one whole year doing nothing but feeding food voraciously into my mouth.
I wasted one whole year, seldom engage in sports and still, sucked at studies.
I used one whole year, Brushing up my musical skills. (sth productive)

Well, went to Bugis and watched Fantastic 4 with Kenny and frens.
I must applaud the film maker for the way he editted the graphics and story board.
It really impressed me. The idea of the story, the way it used humour to cover up the dangers and anxiousness in the characters.

Anw, before the show even started, we were alr seated in the cinema. So, we started to talk. There's this obnoxious old man behind us, kept on doing this ''SHHHH'' indicating us to keep quiet. Oh my goodness, thw show hasn't even started. And just because he wants to sleep doesn't mean that everyone has to be quiet. Even when we go to the graveyard, we still talk and make noise. Is there such a thing whereby we hv to keep our mouths shut when we go to graveyards? Will it disturb our loved ones who're SLEEPING IN PEACE?

Anyway, after the show, we went to Marina square for dinner. Well i had this Sweet and Sour chicken rice from MINI WOK. Rather disappointing though. It wasn't as tasty as i thought it was compared to other outlets.
After which we headed towards Orchard and we sat down at Macdonald's and started bitching and bitching. ABOUT INDIANS. Ok, this is the world wide web. SO i shall not elaborate mroe on our content of the bitching part whereby it's seriously humourous yet offensive. Well, i'm racist, ya so, Towards indians and malays, it's either they're my friends or i really dislike them.

Esp those Low-class bitches.
When they eat, they speak so loudly and open their mouths so wide that the disgusting morsels are visible from a mile away.
Can you imagine, eating while talking simultaenuously which will hinder disgestion of starch in our mouths. On a physical aspect, the morsels will fly out from their mouths towards all directions and the poor old cleaner has to bend her athritic waist down to clean up the mess these inconsiderate and fatuous kids caused.

Ok, i gonna eat now, do my homework, then go to macritchie reservoir for exercise.

bb

OK, what should i say

2007-06-16T11:15:00.000+08:00

Ok, now now...
haha...
Last night i went out with Kenny. I forgot to bring my cam along lah. So that's why i couldn't take any pics of him. Well, it's a good thing also bcos bcos bcos..hehe...It'll devoid you guys from snatching him away from me.

Anw, i wanna tell you guys. My dear small population of readers... I'm a literature person. I'm a writer. I'm artistically grown.
Pls, for hell's sake don't read my posts too superficially...Pls comprehend it thoroughly, analyse it like how you analyse literature prose in your secondary sch days, and comprehend it like doing your English comprehendsion for "o" LvLs.

I just don't understand why do YOU care so much about superficialities. Ok, let me be a more constructive blogger here....
I don't make use of other people's weakness to PIN-POINT or show my wrath nor dislikes towards another. Pls, go work on your comprehension.

Next, Did I say You Are Hypocritical? Who do u think you are? I do NOT blog for you alone ok. There're other readers in this blog. So this shows that i don't refer to u whatever things i say in my blog can. The word FRIENDS has got a damn wide scope.
BTW, if you are gonna comprehend it this way, or FEEL it HEAR it SMELL it this way, you are just making me think that you are guilty.

Following:
Eh pls, so what about how i present myself? I know you're very gd at dressing up and stuffs. I may be a little soft at times but so? But for goodness, don't be so ridiculously petulant....I hope it's not a cliche, but it seems that you've been in a rendenzous with styling up or what. Pls, looks aren't very important if you hv real skills. Look at those fries who're still stuck at that place, they're gd looking but they're STUCKED!

And, another satirization for your impression of AGE:
Well let me tell you one thing, being seasoned in age doesn't mean that you deserve anything out of nature-reality. And btw, YOU, and i mean YOU YOU YOU, are only older than me by 6 pathetic mths.
Since you're borned earlier than me by 6mths, for that 6 mths you're still a BABY can?
Let's see, you'll spend 2mths in hospital, and the rest of the next few mths at home being breast-milk-FED.
So, what are you trying to imply? That you hv 4-6 more mths of higher intake of breast milk than me issit?
FYI, i was sensitive to human's milk bcos of jaundice and this resulted in no breast-feeding for me.

Next, regarding your bdae.:
Whether you compelled that treat or not, you know it urself. U noe what ur heart speaks. You're always in self-denial. I won't hold back my words just because of some really distructive retaliation which you've implemented. You've always claimed to me that you hv a high EQ lvl. And u said bdae gathering. If one person feels it that way, it may not be very accurate. But if all feel it the same way, what have you got to say?
You believe alot in HOROSCOPES right? Both of us are of different horoscope. If both of us feel it the same way of what you're trying to imply, what does this show? Well, i'm not gonna be too direct, so it sounded a little rhetorical.

Subsequently:
COnstructive commends and complacency. What i'm trying to say about this fact is so fkingly outrageously obvious. You don't get it?
Rmb the comments which you gave when we were still at that place called _ A _ ....
Just because of your looks, you were put as a protege and got the...shd i say PLEASURE or Hidden catastrophe plans to judge an audtition? Rmb in the orange room, when i sang that song, what you said?
And that time u only learnt vocals for a mth... I still rmb every single word which you said vividly ok...
U said about my vocal range, my pitching...Eh, technically speaking, my vocal range is of a normal man's vocal range. MY pitching, at least i don't go off pitch with music.
The above are unconstructive commends which you've made.

Finally:
i refer to
'''''''I'm not what you are and stop calling me 'eh boy', saying bad things about Lee Kuan Yew, or "weiiiiii" here "weiiiiii" there.''''''''
Are you sure u're not what i am? Or at least, you're than i am. A bisexual aren't you? DOn't worry, no one knows you here. i can guarantee that. I say i won't divulge your sexual oreintation means i will NEVER.
I always call you boy bcos i find it cute. If you can't even take in this kinda small irritation( to you), then i seriously dunno how u're gonna make it in the entertainment industry since you've harboured hopes of getting into the music scene.

Lastly, regarding you Feeling DISAPPOINTED..
Boy, pls watch what you say.
Disappointed in me? Or in yourself?
Pls, and what true colours you're talking about?
What i said in my previous post doesn't show any true colour ok. When u say somebody shown his true colours means tt person suddenly hurt u or backstab u.
What i said in my previous post was what i already wanted to say it out. Just that i've been telling myself to let you realise it yourself but it seems that you still don't get it.
SO the best way for me is to do this.
PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF CLEAR OF WHAT TRUE COLOURS OF MINE WHICH YOU REFERRED TO.

Overall:
I have no means of showing hatred from my previous post.
From what i see of wht you've replied from your blog, you simply tell me that you see what i've said in my previous post as a criticism, pin-pointing, etc

Let me make myself CLEAR. Pls, take what i've said in my previous blog as a mirror. Go reflect on what i've said. Comprehend it PROPERLY!!! I've helped you comprehend what you've comprehended wrongly in this post. So PLEASE go and do some reflection. I won't hate you or what. But what i've said in my prev post doesn't point at you ALONE. Like i said, u're not the only reader. U're not the only human being i know.

One word to tell you is that you are ironically IMMATURED.
Despite being aware that you're on the turning point of being an adult, you are still plagued with such a superficial and child-like mindset. Pls, GROW UP..

If you really wanna live-by with surfaced stuffs and ignore the sophisticated, then pls go brush up on your english. Sorry to sound too direct.

Why ah?

2007-06-13T14:31:00.000+08:00

This post shall be filled with WHYS..

I really don't understand, WHY some guys like to use their Nasal Register to sing. You know, it sounds so damn damn damn damn outrageously ridiculously irritatingly fuckingly annoying? Well, for some vocalists, it sounds good when they sing in the nasal register at certain vocal ranges. But for most people, esp guys, using nasal register is the cause of their failure in being a vocalist!

Following, i was really comtemplating. FRIENDS.
In this world, some people are just your fair weather friends. During good times or if they want a favour out of you, they flock to you like vultures surronding a dead carcass.
During bad times, they scatter away like lost sheeps.
Well, some of my FRIENDS seem to be my real and genuine ones. But, they are actually so damn hypocritical. Pls, don't blame me for being a bitch and backstabbing you.
I was really thinking, so what if i lose this particular ''fren''? So what if he/she is my fren so what if he/she is not? What has he/she got for me to learn from and can i ever seek solace in this friend when i'm lost or in deep literal trouble? It seems that i'm the one who's always been the one offering the help.
Not to sound too calculative, but just don't go overboard la.

The issue here is, let me ask you guys, for eg, your birthday is approaching, do you hint to your friends that you want a treat? Well, but don't you think it's seriously too much when you even hv to choose the place and stuffs? A follow up on this, wouldn't you feel that this particular person possess obnoxious fetish when he/she keeps bugging present from you indirectly? I'm not afraid to post up my unhappiness on the WORLD WIDE WEB because i have nothing to fear because what i'm saying is the true fact and i don't think i've gone wrong anywhere.

Anyway, for me, i really don't mind even if i don't get anything for my birthday you know. So what about birthdays? It's just a day whereby your parents add further encumbrance to mother earth. It's just a day whereby the population grows. It's just a day whereby there may be more trouble for some, more pleasures for some. It's just a day whereby your mum develops more stretch marks on her abdominal area..Right?

So now my dear readers are aware, if i wanna give you sth, i will. If don't, it's either you don't deserve it or i just don't wanna give you because i don't owe it to you or it isn't the time yet.

BTW, to YOU. Don't think that you're very clever ok? Being learnt in some skills superficially doesn't give you the liberty to get complacent and throw unconstructive comments abt others who're far more skillful than you are. I've been in this line longer than you in terms of years.

LOVE LIFE:

Well well, i'm starting to forget him...Serious. It has been a draggy 7 mths since i've held this fateful torch.
I have to carry on with life right?
Why let him obstuct my progression in my love life?
Just fucking carry on man.

Anw, i woke up with an eye infection this morning. Well, i supposed god is punishing me for oogling at guys too often. haha...anw, well, i went to see a doctor and he told me that it's because a block has been caused at my eye glands. and so, tears are unable to excrete and so it bloats up. It should subside within a few days.

Ok, i'm gonna do my maths. If not MS Ho will punish next week. haha...bb..rmb to tag

Drunk

2007-06-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

Well well... Went to PLAY and got drunk last night
Went with Ivy, Shimin and Ian.
Well, first, Ivy came to my house and she helped me with styling up. Then, we reached PLAY, and was so shocked at the crowd. It was Full house and the queue outside was unbelievable....That kinda crowd reminded me of how contestants queued up for Singapore Idol. haha...Well, we basically stood out there and waited for mroe than an hour. Then, i almost couldn't get in because of my age. So i borrowed Shimin's student pass and lied that i left my IC at home. The bouncer actually bought my story and due to his busy stuffs, he let me in...haha...
Well, that pub was SOOO packed. I love the guys there especially. They're so damn HOT !!! Omg, Ian and i was standing at one corner and there was this Hot guy in red polo tee. And he's extremely outrageously ridiculously CUTE!!! And we actually made eye contact. His stare melted my heart...OUCH....omg. haha
Well anw, Ivy really drank so much that she couldn't walk properly...

When we went to Shimin's house, Ivy drank again. She drank the red wine, and she swore to finish up the bottle. However, after drinking about one quarter she threw up....In the end, i finished up the whole bottle. Then, i drank the peach vodka.. and mostly PURE. I finished up 1/4 of the vodka, Shimin took out another bottle of Vodka and i drank 2 mugs of it. After this, i really got drunk.

Upon getting drunk, i said out all my XIN SHENG. I actually kept on calling HIS name, over and over again.
Then, what baffled Shimin was that i actually threw up in the room and caused an undesirable mess. omg...The thing is, i didn't even noe that i threw up until she told me. When i woke up in the morning, my head was damn damn painful. Ivy helped me to mop the floor..haha...And my shirt was stained with vomit. yucks. The moment i stepped into the lift, everyone pinched their nose because of the odour...haha...So i told ivy ''we better get out'' So we got out at 3rd story and took the stairs instead..

Oh i swear, i'm never gonna drink alcohol so voraciously ever again.

Went to VivoCity with Judith today. haha....We ate Ben and Jerry and pasta...lol....Then we went to Taka to look at SHUAI GE!! Aiya, she hunt for chio bu i hunt for cute guys...lol....
okok, i need to slp. tired...
rmb to tag..

SO DAMN WARM

2007-06-03T16:52:00.000+08:00

Ok first, i wanna complain...

These few days, the whether is so so so damn WARM!!! I really dying from the unbearable heat...
Well, i swear that if i have air-conditioning at home, i'm gonna switch it on to the lowest temperature for the whole day and stay in my room in the solitude of the cold air. And i swear, if i do well for O lvls, i'm gonna bug my Godma to fix a good air-con in my room.

Next, on friday, i had Chao Guo Tiao for dinner. Due to the abundant oil used forthis damn dinner, it turned out to be harmful to my damn stomach.

Upon consumption of this grease-filled-noodles, i felt so damn nauseas. I thought everything would be fine after a good sleep. So i went to sleep. Unexpectedly, i woke up to feel unexplicable uncomfort on my abdoment. So i went to BANG SAI. After that i had a bath and headed towards Pearl center to meet my mum.

On the bus, i almost got a heat stroke. i actually started to see stars and my vision was slowly sinking into darkness. Fortunately i managed to push some oxygen into my brain by using my QI GONG, and it maintained my vision...Immediately, i pressed the bell and alighted the bus. I sunk onto the bench at teh bus stop and started to get some rest.

THen, i saw a taxi approaching, so i stopped the cab and came home. I don't know if it is the taxi driver who turned the air-con too cold, which managed to satisfy my crave for a low temperature environment, or issit bcos of my ''Near heat stroke'' which made me feel satisfied at whatever low temperature.

Due to this catastrophic happening, i wasn't able to attend training last night. Well, i went today. And before gg, i actually LAO SAI twice. When i reached Koonsan(trg place), i laosai again. OMG....After trg, i laosai again. After trg i went to 7-11 and bought a cup of Slurpy...It was damn shiok. I then went to thomson plaza and got a bowl of UNappetizing Chendol.... Then upon reaching home, i laosai again. After bathing i went to sleep. After an hour's of sleep, i went to laosai again. After 30mins, i laosai again. Just now before blogging, i laosai again. Gosh....It must be because of the laosai medicine which i ate last night to get rid of all the grease which was in my stomach that caused me to feel nauseas. Anw, total 8 times of laosai-ing today...God, pls save me from the heat.

I really wonder, when human beings are unhappy with undesirable natural fetish, what do we do? For eg, my case, i'm so irritated by the obnoxious weather. I was thinking, should i go to church and tell God ''Lord, please lower the tempearture and build back the ozone layer pls. I can't tolerate the weather. IT's making me sick...''

Ouch, i need to laosai agian...bb

Blog

2007-05-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

Didn't blog for about a week. If i carry on like this, i may lose my momentum to write.
Well, i feel that i haven't been progressing well in my music. Except that i've written a few songs which the inspiration emerged from him. Nothing has happened much these few days. Went to sch, get results, go for training at Bishan and Koonsan.
Anyway, results are not really as desired.
Though i did better than the level average score, i wasn't satisfied at my aggregate for L1R4. It was like 22....Shit. Well, perhaps this really compelled and impelled me to work hard...I'm really motivated to do well for Os and prelims. I've started studying already. I'm gonna screw myself to study this holiday. The gd thing is that i've started it. hahaha....

Well, on Sunday, i went to Koonsan for sanda training....That Wilson, haha, he is so irritatingly, ridiculously, extremely CUTE can? Well, coach paired us up to train. And instead of hitting my damn gloves he actually hit my forearm which caused an ugly swell.

Talk about training, i'm so glad that Hougang training has resumed. lol... I just got back from hougang trg. Ran 2.4km and trained! The issue to gallivant about is today only me and Ivan turned up. And the both of us paired up to train. haa...Then coach told us to hit each other. So that we won't feel too strangered to getting hit when we spar, which is an inevitable case in all fights.He Hit me wor...haha...The pain was so surreal and bizarre. It was like a sweet hurt. Physically i felt hurt but emotionally the happiness aroused....haha....

Anyway, a robbery occured to my aunt this morning. While she was on her way to work this morning at 5.50am (her usual workoholic habit), she was stalked by an Indian man. Due to her inobservant character, she thought he was just an ordinary man on his way to another destination. However, despite weird happenings like the Indian man being hesitant in his steps, my aunt did not give a damn or suspect anything fishy.
Then, the catastrophe occured. The moment she rested her butt on the bench at the bus stop, the Indian man grabbed her handbag like a vice. Subsequently, her instant reaction was to scream on top of her operatic voice and get into a moment of struggling. As the small built Indian bastard didn't hv much time to spare, he decided to act in an ungentlemanly manner and gave my aunt a punch on her lower left lips. Immediately she let go of her bag. She chased the robber all the way back to the void deck of our home. By the time, she's lost sight of him. She asked a passer-by and according to her, the Indian bastard actually ran towards another block.
My aunt then came back home to tell us what has happened. The half awaken me heard the commotion and found out what has happened. Then i assisted her to make a police report, whereby 2 police officers arrived at our residence just 5 mins after we called for them.
As they were interviewing my aunt, my damned father was being a bitch, and trying to act smart but actually he's nothing but more of an encumbrance. He interrupts in the conversations, kept on emphasizing that he know who the robber was. Having a low EQ level, he pissed everyone off including me. For God's sake, my aunt was alr traumatised by what has happened and there he is making things worse by interrupting and critisizing my aunt. Honestly, he shd go and die.

Ok, i'm gonna rest now. Didn't hv much rest last night and today because of remedial lessons and my busy schedule today. Am gonna stay home tmr and study....Rmb to tag...bb

Song

2007-05-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

Well, many of you are aware that i'm a song-writing enthusiate. And i always express my feelings by song-writing. Well, i've written 2 songs over the past few mths bcos of him. I thought of just keeping it in my achieves, but, after thinking, i thought : since my purpose of writing out is to forget what i do not want to carry with me, why keep it? Might as well let it out right?
Well, i'm not done with the demo yet, But i've written the ''MUSICAL DIARY'' of the song. It's in Mandarin

Song #1 : 因为你

I-Candy, 这首歌, 是当我觉得你一直避开我之后而下笔的.
这首歌说明了我当时的情绪. 我步怪你一直以来对我那冷漠的对待. 但也凭你那残酷的排斥, 我理解了我们两个是不可能发生同志恋情的. 所以, 我常识过放弃.而我就写了这首歌.
没想到我怎么戒也戒不掉. 我戒不掉你的笑容, 戒不掉你的气息, 戒不掉你的性格, 也当然, 戒不掉我对你的爱.
虽然我知道你是不可能听到这首歌, 但我所要求的并不高. 只希望能做你的普通朋友...

Song #2: 知道

I-Candy,滓这首歌, 我再次的献给你. 我前一首歌无法让我发泄出我所不想带在身上的痛苦. 说真的, 我不舍得放弃这愚蠢的暗恋. 但是我屡次的告诉自己我们两是不可能的, 所以才会把它写成一首歌.
有很多为朋友都劝我斥掉这个妄想. 他们甚至批评你, 说你不值得这种等待.
说着说着, 我真的无法把忠言逆耳的话挂在心头. 反而, 我无意间, 渐渐的越来越爱你.
我编了词过后会把歌放在博客上.
希望在不小心的情况之下, 这优美的旋律会围绕着你, 在你耳边悄悄的告诉你我的心声...

Hmmm...Nice right? haa....
Well, i'll put up those songs after i'm done with my DEMO. hmmm

Study Study Study = Suffer Suffer Suffer

2007-05-17T11:59:00.000+08:00

Study study study is genuinely accurately perfectly a form of suffering.
Why must we study? Because we're borned in a society solely based on meritocracy.
So what about this kinda society? Because if we do not study, we hv no merit. If we've got no merit, we can't strive in society.
So why strive in society? So that we can earn enough money to lead a gd life. Why lead a gd life? To Enjoy.
But, is it really enjoyment? blah blah blah
Why am i questioning such ?

Well, MYE results was catastrophic.
Literature = 23/50 (commends by teacher : Focused too intensely on first part of qn )

English = 60/ 100 ( commends by myself : Could hv done better without being too complacent. )Scoredwell for writing but pulled down by comprehendsion.)

Chinese = 64/100 (dunno why..Paper 1 was disappointing)

Maths = 46/100 ( Didn't work hard to get gd results)

Physics = ( didn't turn up for pp2 so Combined sciences = VR)

POA = F9 ( expected)

Now i just Hope that i'll at least pass by 3 marks for SS in order to make Combined humans a PASS.

Well, this really woke me up to study. I　didn't go to sch today. Had a bad Migraine attack this morning and last night. Couldn't even get up.

Yesterday i had to attend CCA. It's really damn disappointing i must say. That Ri Xin, he's gonna take over as chairman next year and yet he's absenting himself for CCA. I mean, at least show some responsibility. I've entrusted the post to you, and since you've accepted this post, you hv to get your job done properly.

Well, at least i do not have to do prefect duties now.
In fact all graduating prefects are slacking in prefectorial board.

Okok, i've got to study now. BB　

Again?

2007-05-11T15:04:00.000+08:00

Havent been blogging because of the examinations. Seriously, time flies. IT seems like just a blink, whereby 5 mths just passed by like that. Well, it's sometimes worthy to be introspective about it, and reflect on what we've learnt and done for the past few mths. Whether we felt guilty of just swaying with time in the air, or was the past few mths productive. For me, well, it's quite fruitful. I managed to get down to study, and most importantly managed to lose my spare tire and lose 10 KG WOW!!!..Isn't worth gallivanting?

Next, regarding my prev post. Well, most of my friends felt that my idealism is surreal and it takes a fetish to fulfill it.....I understand. He may be a str8 and he's discriminative because he's being targetted...Well, whatever he wrote on his friendster was seriously hurting. I was even cogitating on how to face him when i see him. But, to my surprise, he did NOT even tinge any hatred or avoidance towards me when we saw each other. Everything seemed so normal but it's so damn explicitly obvious that he was referring to me in his friendster. I just know that he's being bemused by tt other boy, who broke the news abt my sexual oreintation towards him and due to his damn selfish and energetic mouth and hunger for attention, tt boy told my eye candy tt i actually holds a torch for him. Can't understand these people.

Next, regarding a couple . Lets name the boy=B and the gal=G

G is a retainee and is a yr older than B. G used to be in a r/s with another boy in the similar class, but broke up due to her obnoxious hunger for materialism and high demanding in being an aristocrat.
B is a thin meagre, with an innate loathe of behaving like a man in terms of Guts, attitute. Well, he always complain at the sun when we go out, and often i call him ''Ah Gua''.

Well, as i've stated, G is materialistic. And, the way she demands for materials is not on a daily basis on simple food. But, she demands expensive products which are branded and she hates coffee shops and food courts. Ok, fine coffee shops i dun like it sometimes. But the moment i mentioned gg for meals at a clean and newly furnished food court, she reacted by saying ''eee, go food court, yucks'' OMG...She says that at least she expects to eat at a fast food restaurant.

It left me contemplating, omg, wad the hell. I didn't know she had such a high demand of being an aristocrat. Is it that she's been too pampered at home or was she envious of others who lead better lives than her, that's why she always wants to enjoy what others who're better off than her engages in?

I personally feel that it is her craving for being a high class Tai Tai. FOr heaven's sake, just look at her damn face, no rich indonesians will ever want her as their Tai-Tai.
My point is, if you're not up to that standard, don't compel urself to SEEM like one. Because u will seem and one wheen u're not, and whenever u go on a spending spree, u are the one who'll burn a hole in ur pocket, thus gg into a depth of confusion, thirst of alleviation.
Even if her parents were great businessmen and her family earns a decent gd 5 figure a mth, it is her parent's money and not her's. So why be so arrogant and crave for aristocracy?
I just feel that such people hasn't tasted the bitterness of being in tremendous desperation and pain. Whereby they'll realise how lucky they were to be normal. Even if she has a dream of being in aristocracy, i feel tt she shd hv been more surreptitious about it. BECAUSE ALL THE FRIENDS ARE GOSSIPING ABOUT HER AND I"M HERE BUSY SATIRIZING ABT IT....haha....

okok, bb...

2007-05-01T23:24:00.000+08:00

It was supposed to be a day of relaxation whereby it's a public holiday and i didn't hv to report to sch. I woke up this morning with the word 'Lethagic' filling up my head. Despite the fresh morning sun shinning brightly into my room, i felt dull and a little moody. The clock was ticking away at a very fast pace. As though rushing for sth to happen. I was the only one feeling it though

Then, 7pm came. I logged onto Friendster and viewed his(the guy whom i holds a torch for) profile. I saw sth which brought me to a moment of consternation and it explicitly explains all the peculiar feelings i had for the day.
Under the space for WHO I WANT TO MEET in his friendster profile, he wrote this :

"Who I Want To Meet:
Anyone....realli... Ok, i shall explain it.anyone.
butno gays please! i am not even near your frequency!
damit. alright not to sound an ass. you can be one in your own rights.
but stay out of my life.which means FUCK off! thank you very much."

Upon reading this, all elements of emotions came invading into my fragile heart. I began to feel the cruelty of love and emotions. It left me thinking: I really Love him alot. The feeling is so strong. Our personalities do not clash, our interests are about the same. DO I give up the hope of waiting to hold ur hand, or Do i CONTINUE waiting?

Dear readers, Do i Continue Or Should i Just Give Up?

Train train train

2007-04-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

Well, nothing much has occured this week. Just a normal week, whereby i'm filled up with tremendous fatigue from sch, trainings, friends, music etc.
I have to admit the damned fact that i'm not well-prepared for Mid Yr Examinations. Except for English, Chinese, Maths, i supposed a death sentence has been set on a verdict for my other subjects.

I've been running 2.4km quite frequently. I've finally gotten rid of my double layer of irritating fatty meat around my waist.

Next, about my Eye Candy. Ok, from now on, i shall call him I-candy. haa...IT somehow tinge his name right?
Well, the sight of him never fails to emerge a smile out of my fatigue. His voice, his words, his sweetness his body his wadeva wadeva la...The feeling i hold towards him, the thoughts, the desries, is indescribable. From the day i've met him till today, he's always been on my mind vividly at every moment. Like i've said, it's all about the feelings. And the feelings don't originate from his superficialities, but his personality somehow carries a whift which is able to bemuse me, and act as a charm towards me.. Oh, i'm obsessed...haha...It's a gret thing that he doesn't know of my blog. If not i'll go madkeeping all my thoughts about him in my mind and having no space to express.

Well, i see him rather often. At least thrice a week at most 4 times. Somehow, he brightens up my day. Although it's ironical that the brightening is done in the night. haha...Coach paired us up to practice for sparring today. I got hit by him on my head. But, the pain was so sweet and contradictory. Well, it's somehow a wrong decision to pair us up, because although we hv about the same height, but i can't bear to hit him.

Well well, time to study...

Sch SuX

2007-04-23T22:25:00.000+08:00

Went for sanda trg ytd. It was a sunning Sunday morning. I actually arrived early. As i strolled towards the stadium, joggers jogged passed me. I could smell the reek of perspiration. I was 20mins early and hence had nothing much to do other than sitting down on a table, watching cute guys and falling deeper and deeper into my contemplations. Next, i found tt i was sitting a a piece of Newspaper. So i took it up, and saw an article which caught my attention which is ''Increment of Minister's pay''

Well, Upon reading this particular article, my anger grew. I was really so pissed when i saw the sentence ''....increment of all cabinet minister's pay has been risen to 160% thi syear. Hence, the PM's annual salary is $3.1m WEF this year, and this amt is 5 times the amt which US president earns''

Oh Gosh!! 3.1M per annum is a HELL LOAD OF MONEY!!!! We Citizens are working OT, planning for retirement, worrying for family expenses, personal expenses, leisure expenses, and those ministers don't even hv to worry about all those. Gosh....

Well, but there has been a report that there were many foreign subjects who work in sg actually debated on this and argued that local ministers do not deserve such aristocratic pay. However, they were strongly warned not to interfere in SG's business. One of the ministers said to the press '',,,in sg, we welcome foreigners with opened arms. But if they meddle in our affairs, they're not welcomed here'' I couldn't hold back my laughter when i saw this frivolity. It's simply frivolous. Now look, it's not a matter of interference. But it's a matter of doing the correct thing. If Foreigners go to the extend of ''interfering' Local affairs, doesn't it shows that this case is controversial and most likely debaucherous?
Many of us know this logic. But the prob is, who has got the courage to say this to the press? Wouldn't that person be charged and be litigated? haiz...What is this world becoming??

Anw, i went to sch today. My hatred for sch is multiplying rapidly as the days go by. Seriously, i hv no objection towards studies though i see it as an obligation. Well, my frustration lies in some teachers and students. I seriously don't understand why some teachers are so hungry for power. Today, my lit teacher told me to look for her after sch... Ok, i went to look for her. SHe wanted my parent's number. I asked her what for, she said ''to inform them about ur progression la'' I was stunned.. What the fuck she meant by this? She said ''u havent been handing in ur assignmetns'' I replied angrily, '' what assignments? I hand in everything which u've given me, which assignment u tell me one by one.'' She had nth to say. SO she replied ''ok, tmr show me ur file and we'll see how it goes. Maybe u were absent so u didn't hand in ur work or u didn't noe there's work'' Then i stormed off.
What the hell is wrong with her? Where the hell hv i offended her? She praised me for doing my work well few wks ago and now she's picking on me. I really don't understand her. She's such a gd teacher as in she teaches well, but why is she tinging such power hungriness? Will it give her more promotion or recognition in her damn job? NO! Gosh...

I swear, after my O levels, after taking my cert, i'm never ever gonna return to this angsty place ever again. I can't tolerate the ridiculous petulance among the sch. Be it within teachers or students.

Heck

2007-04-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

Heck!

Seriously, let me tell all of u. Don't trust ppl tt easily, as in, don't think they're ur best frens or they're ur fren so easily or early....Realy lor...Even if they are ur teachers or what....I just find that, at the end of the day, the person who really follows u and fight with u out of troubles are ur true frens....Really...Those pretetious ones will just keep their heads down and take it as though they see nth....SO many of such shit ard...

Anw, i'm truely plagued by the fatigued of sch environment. I seriously need a break. But this isn't the right time. MYE is just in a week's time and i'm not well-prepared.

Why has the world become like this, whereby it makes our lives be a series of probs and suffering scenarios? When we're young, we drag ourselves to sch to study. AFter studying for about 20yrs, we go out to work. At work, we slave, we mix with funny ppl etc etc. After a certain age, we need to contemplate and arrange for our retirement. After retiring, our bodies get attacked by undesirable diseases and uncomfortable issues. Up till the day we meet God.

I dunno why am i feeling this way...Stupid exams are to blame...arhhhh.....

I uphold a very stubborn personality. I always don't admit tt i'm wrong...Well, doesn't tt seem to shine a light of career? A lawyer? haa...too bad my interest is not there at this point of time....But i've set my mind, not to be a sch teacher... I seriously pity some teachers u noe...It seems tt scolding students is their forte and not teaching....Well, or they prefer to teach in a scolding tone? Why not say, students deserve tt scolding? But, has scolding been effective? How effective can it be on those notorious teenagers who don't give a shit about their lives anymore? ANd so what does this show about those teachers who always scold and scold to no avail? > it shows that they're just merely showing wraths and not portraying tinge of teachings...

I've already prepared myself mentally...Don't be too affected by the potential catastrophic results of MYE....Dammit...I better go bathe and study....

Love One

2007-04-15T00:01:00.000+08:00

'Story 3' The announcer of the lift went. The door of the lift divided itself into half and i walked towards the mult-purpose hall for sanda trg.
As i got closer to the door, my footsteps decelerated. As i was about to open the door, xiao qing opened it from inside. She greeted me with a vivid smile and i remunerated with a 'Hi'. The following sight of my dear eye candy bought me to smile inevitably. The flourocent light reigned his half-naked body, showing him putting on a shirt.
These days, i evade from greeting him. Ever since he learnt tt i actually holds a torch for him, he's been avoiding me, to deter from getting influenced, or who knows, adhering to some discriminative mindset.

Well, i can't compel a person to remove tt piece of mindset which perhaps he adheres to. I'm not so imperative about it. Well, it is how he thinks. And what he thinks may not be what is reality and what WILL happen. Well, perhaps he thinks tt i'm a typical gay, who shows obnoxious intimacy towards their ideal guys and irritate them.. BUt sry, i'm not that kinda person. Well, i must admit that there's an abundance number of gays behaving like this. But i'm not. I respect myself and furthermore, he's the person whom i holds a torch for so all the mroe i will show him respect.
I see him quite frequently nowadays. One thing, i'm quite worried for him. He's in ITE Yr 2 currently and he's harbouring hopes to be able to get a diploma in Polytechnic. Well, that depends on whether he's able to score well academically this year and attain his goals. Now the problem here is, he trains sanda so frequently, that i doubt he accentuates his time for his studies. Seriously, if a person wants simultaenuous achievements, he/she hv to work very hard, rest very little and so on. But i don't see a tinge of that in him...I hope that my deduction is wrong, as in well, i do not know him very very well, but i really hope that my deduction is wrong bcos if he doesn't make it to poly nx year he hv to serve NS...shit..

Next, i've really been training sanda very hard...I go for extra trainings on weekdays and i really put in upmost efforts. Even the instructor praised my dedication.
Although i train veyr frequently, but i make sure that i don't forget that i hv a challenging examination to fight, which is the annual National Examination, Cambridge Ordinary Level( O lvels). I study in the afternoon for at least 2 hrs on weekdays when i hv sanda trg at night, and on the way to the trg ground, i make sure i bring something along with me so i tt i do not waste my time on the long journey and make use of the time to read and revise instead of day-dreaming on the bus(which many ppl doess), which is ineffective and unproductive. The best thing to bring along is either Literature or SS. If you would ask me, i would prefer to bring along my Literature Novel Text. Firstly, i wouldn't look weird. Secondly, i don't really hv to write alot(just need to take down notes), unlike maths or sciences, where i hv to practice by writing.

Yesterday, i was really mad with WJ. I seriously feel that his irresponsibility, his fatuities, his idiosyncrasies is already irrev0cable. On thursday he had wushu comp. So after the comp, he went back to sch to put his things back to CCA room. Then, he bought the Keys of the cca rm home.
The next day, we have trg and he did not bring the keys. He said tt he forgot to return them to the office and forgot to bring them to sch. What the fuck is this? He knew tt there's training and he can FORGET to bring the keys. FYI, this kinda absurd issues about him is not new. And everytime it happens, it has got an impact on me, as in, i didn't cause it to happen, but somehow the consequences will fall a little on me. For eg, the above mentioned case. Junirs will think tt i refuse to open the rm and will start gossiping. I can't possibly tell every single one of them what happened everytime such nonsensical stuffs happen. So it left me contemplating, is WJ doing such things on purpose?

Then, a past incident struck my mind.

SO my thought process went : 2 yrs ago, i was sent by my CCA for Leadership training camp. WJ was jealous of not getting sent as tt was the final year whereby he could get a chance to go. From then onwards, he put on a facade. He schemed, plot, had evil thoughts. But too bad, he's too stupid for all those. He's too blur. That's why his plots never went into the route of being successful. Pathetic. His jealousy was further added when i was appointed as the chairman of CCA. He pretended that he didn't want any leadership post during the commitee-appointing meeting. But pls, reverse psychology only work on kids. He thinks that such actions will fool the teacher and fool everyone? No way!. That's why i condemn him as a bemused fool with idiosyncrasies.

Okok, i'm tired and got to slp...

DOnt' forget to tag me...

wa lao

2007-04-09T20:56:00.000+08:00

Well, last week was a normal week, except that Good Friday really bought me with tremendous happiness because we need not report to sch on friday...haha...

I went for sanda training on saturday...Well, it was a normal training session...On sunday, i also had sanda training...We met coach at Hougang stadium and went to Koonsan....There we trained.. The moment i stepped into the place, a kinda feeling struck me.....I felt slightly teleported back to time whereby we have to offer joss sticks to ancestors of the clan...haha....Well, the way that place was being arranged seriously bought about the mood of a martial art clan, whereby they had flags, graffitis and stuffs. I think that's good you know..Well, it's a way of impelling trainees to train harder...lol...
Training at Koonsan led by Coach was seriously tedious. We practiced and trained for 2hrs without much rest. After that, we all ran the slope of the carpark 6 times...After which, everyone was filled with great fatigue whereby Ivan almost fainted in the Van....

Now Now, complaining time.....I seriously dislike the sch's wushu instructor..NOT the sanda one...But the wushu instructor of my sch...He's seriously obnoxiously cunning and crazy. TOday, it was Inter-sch wushu comp.. I was there.. But i didn't take part. He said he'd let me take part in the broad sword catogory but he didn't in the end. Then, i saw the Koonsan shifu, jiawei. He was talking to my sch's wushu instructor Mr Lee...Then he didn't noe Mr lee is my wushu instructor. Then Mr Lee told him about me, he pointed at me saying to him ''this guy, also my student, he's very tall'' Then I tried to wink at Jiawei, but i had to wait for Mr Lee to turn away to evade from letting him see it. But by the time i got the chance to give a wink to Jiawei to act as though he doesn't noe me, it was too late... Jiawei had accidently said ''oh, he does sanda at koonsan mah'' Then, Mr lee gave me that look...Then, he told Jiawei, ''You know ah, i didn't let him take part in this competition bcos .....( i walked away)...'' I seriously can't tolerate such idiosyncrasy....It simply irks me tremendously. It's like, i've already quit his CC long ago just to devoid being dominated by him. But he still wants to meddle in my affairs for what?
He doesn't like his students to join other martial art clubs, well, fair enough, give his students the sufficient space to express and perform, and treat everyone equally. But he's biased u noe...If he doesn't adhere to these Norms, what right has he got to tie us down? Esp i'm only his student in sch. But sad to say, he doesn't really teach me these days. Heck, i'm gonna carry on training sanda no matter what...I'm not gonna let him thwart my months of hard work which i've been putting in and sacrificed.

Pissed....

Next, haha, i saw my eye candy at the comp today...lol...He's SSSOOOOOOOOO CCUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehe...I'm falling deeper and deeper in love with him...OMG!!! He's so sweet and so CUUTE!!!!!!My lollipop..haha.....

Okok, it's late now, i've got to do some read up and then go to sleep. I have Literature Excursion tmr...

bb

Muay Thai

2007-04-02T10:48:00.000+08:00

On saturday, i went to watch the annual international muay thai competition held at Jurong stadium. Well, we arrived at 3pm and got so pissed when we learnt that the show actually starts at 7pm...-_-...SO we sat there and waited for the show to start. Well, but at least we got free tic..haa

I measured my weight yesterday. TO my horror, i only lost a pathetic amount of 1kg....Shit....After some analysis, i realised why this happened....Firstly, i've been indulging on fast food very often for the past 2 weeks. I didn't know that fast food is so bloody metophorically virulent. Secondly, i stopped drinking the Japenese Green Tea. That's why i only lost 1KG despite carrying out my usual exercise regime every night.
Fine, i'm going to stop eating fast food from today, and i'll be buying bottles of Japanese Green Tea; for the sake of losing weight.

Next, i wanna talk about an article which i came across ytd on the SUNDAY TIMES. It was about THE ARENA. THE ARENA is a TV programme whereby it is a competition which involves debating. This competition is opened to all secondary schs, and most of the top schs in sg took part(excluding ftpss) . It was sacastically claimed and proven that students from international schs are better than local sch students when it comes to debating. Well, debating is all about a person's mind. Whether he/she is able to think with a flexible mind. Of cos, he/she has to be very well read. But what's the point of being well read when you just adhere to the rules and don't think out of the box?
In the article, some people were interviewed. They shared the same sentiments of why singaporean students actually lost in debates. A teacher in an international sch said ''......in foreign schs, students are encouraged to challenge their teachers to a certain extend, wheareas in singapore, it is marked as disrespect to do so...'' Omg, how much more can i agree with this? Many ppl are discussing thsi issue about the Singapore education system being too old-fashioned and literary dead. That's why since young, local students are being brought up in a culture whereby they have to abide by everything, and that's why Singapore is low in production of originality, and highly in need of foreign talents.
Schs in Singapore often preach that people are the only resources which the country has, and therefore education is important. But what's the use of having a prolific certificate, but the cert holder is actually a mind-dead person who only follows the crowd and has got no creativity? Thus, the cert turns pseudo, isn't it?

This reminds me of an incident which happened to me in sch last year. Whereby i challenged a sch staff who tried to abuse her authority on me. Well, it was a horrendous incident and i do not wish to talk about it here..All i know is, after challenging her, she dared not attempt to bully me anymore.

Ok, i didn't go to sch today. Well, i hv a bit of sore throat la. But i hv to study later in order to remunerate for my absence for today's lessons..

Next, i wanna talk about PE lessons. To add on with what i said in my earlier paragraph, the literary dead style of Singapore's education system, this does not exclude PE lessons. In singapore, PE lessons remains the same as 40 years ago. Push ups, sit ups, 2.4km, shuttle run, games, etc etc....Why can't they come up with something new? Esp long distant running. Aren't they aware that running actually weakens a person? gosh.
In fact, after term 2, PE lessons shd be exempted for graduating students, and it shd be substituted with academic-related lessons. Studies shd be our top priority now.

On friday, it was speech day. I realised tt the prefect mistress kept on staring at me. Well, i know, she must be thinking why didn't i report for duty. But the head-prefect didn't even ask me to report for duty, does she expect me to go to her and volunteer? Pls, if i do this shows that i am trying too hard to prove my capabilities. I dont' need and i dont want..I will never ever prove my capabilities by doing prefectorial duties whereby those duties are literally sai gang (shit jobs).
So i reported to sch as a student audience instead. Then, the moment i sat down among the audience, i began contemplating. Then again, i saw that the surrounding people were actually my classmates and the joy that they hv.
And so my thought process went : I've been a prefect, doing duties at events and during every morning's assembly. It has been 3 yrs ever since i last became an audience in sch, where i can sit down and just simply wait for things to start, and go back to class then start studying. I began to realise that this is actually a pleasure, i can just simply don't care about event progressions and stuffs(esp in a budget sch which they are not willing to sacrifice).
Therefore i felt that i was very foolish to be a prefect. At the end of the day, it is the L1R4 points which follows me. Although it's from a dead system, but at least we can pursue our tertiary life with it and we can carry on with life. But with those few cca points of being a prefect, does it help me at all? Yes, perhaps a little. But overall, academical results are the more important ones.

The prefect mistress always preach that studies shd be our top prior. But she is contradicting herself. She's still throwing jobs to graduating students and she doesn't care about our studies at all nowadays. haiz...

Okok, enough, i've got to study already...

bb

Contemplating

2007-03-29T20:09:00.000+08:00

These few days was alright for me. Studied everynight, exercised and stuffs. I'm so jealous of Alexis....Slimmed down so much....

Anyway, regarding my CCA, i'm really so pissed off with some of the members. gosh....They're very irresponsible despite me reminding them over and over again.. They always have the bad habit of bringing weapons up to the hall, and then not wanting to return them to the CCA room after using it. They're simply lazy...Especially those gals.....Can't stand them....There used to be a norm that gals are more matured than boys by 2 yrs...But from what i see, this saying is slowly becoming not that true already...Perhaps only physically the gals mature faster but mentally, alot of them are still not progressing that fast.

Yesterday, the head-prefect urged me to be punctual for today's morning role call. But i refused to. In fact, i reached sch early with Natasha and both of us didn't even bother to go for the role call. I find it unproductive...really...No use anymore....I don't mind spending time on CCA and other stuffs, but for things which makes me spend time on but i don't receive any fair share of returns, i'll not continue to work on it..To me, that's wasting time. I don't even do recess duties nowadays. Why must i succumb to all these unproductive duties? What do i gain? In fact, i have more important things to attend to, Like gg to my teachers during recess to ask questions and stuffs. And i really do it...

During english period today, Mrs Tan relieved my class. She was telling me ''.....don't argue for the sake of doing so.....i see that sometimes u are just inviting troubles for yourself....'' I mean, she didn't say it sarcastically. But she said it as in in a tone whereby she wants me to know what she thinks. I respect her, because she's one of the few teachers who really knows how to teach, and is NOT a hypocritical bitch...But, why is she saying such things to me? I don't understand....Argue for the sake of arguing? I don't...I argue to fight for my rights. I argue only when ppl argue with me first.. And i know, there're alot of gossips abt me among the teachers. Saying that i' not role-modelling as a prefect this and that...Pls, i'm sick and tired of these bullshit....I can't stand the virulent tongue of some teachers either...

Many of them are simply hungry for power...

One example, there's this HOD, whereby one day she scrutinized me for wearing a white belt. And accused me of not upholding as a role-model and not adhering to sch rules. It's such a trival matter..Why must she make a mountain out of a molehill? Few days ago, after recess, my friends and i were climbing up the stairs. And she was there shouting at students to hurry up to their classes and when she saw a student using his mobile phone while walking to his class, she ordered him to accelerate and threatened to confiscate his HP...Is she so desperately in need of power? Why does she yearn for such satisfaction? Then, when we walked pass her, we took our time and strolled. Then we started bursting into laughter when Alexis started making a joke out of her. But she dared not scold us, she just merely stared at us and gave that LL face. I really wonder, does scolding ppl gives her happiness? Why does she seemed as though she's trying to prove to ppl that she's capable of commanding respect and control despite already being a HOD? OMG.....Btw, students obey her because she's a sch staff...Not because they really respect her. If she ever tries to dominate me outside sch, i'll just tell her ''fuck off u punani ''

Anw, i went for music lesson just now. And i got scolded by my music mentor because i didn't do my homework properly...arhhhh....ok, she meant well for me too...

Ok, i'm gg to do my work now, OMG, it's alr 830pm and i havent touched my books today...

BB

What?

2007-03-25T15:33:00.000+08:00

I found that i've really been thinking and thinking alot these days. Well, at least i think. Unlike some people who simply make decisions upon non-sequitur analysis.

In my sch, there're quite a number of ah lians. Seriously i really don't like them..Should it be classified as a discrimination? i just have a stereotypical loathe towards their attitute. They are simply immatured and inconsiderate. They cut queues, raise their voices over trival matters, insert words of profanity at every punctuation of their sentences, behave as though the world owes them a living...I seriously don't understand how on earth these bitches manage to be borned with such thick skin. They think that by joining gangs led by 'veteran streetpunksters'' brings them to success in life. But how wrong are they? After comparing reality and their wilful thinking, i started to find their mindset immatured and frivolous. They're just wasting their prime years away. At this age, they should be accentuating more to studies and engaging in more appropriate activities. Although i patronise gay clubs sometimes, but at least i strive in my priorities and do my best to excel eg, music and studies.
I'm sure my blog readers are aware of how much i hate my present secondary sch. I've already promised myself to work extra hard for the next few months in order to do well for O levels and never ever return to this sch ever again for good.

Next, i seriously don't understand some sch teachers. Basically, alot of them goes to school everyday and scold students from 7am in the morning to sometimes even having to call up their homes in the night. Imagine, from sunrise to sunset, they will not fail to scold ppl. I really don't understand, does being reprimandative helps them and bring them more joy?

Ok, enough of satirizing these controversial topics.

I've been on a daily- exercising programme. This morning, my waist finally touched the 34th inch range...YAY!!...In no time, it shall drop to 32 and then 30...haa...I'm so happy...I'll be gg to the gym next Sunday to take my weight. Hopefully it goes down more...lol...
My ideal weight is 75 to 80kg. My weight is 88Kg now....I need another 3 weeks to be able to drop to 80kg....
I can do it....haahaa......

Ok, i'm gonna study now...bb

Sch sux

2007-03-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

Honestly, i haven't been enjoying secondary sch life.. If you'd ask me, i would tel you that being a prefect is my greatest regret in my secondary sch life. It affected my studies, forced me to make enemies just because i had to adhere to my duties.
I don't think i have to elaborate and tell more about my dissatisfaction of how i was being mistreatted and stuffs. My music mentor always tells me that when somebody does sth bad, karma(retribution) will befall on them someday. And it's always very true...I need not think too hard for a tremendous revenge on those idiotic and hypocritical teachers in sch. I just got to be firm enough to let them know that i'm no pushover. Unless they step on my tail, i won't harm them. If they dare to bully me, i make sure i bite back. No for the sake of revenge, but for the sake of waking them up.

I just feel that i've already reached a stage whereby i can no longer tolerate being unreasonably dominated as a kid anymore..I'm already gg into my late teens and i hv my own thoughts and sentiments. God created an analytical brain and emotional brain cells for me, so i hv the right to choose what i wanna do...So long as it's not greatly debaucherous, i have not much worries.

On wednesday, Mr Loh, a teacher in my sch told me to cut my hair by friday(tmr) if not he'll want my tie...I laughed it off... I haven't cut it...Well, what is going to happen tmr has already been planned by me...I'll fill u guys in tmr night regarding this.

I went for music lesson just now. My teacher talked to me about some life morales and stuffs. She told me this ''....get away from a place where ppl don't appreciate your positivities. Get your business done and don't go back again. Wheras, continue to treat ppl well with ur EQ where those people acknowledges, gain and reciprocates to your kindness.'' Well, of course tt place where i should get away from is of course my sec sch which is FTPSS...When i heard that, i agreed with it vehemently. At that time, i felt a little sense of alleviation and lifting. Perhaps tt sentence comforts me and encouraged me to continue to be a nice guy towards ppl who appreciates because there're still ppl who appreciates...haa...I must really thk my music mentor for teaching me those morales and reminding me all these while....

Next, regarding my sexual life..Well, after 2 weeks of trial, we found tt we can't be together..DOn't ask why we broke up ok? He's cute he's sweet, he found me nice and wadeva arhhh....

Next, i would like to comment on myself for working hard in losing weight and getting fit for the past one month,...And i've lost about 6KG..haa...Well, i hv another about 9KG to shed off..haa, i will continue to work hard...
I would also like to comment myself for being able to start doing work! haa..I've finally managed to get down to studies and start mugging..lol...U all know how much i hate my sec sch....And i swear, i'm gonna do well for O levels this year, and i'm never ever gonna go back to my sec sch ever again...I'll just get the contact numbers of those teachers who've really taught me well and made me feel touched. hehe....

Holidays

2007-03-18T12:37:00.000+08:00

Finally it's the end of term 1....I'm very happy that time actually passed in such a high speed...Honestly, i didn't study very hard last term, so i'm gonna give my best this coming term2....
However, my plan seems to get thwarted by this home room system..shit....For the past few days, many of my friends have been bitching about the school and the new system which will be implemented next term....Some of my friend's parents will be writing into the MOE also...Well, i'm not saying that home room system is a ridiculous idea...BUT, IT IS A RIDICULOUS IDEA TO IMPLEMENT IT ON FTPSS!!!!

I just feel that what the principal said and felt was simply non-sequitur. She claimed ''we're bound to have challenges when we implement the new system, so pls give the sch 3 weeks to settle everything'' How can she be so sure that she can tackle the probs without making necessary preparations? How can she expect students to bring their bags up and down the school and to the canteen during recess and stuffs. All students have bags. And our bags need space to ''sit'' also...Without bags, the canteen is already so crowded. The school has already been trying to solve the problem of a ''too crowded canteen'' for years. So far, not much has been done for an alleviation, and now, they are simply adding fuel to a flame.

I have too many criticisms for the school's attitude and decisions. Many teachers are against this idea btw...Can u imagine, teachers are already so stressed up, and how can the principal expect teachers to clean their room, decorate it...And u noe, teachers are also human beings..They're also working adults. As a working adult, they will tinge to be competitive.. They'll wanto decorate their rooms better than their colleagues, they will also feel pressurized because students always compare teachers' abilities....Doesn't it seem to add molten lead to the teacher's stress?

I came across an article, which says '' ......the number of secondary sch teachers gg for psychaitrict treatment has been increasing on a rapid gradient.....'' I mean, schools should be reflecting on themselves...Esp the managements, have they been more thoughtful that teachers also hv families and hv to spend time with their families?..If the teacher him/herself goes into depression mode, it not only afffects that particular teacher, but also affects the whole family...Has the school ever thought of all these? Well, i don't know...But if the sch has, why has all these problems not seemed to have been treated with appropriately?

Next, the school always make non-substantial statements. WHenever the principal makes any plans, she always says ''Yes, we can do it, we can'' It's so easy to say it...SO easy to pronounce...But the result is always half the finess..WHy? Simply beacuse :

1) No proper preparations made
2) Didn't prepare to tackle possible problems.
3) Unwilling to sacrifice
4) Decisions and ways of carrying out not effective and convincing

All these are mainly the source of problems and reasons why the sch always fail....
In the end, when they fail they become very very irreceptive to feedbacks and reflections. they will blame the students by saying ''students didn't coorperate'' and start giving frivolous excuses to cover up their incapabilities.

By the way, i am now ''breaking the sch rule'' by ''spoiling the sch's image'' There's a new rule which the sch implemented which is ''no engaging in activities which spoils the sch's image'' Well, now i'm Satirizing the sch...Go ahead and send me for detention la....Come on...I make sure you never get to do it your way...The disciplinary commitee only knows how to abuse their authority and make use of their ''power'' to satisfy their power hungry-ness....

Especially a teacher by the name of Mr Sim. He always screams at students. Esp sec 1 and 2s. But when it comes to upper sec students, he oni dare to shout at express students. He don't dare to scream at those gangsters...When gangsters give him probs, his balls shrink to the size of a peanut....

Well anyway, i went for sanda training last night....And i hurt my back whilst training...ahhh..Did some sparring with Wilson..haa...he's so cute....okok....
I pen off here...Rmb to tag me, and giv eme commends about my idiotic sch...

bb

Results

2007-03-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

Over the week, i got back all my examination results...Well, basically, i passed all the subjects....Well, it's very low expected that i would actually pass all, despite being inconsistent in my daily work for this term. I scored quite well for english and combined sciences...haa....For maths, i almost fail....Also, i passed literature...Well, i don't know if it is because i've really improved or is it mrs maraan who lowered her expectations....
I must say that, literature really helped me alot...Thks to Mrs Maraan with her effective teaching....Although many people hate her attitude, but she's really good at teaching.. Things which are being taught in literature are mostly directly related to true life....We're taught a wide range of techniques to tackle and handle questions..And these questions are mostly real-life related....And the wide range of knowledge to tackling helps us not to make our use hackneyed criticisms and methods...

On Wednesday, my bf came over to my hse. He stayed overnight....I was so glad that he did so..hehe...And of cos, we did some naughty things which i don't hv to elaborate more on it..lol.....

Next, i'm gg to satirize about my sec sch..On thursday was Sports Carnival....So i had to go and attend and leave my bf at home until i come home.,..I was supposed to be back home by 11am to send my bf to sch at NTU...But, my initial plan was thwarted by what the school did....
Ok, basically, alot of time was wasted....Things like judging, arranging competitors and so on...I didn't even want to attend this banal event...Seriously, i only went there because i wanted to spend time with my classmates, and treasure the moment with them....But it was disappointing that the atmosphere has vanished mysteriously.....At the end of the event, the discipline masters refused to let us go...Esp kavitha and raj...Indian bastards....They wanted us to pick up all litters..Well, fair enough, we all did...But after that, they are all immersed in their own conversation, and chose to make us stay put to blend and satisfy their desires and laziness....The school is simply fucked up.....

Friday was a hectic day for me....I had normal lesson till 12pm, chinese remedial till 2pm, CCA till 4pm...By the time i finished everything, it was already 5pm....Then, i had to rush home, bathe, and rush down to Bukit Panjang to meet my friend for music session till 11pm..Then aftertt, i went to meet my bf at Tanjong pajar and headed to Taboo...Well, i enjoyed myself at Taboo.,..Although i didn't dance, but i enjoyed the music and the ppl...Espcially holding my bf closely and intimating....I actually saw 2 familiar faces at Taboo,...One of them is a sch teacher(i shall not reveal who, in order to protect him/her as to respect his/her privacy), and i also saw one of MTS's stage director...haa....I drank quite alot....While my bf was dancing, i sat down at the bar counter and enjoyed my drink...Then this caucacian man came over and approached me..I knew he was aiming me for a one night stand...As the music was at a very high volume, we couldn't realli hear each other speaking...So this man, he bent down to my face and started touching my body while trying to hear me...lol...The funny thing is, while we were talking, my bf came back....And i held his hand and hugged him...The moment tt caucacian man found out that i am attached, he just walked away by saying he's gonna dance..haha....

Went for sanda training just now...Well, my instructor asked me to take part in Augest's competition...So from now onwards training would be more tedious...I actually didn't stop exercising for 1.5hrs..I didn't even rst after the warm-up..After that, i went to the toilet and gulped down water like a camel.....Then i went to meet JianFang, Alexis and Denise and went to play pool....

Well, this weekend filled me with fun and tremendous thrill...haa....Friday was Taboo, just now was pool, and tmr shall be gg to either kbox or Music cafe with my frens..

Okok, i'm gg to bed now..So tired...

haiz

2007-03-04T20:37:00.000+08:00

First, i would wanna say that Common test wasn't very well done...Well, i thought i was able to score well...But even biology was not very gd...So i've decided and told myself, that i will accentuate studies from the holidays onwards. I seriously can't afford to neglect my studies anymore...

Next, my grandmother has been warded to tan tock seng again, and i'm always alone in the day these days..Well, bored at the same time good for me...I mean, i'm not rejoicing that she gets admitted into the hospital, but i've always yearned for a quiet home whereby i can do my own things without much of a disturbance....Of course, problems and troubles which arise are inevitable.....

Just now, while i was at home i was quite disturbed by a bunch of indian youths who were creating a din at my void decK...So sickening...It weren't the 1st time which they've did such a thing...They were simply screaming, hauling words of profanities, and disturbing the public peace...They sounded as though they were having a fight...When i went down to take a look, i was shocked to take in what i actually saw...2 of the indian freaks actually took off their tops and jumped from the void deck's table....They were climbing on top of each other, playing a fool, creating a nuisence etc etc....omg...After seeing that, i immediately went to the public phone at the same block, dialled 999 and made a police report.....

The conversation with the cute policeman went like this:

Policeman:Hello Hello
KR: Hi erm
Policeman: Hihi hello hello
Kr: Yes erm, i would like to make a report
Policeman: Ok, regarding what
KR: There's a bunch of indian teenagers creating a din at the void deck of Blk ** , **** Road(not gonna post up here where i live)
Policeman: Ok, may i know what din are they creating?
KR: They are screaming, they stripped off their tops, and creating a nuisence.
Policeman: Ok, may i have your contact number and name please?
KR: I'm sorry, i would like to remain anonymous
Policeman: Ok, thk u sir, i will send a police car down asap
KR: Thk U, byebye
Well, i'm quite of a racist....Seriously, i don't know why, but personally, towards malays and indians, it's either i am on good terms with them or i seriously dislike them....

After making the call, i headed towards the gym to look for auntie mary..haa..Btw, auntie mary is my first and foremost gymnastical teacher when i start gym..lol...I helped her close up the gym, and measured my weight...The weighing machine showed that i actually lost 3KG within 14 days!! hahahaha.....I was so so so happy...lol....Hard work paid off....lol....I've been doing skipping on the skipping rope for the past 2 weeks everynight without fail...I'm not gg to even rest tonight...I'm gonna skip for 30mins again later...2 weeks later, i expect to lose...hehehe....My desired weight is 80KG...Which is 12 KG away...Btw, i'm standing at 1.85m...So i don't really look fat...But i am fat...grr....

Well, tmr is monday and have to go back to sch...haiz..I hate it....There's PE lesson tmr...For some reason i just hate PE lessons.....Or rather, i simply hate the sch's system....

Next, i wanna talk about a new system which my sch has decided to execute with effect from next term...Which is, giving every teacher a classroom, instead of giving classes to own a classrm.....Which means, at every period interval, instead of teachers moving to and fro the classes, the whole sch of students will be moving AT THE SAME TIME! WTFFF!!!! When asked what are the reasons for this, the management said ''so tt teachers don't hv to move up and down, and so tt teachers can decorate the classrms the way they want, so that students will go into a classrm which has got the feeling of that particular subject''...This is simply ridiculous....Firstly, having teachers to move from class to class is much more convenient than 1000 students moving...The students are so ill-ed disciplined....They will take their time to travel, and when they bumb into their friends along the way, they will tend to chit chat and waste time...By the time the teacher gets to settle the classes down, not much time is left for proper lesson....For those who don't wanna study, this may not affect them much, but for ppl like me, who wants to study, how can they do duch a thing? It thwarts my plan to get gd results.....secondly, the sch always preach students to put their studies as their top priority, and this obviously and simply hinders us to do so....Doesn't such actions of the sch tinge a contradiction?
There are schools which are successful in this system...But that's because they have efficient and productive staffs, and their school's management are willing to sacrifice and spend money to invest in this plan to assure success...But in my school's cse, the management is always unwilling to fork out money and sacrifices..Just because this is a new system in the secondary sch system, the sch management thinks that if they succeed they're gg to earn a reputation in singapore...my arse.....2 years ago, my school installed bio-metrics as an attendance taking system....They claimed proudly that our sch is the first sch which had such a system...Oh, how ''IMPRESSED'' was i by the results....After a few weeks of trial, it failed...Nobody asked anyone why...But it was only recently when i found out the reason of failure....Bio-metrical system for 1000 over students requires a gd and efficient computing speed....The school simply used a lousy pentium 3 laptop to operate this...Furthermore, this laptop is not totally dedicated for the bio-metrical system...It was also used for other purposes....Oh My Goodness...And because of that, every morning the attendance taking goes hay wire and the laptop goes faulty....The sch management simply refuses to get a better computer for this....So the few thousand dollars spent on building the bio metrics went down the drain....

Always, when the school makes changes or create new systems, they never look and think of ways to alleviate the obviously-will-happen problems when executing it.....Yes, i admit there'lll be a gd reason why the school does certain things.But have they ever looked at the problematic side? They don't care much...When such problems arise upon executions of plans, the tend to land in a lost and get confused,.....Because they didn't plan properly on how to solve the problems beforehand...So when problems arises, the good side of such plans can't be enjoyed,....So the one and only way of alleviation is to cancel the whole plan...Like what happened to the Bio-metrical attendance taking sysyem....

The sch always say things like ' i'm sure we can do it, i'm sure'' ''Yes we can do it, we can'' ''We must have confidence, we must'' But please, it's easy to say...But actually, they're in self-denial.....Pls, how sure are u when u havent had the experience in doing it? How can you be confident when u do not prepare yourself for the problems? It's just like gg into a battle field unarmed.. How can u be sure that u can attack the enemy and be victorious, and how can u be confident that u can bring abt victory?

This is simply a stupid school....So unrealistically idealistic...Stupid...Dumb....

Exams Exams Exams

2007-02-28T23:30:00.001+08:00

This is the 9th week of the term, which is also the week for the Common Test...Frankly speaking, i wasn't well armed for this round's test....I couldn't even catch the momentum to study last week despite the tests being round the corner....Furthermore, i haven't been really very consistent and conscientious in my daily work either.....

On monday was english paper, well it was on composition,..Out of 5 questions, i chose to do ''Many students believe that schools have too many school rules, does your sch have too many rules? Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?'' This is an expository essay....Well, for those who know me well enough, you will know that this aspect of writing is my forte....Basically because i'm good and efficient at complaining, expressing of personal perspection etc.... My teacher said that i did quite well for it and that i used a wide range of vocabularies which was good...Actually, i feel that being effective in expository writing is not that difficult....Firstly, we have to have our own mindsets....We have to have clear stands, and we have to have responses towards things which occurs around us in our daily lives......Perhaps most people do not realise this at this age, but expository and personal perspectives are very important in all walks of life....
Secondly, in expository writing, we have to know how to express our stands and views in a way that it carries the message across to the reader and it takes effect on the reader..This is a very technical thing....The way to excel in this is to read the newspaper forum more frequently.....Look at what people say and how they phrase they essays...Also, the choice of words used...After reading and writing for some time, the feeling and momentum will just come naturally....So most probably i'll be focusing on expository...

On tuesday it was E-maths test....I must say that i really felt relieved when i saw the level of lenience and easiness the teacher set for that paper...All along, i'm very weak at maths....It's not surprising that i always fail maths and POA.....Well, i have confident that i'll be able to pass this time's Maths CT...

Today, it was combined science....For physics, my failure is confirmed...Well, failure this time round is inevitable because honestly i didn't prepare myself well enough for physics..In fact i didn't really study for physics...As for Bio, my class test results for bio was rather catastrophic...There was an obvious tremendous deterioration in my biology..However, i managed to do a last minute buck up and every thing about bio flashed back to my mind...Thankfully, bio was not very very difficult today, and i may even score full marks for it...hahahaha....

Tmr will be chinese paper...Hopefullly it'll be easy...lol....

Friday shall be combined humanities paper...I'm confident for Literature but SS for me is a little dangerous...haaa.....

Anyway, well, this week is not very intensed..I get to come home at 2pm...CCAs and remedials are exempted....How i wish it'll only resume in term 2...haiz...I'm so stressed..I seriously hope that no more nonsense will arise from CCA....Esp from the sec5s....Some ppl are just so scheming...He thinks that he's really so good at plotting against others but actually he's unaware that he's living in the world of his own and if he carries this mentality to the tertiary life and out to working society, he will end up being a nobody in future....If you're a smart person and u plot, and u're able to survive and u want to survive and succed this way, go ahead....But if u're a dumbo, blur squid and u wanna plot, then fat hope..People can see through you easily....How do you plot against a person when you don't even know how to put on a proper facade..hai....That pathetic ass is simply hopeless....And i won't be surprised if he remains like this...From what he does, his attitute towards life, i can see that that mentality of his is irrevocable...

Anyway, i gotto pen off now, it's late...

Exams Exams Exams

2007-02-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

today

2007-02-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

Well, today was rather a typical day....
I　ｍａｎａｇｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｇｅｔ　Mdm Tan to arrange for a truce btw Benjamin and I...View my previous post to find out what actually happened....AT first, he was rather hostile towards me...But i managed to overturn the situation..Iｍｅａｎ，　it's all about how you approach things....He claims that the reason why he showed wrath and attitude towards me was because i delay cca's dismissal time and i touch his male frens.....I don't know if what he said was true, but if it wasn't, he's in the lost..Firstly, i asked him why he treating me liek that, so he said bcos of all the above reasons..And i asked, ''if i promise u not to do all those things can u promise me not to give me attitude?'' He promised in front of Mdm Tan...SO if he have other loathes or unhappiness towards me and refused to say, and he still gives me attitude problems, then i'm innocent le...It's not i don't wanna find out, now if that happens he is the one who's at fault....Anyway, i just wanna say, i hope that tis year can just pass quickly and let me leave...I seriously hate some ppl who are so hypocritical and scheming..They think they're so clever and smart...But actually, what they are doing is unproductive, childish, inefficient, and debaucherous...I always belived in retribution, so if tt person( i dun wanna mention names) treats me like that, one day someone will do it back to him....IT's a matter of sooner or later....

Anywa, regarding my bf...Well, haiz...IT seems that i can't hide anymore...I've broken with him long ago....Just tt i denied....Can't you ppl just give me some peace? I understand that some of my gd frens are trying to help me turn str8..But pls, it's useless. It's just like asking a str8 to turn curve....How to?
Well, soon after both os us agreed to go into non-monogamy, we've alr broken up...He slept with some guys...
Well, i hv new targets of course..haa.....

Okok, it's late...i'm tired..bb

ANGST

2007-02-21T14:50:00.000+08:00

I've been in deep thought and considerations these few days. I tear almost daily because of the love i have for him....I expressed by grief to one of my friend Cherie...Who's also facing a break up scenario herself. I told her how much i love him and how much i wish he didn't react by avoiding me and other things. How i sob and stuffs. She told me, with watery eyes, and related the breakup with her bf few months ago.
I told her i'm really at a lost...Someone else likes me now, but i love the other guy...Then Cherie told to let go and move on...She says that it's impossible for me and him to be tgt, he has already gotten a gf...And furthermore, he is totally str8...There's no use waiting and waiting..There'll be no result and it's unproductive...
I agree with her...SEriously, but i wish that i can accept this fact emotionally.....I dont' wish to elaborate on how he reacted towards me after knowing that i actually like him..
THese few days, ive been forcing myself to let go and really really move on with my r/s life...FYI, i don't fall for ppl easily....Although i may be gay, but i'm not the despo and horny type....

Next, about my detestable, despicable, irritating father...I seriously hate him....View my previous post about sth about him...My grandmother, who's my father's mother, is already on her deathbed....Yet my father still gets money from her, urge her to give him money and agitate her...Does he even have that bit of conscience? He is already 50 yrs old and still so immatured and unthoughtful...Well, he doesn't wanna work to earn money. That's bad enough...Now he stays home all day and drowns in alcohol with his friends at the coffee shop EVERYDAY without fail, smoke like hell, and ''works'' as a full-time freeloader...It's because my grandmother is gg anytime that i don't wanna make her sad or anything...Everyone is putting that effort to please the dying old lady except for him...He's making things worse...Seriously i dunno why such people still exists...They should be exempted from the world, this helps in saving resources..They're not only doing nothing to salvage the dying earth, but they're spoiling it by smoking, being a freeloader, creating problems etc etc....How i wish God would excuse killing as a sin when u kill somebody for everyone's good..Seriously if my God and the law accept such, i would have killed my father.....It sounds cruel, but when you see him in a non-sober mode, you'll immediately know that he's a useless freak, incorrigible drinker, source of family angst.....

Anyway, i am very very disappointed and sad with a student of mine, Thomas.....When i teach him and he learns sth, he glorifies me...But jsut because of his mere wilfullness- by doing last minute cancellation of lessons for the past few months. And then in Oct last yr, he cancelled lesson 4times in a row and gave lame excuses...I felt pissed..I've alr tolerated him...But he still insisted on being wilfull...Then we didn't contact for some time and stopped talking about lessons when we see each other in sch...Now, he wants a refund for the money which he missed the lesson for..Eh pls...No such thing alright....When you go and study in a music sch, and u skip lesson whether with an appropriate reason or not, there goes your money...You can't expect people to give you a make up lesson jsut because u do things the way you want.....

I think the way Thomas behaved and prioritized his schedule simply irks me, and makes me feel that he's filled with immaturity...Worse still, wheni refuse to refund him, he blackmailed me and said he's gg to bring this matter up to the school authority...OMG...This is simply ridiculous .. The school has got no correlation with this matter, and furthermore it's my personal business which the school has got no right to interfere...SO if he really complain to the sch he's the one who's gg to lose out...Now iv'e seen through the facade which he put on....Perhaps, i should be more careful and firm with my business..It's either you win or the other party wins and pins you down...Jsut like in a war. it's either ur enemy dies or u say bye bye to the world....

CNY

2007-02-18T22:56:00.000+08:00

Last night was supposed to be reunion night..Well, for my fmily reunion night just pass by quietly like that..Only my grand uncle and his son came and joined dinner with us..Other than that, the 'reunion' only consisted of Me, my dad, grandma, auntie, maid...Due to the insufficient space available for everyone at the dining table, we have to spilt into two groups for' reunion' ..I sit with my grandma, aunt, grand uncle and his son...Everyone just ate quietly. No atmosphere at all... Well, i haven't experience family warmth kinda atmosphere in my life,...SEriously....

What touched me the most was a small incident which happened between my grand uncle and his son.
At first, the 2 of them were serving each other with dishes....I thought it was normal,...But what seem conspicuous to me was, my grand uncle put a prawn on his son's plate, his son put it back. Then, my grand uncle actually removed the shell of the prawn and put it on his son's plate..This somehow just struck me..It made me feel the love that my grand uncle has for his son...
Mostly, parents of his age, his generation, or rather parents who have children in the middle-age generation, they are alr off society and have no idea of the trends of their childrens ' generation. They have no idea of how to express their love towards their loved ones. So they get more spontaeneous and do so by their feelings..What comes to their minds. Such actions usually touches ppl very deeply, it comes naturally also...
Well, today is the day whereby i get my ang baos.....But seriously not atmospheric... Guest seemed like visitors, and the ang baos which were given to me seem strange and unkind....

Something made me very very unhappy...Early in the dawn, my dad has already started drowning in the depth of the sinister amount of alcohol. WHen guest started flowing in, he reeked of liqour. Which gave a bad start to everyone...It's a culture that when the upper generation give the younger generation angbao, the reciepient's parents are supposed to give back that giver's children...It's a culture... But my dad doesn't do it..I'm not blaming him...He doesnt wanna work when he says he can't find a job...He wants ppl to understand him...But how to? when he contradicts himself by drinking beer early in the morning and showing everyone what an avid and ''enthusiastic' drinker he is....I seriously don't know why he want to waste his life away....Why don't he just go meet his maker instead?

Performance

2007-02-16T17:05:00.000+08:00

Today was CNY celebration. Well, we had an ''incentive'' of gg home early... I just can't stand teh way the school act so noble...
Anyway, i performed wushu...Da Dao and Shuang Bi Shou.....Quite fun...The moment i spinned my da dao out the stage, everyone cheered and roared...I felt so honoured.....The happiest moment and satisfaction of an avid performer...A kinda feeling that not everyone can feel...Especially when i did the stun...WOW! The crowd ROARED the house down....I was not at all nervous, i felt so good, so happy and satisfied....Hard Work pays off...After i got off the stage, i felt like a star...Everyone was fixing their eytes on me...haa..I got positive encouragements, of course words of jealousy was inevitably coming round my ears. Well, there're still room for improvements, so i won't be too complacent either...lol....

Frustrations

2007-02-15T19:10:00.000+08:00

I'm very frustrated because of school life...Seriously, being a prefect, cca chairman, student leader, normal student, O level candidate... I mean, all these really fills me with abundant pressure. But, not many students can experience this kinda pressure. In some way or the other, it's a kind of honour, but mostly, it's leading a tedious life.

Yesterday, i had to stay in school from 7am - 6pm..We had to rehearse for CNY performance tmr... And i sprained my back...-_-.... Anyway, my frustration was because of a fellow cca mate called Benjamin. He's sec 5 and 17 yrs old. Since last year, he's been giving me attitute problems and whenevr i talk to him, he treat it as though i'm speaking to the damn wall... Ytd, just because i dropped my costume's belt, and he came screaming at me in front of so many people ''HEY, UR BELT LA!!! IF U LOSE IT U WANTO PAY ISSIT(in mandarin)'' I've already had enough of him.. It really beats me regarding what i did which made him treat me like that... I want to know, i want to ask him..But i felt that there's no use. Because since he always ignore me whenever i speak to him, he wouldn't tell me what is his problem..I just feel that he's deeply immatured, selfish and incorrigible. At that point of time when he lost his anger towards me, seriously i felt like just teaching him a good lesson by beating him upside down and make him bled from head to toe. But i chose myself not to.. So i reacted by saying ''Mine meh?'' .. The reason why i chose not was because i knew, that if i beat him up, it'll bring no good to me..Perhaps it satisfies my ego. But, as a cca chairman, i hv to set a good example and not do such things .. I can simply beat him up if i want to, but if i do so, i'll bring about great disappointment to my cca teacher, who hv high hopes on me.

When we went back to the cca room, i told the other performers i'll be lodging a complain about his attitute and what just happened...And of course many more....This can't go on u noe...I have my pride and authority as a chairman....Who is he to scream at me? He's nth but an immatured brat. My friends told me because he's tired after the practice and rehearsals. For goodness sake, who isn't tired? Who isn't frustrated? It's all about having self-control, patience, tolerance and discipline..Furthermore, he's a student leader himself.. If the others can control theirselves, i don't see a reason why can't he....If he can't even control his emotions, then i don't think he should stand with the leaders during cca practice. He should just be a normal member...Don't you think so?

After i went home, i had to rush for AJ dinner at marina south..While i was on the way home, i was thinking if i should go for the dinner..Because i had simply no mood and furthermore i was very very tired. But after thinking for a while, i thought, why let that incident affect me for what? Tt Benjamin is just a jerk and an incorrigible freak. Why let a freak affect my life? And i've already promised my AJ frens that i will go for the dinner. So i can't PS them just because i felt tired...

I reached the place. I realized there are a few AJs whom i don't know..lol..Total of 9 of us. Then i sat down and started yanking...Then, somebody, returned from the toilet, and faced his left side towards me..He came and told the table of AJs sth. And i looked up...I saw his face..Immediately i recognised him. He's Wilson! haa...My Primary school friend whom he and i was in the same class for 6 Yrs...This yr is our 10th frenshiip year..lol....Little did i expect to meet him there...lol....Anyway, we had a fulfilling dinner,...Honestly, our behavior was kinda conspicuous haa..Many ppl were like staring at us..lol....

I reached home quite late. But after my bath i went to sleep immediately. I didn't want to go to school today. But i know i have to go...If not my form teacher will come calling me...-_-...
I skipped SS remedial because i was seriously tired...lol....

Ok, i shall pen off here...Rmb to tag me..:)

A Change

2007-02-13T17:50:00.000+08:00

I've been doing night exercises lately... Desire for a nice body has been appealing to me..I'm starting to dress like an Emo...I just somehow like that kinda style...BTW, i went to Marina Square with my friend Alexis on friday night. To buy a pair of punching pads. Well, other than being sch mates, we're also classmates at a boxing club in Bishan....lol...After getting what we wanted, we headed towards the music cafe called ''AI QIN HAI'' THe drinks are SO ex! The both of us just got ourselves one tea, and it costed us 30 over bucks...OMG...

Anyway, my skit performance during the launch of total defense day was rather succesful should i say.. Well, i'm very proud of it. I wrote it, it went the way i wanted and it brought about great humour among the crowd. A sense of achievement....Although i got some negative feedbacks, whereby some ppl tried to grip me down bcos they were simply jealous that they can't do such jobs like this.. They gave sarcastic remarks and made a childish joke out of it...Well, but so what? I can't satisfy all the people there, can i? It's not disturbing to me, but i just feel tt those ppl who passed sarcastic remarks are really terrible, because they are actually my casual friends....Of course, there were feedbacks whereby it tells me how to improve and stuffs...I'm very receptive to solid and resourceful feedbacks..I'm willing to learn and i want to improve....

Yesterday, i was supposed to have English remedial but i skipped....lol...I was very very tired.....

And, today, during literature period, my lit teacher Mrs Maraan became sadistic again...I mean, i do respect her and admire her because of her amazing teaching and inference skills and the skills which she has..What i hate about her is her attitute of wanting everything to be 100% perfect...What a perfectionist.Plus her sadistic attitute, like making a mountain out of a molehill...U noe, if u didn't bring her textbook, she'll make you stay back after school just to copy the book's contents for 3 hrs. Sadistic...I know she wants us to be well-discipined...But doesn't she feel that this method is rather old-fashioned? And it's no longer that useful nowadays? Whereby more and more students are getting more and more defiant towards teachers... I mean, as the society changes, as human beings we should face up to reality and change too right? It's like, students make up the sea and teachers are the boats. Without students there'll be no teachers to survive...Just like without the sea, boats can't move on water....I really feel that teachers shouldn't be too locked up in the cage of thinking they're forever right...

Back to CCA. As the cca chairman, i hv to take charge of everything from head to toe....It's kinda stressful. I mean, it's worth it too. But, at every places there're some black sheeps lurking and bringing about jeopady and unhappiness...Just like in my cca...Whereby some guys are simply irritating, scheming, having serious attitute problems..Please, u noe who u are...Stop giving me that kinda fucked up attitute whereby when i talk to u u treat it as though i'm talking to the wall...U are a student leader, set a gd example man....I'm your superior and when i give you instructions, it's ur responsibility to follow. If you don't agree with me, you can tell me and suggest...And furthermore, i seldom make decisions on my own..I'm quite a democratic kinda person....I'm not so domineering whereby i make sure everything goes as how i want it to be.And some scheming ppl are causing more and more segragation within the unity....The cca belongs to the whole team of members...Not me alone...And when i ask tt particular person, he just treat it as though i'm speaking to a wall and starts backstabbing me....

Pls, it is fking obvious...Now he's only in secondary sch...When he goes out to work in future and give his boss this kind of fucked up attitute, the boss won't even go up to him or tell him anything...He'll just be told to FUCKED OFF....Without even knowing why. If he doesn't learn it now, it's very hard for him to learn in future...He's alr 17 yr old and still so narrow-minded and immature....haiz....Well, i've done my part as a ''superior'' in CCA..But he refused to even budge or listen a single thing...So be it...In future, 10 years down the road, let's see where are we in society....

I understand that he comes from a family whereby it's not morally stable...But so what? Why did he let it affect him so much? If this little thing affects him so much, this shows that he's a weakling....Incapable....Useless...If he wants to use his weak upbringing as an exuse, den what about me? I come from a more fucked up family than him..

Anw, well, i just hope that this 3 months will go on normally...After term 2, i can officially step down..and theni can concentrate fully on my O levels liao...haa...

Anyway, secondary sch has changed me..Although i hated sec sch, but it changed me into a better and bad-er person....I'm still quite emo at times, but i've seriously changed alot, be it on how i look and my personality...Well, human beings change rapidly...I mean, we always change..Who wants to remain as the same person for the whole of their life? gosh....It's like u playing a game, would you wanna stay as the same character forever? For some games it's inevitable, but u can change the charcter's abilities and style...I just feel tt, we shouldn't worry so much about how much we've changed, so long as we dont' bring harm to others and those who used to love us still love us, and most importantly we know ourselves well and that change is naturally and we ARE ourselves...That's the main and most important thing....

Really a tedious lifestyle

2007-02-11T09:22:00.000+08:00

Friday was the release of O level results.. I was at the hall, where the results are being released...I see the crowd coming in; candidates of O level Cambridge 2006 from FTPSS. Most came in happilly...Some had a kinda nervous aura. Well, when u Know tt you didn't studyhard enough, you will not do well...I'm sort of happy to see some of my old friends...

Then, as they were giving out the resutls, a friend of mine, let's name him S, was having cold shivers. He expresssed his nervousness towards me, subsequently i know that he didn't do well. And true enough, when he got back his results, he was very very upset. He was so devastated by his catastrophic results that he walked pass a wall and punched it..Which caused his watch to break..Then, he walked pass a classrm, and punched the Window...And BANG! THe glass shattereed into pieces..Like how his heart shattered when he learned about his undesirable results.

Anyway, I wasn't able to go for wushu training on friday. I must really say that i'm damn angry with TayYing...I've already told her that i can't open the cca room bcos i hv a rehearsal to attend to until about 4pm. And i confirmed if she's able to make it back at 1.30pm to open the CCA room. She said yes, she can make it..But in the end, at 1.30pm she still hasn't arrived..I was so fed up..SHe only arrived at 2.30pm..I had to run up and down, do simultaenuos job, halfway rehearsal halfway tend to cca...IT's fucking stressful....I have to remember my lines for rehearsal and worry about the CCA...

Anyway, the performance which i hv been talking about is tmr. The launch of Total Defense Day. I hv to perform a skit, which was written by me and i got the lead role. SIan....Well, seriously i didn't like to perform in my sch...Honestly, the performing system in my sch sux like hell. They don't even have WIRELESS MICS! fuck...And whenever external performers come to our sch for a performance, they suffer.. Bcos they hv to act on stage and hold a microphone on one of their hands. And i mean WIRED microphone. I think that the sch is really too budget and irresponsible...Seriously, whenever those performers leave, they hv a bad impression of the sch...The principal always preach on maintaining a positive sch image. But just look at what she's doing. SHe says that students are the main cause of thwarting the sch image. But, what on earth has he sch been doing to ''maintain'' or ''elevate'' the precious sch image? Furthermore, sch image and impression strts with small and simple things, like having a gd performing technical system in the sch hall...I mean, when those external performers come for a soudun check, they'll come to a conclusion that since the sch just can't be bothered to hold a gd performance for the students, and so why bother to go to this sch and perform again? Having a lousy support from the technical side will cause their performance to be terrible...It affects their skills. Imagine holding a mic when u act on stage, in front of 1000 people. What a joke.....They'll look hilarious...And most people will just think tt they're lousy actors..So why bother to go to a sch like that to perform again? They'll just be spoiling their own reputation...

Anyway, i just wanna say that, after tmr's event, i'm just going to wash my hands off the prefectorial board. It's seriously beyond salvation.. I'm not gonna elaborate further on how i was being mistreated and stuffs. If you wanna know, view my previous posts.

Next, i went for sanda training last night. Alexis wasn't able to make it as he was down with a flu. When i arrived , i saw Ivan. He didn't look gd...He seemed moody, listless and sad. I don't know why. He just seem depressed..It breaks my heart also...I mean, when u see somebody you love in such a state, i'm sure you'll feel equally down...I tried to make eye contact with him and say a HI..But he seem to ignore me...I dunno why..Well, perhaps he knew that i'm gay and i like him...All bcos of some big mouth....fuck....At this point of time, where tears are about to flow, i really dont know how to express everything. He may find my thoughts, philosophy and feelings and believes debaucherous, but can't he give a better response towards me? It really hurts me deeply..I may seem very happy, but it's all so facade....

I also wonder how some big mouth feels when he/she went round telling ppl about my sexual oreintation. I dunno who did it. But i'm sure someone did it. I just yearn and in need of some love and relationship... Most people have family to support them, i mean emotionally. They know that they hv a backup at home, they can turn towards their family. But idont...SInce youung, i've always been a loner...I have to take care of myself and push myself and motivate myself to study and stuffs. Although i've been filled with great childhood angst, but i didn't walk into the path where it destroys my future, like commiting crimes. etc etc....

I just want a guy to be by my side and whereby we appreciate each other.. Yes, it may not seem rightful, for a guy to go into a r/s with another guy...But, it's my way of happiness.....I didn't cause intentional harm to any1 did i? It's just a matter of personal preference...And i like that Ivan at sanda...He's not veryvery charming, but i like him not bcos of his looks but bcos He iS him...I like him bcos of his personality, his feel, his aura....I know he has a gf, but i didn't even had the intention to break up the 2 of them just to get him. I have to consider and be aware of his gf's feelings. Well, u may say tt love is selfish and we can't be too selfless if we want to get the person we want. Over here, i can't bring myself to break up a loving couple. Only when his gf leaves him, only then it's my turn to strike. Whether i am able to get him anot, that's another story.

I'm such a thoughtful person, and yet he's treating me with such coldness. I know he's avoiding me, but what he hell can i do? Nth but suffer from the uncontrollable heart pain....

Tedious Lifestyle

2007-02-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

My schedule is tedious...In school for at least 12 hours daily. It's very tiring..I didn't manage to blog on Wednesday night because i actually reached home at 730pm, and i was so tired, that i went to sleep after my bath without even having a proper dinner...
TOday is thursday. Had E maths remedial until about 4 plus...Reached home at 5plus..Was so tired..Then my music teacher called me..She asked me if i wanna have dinner with another student of her's (also my fren) at Junction 8..I had already had my dinner liao, but i was thinking since we seldom get to go out together, so why not grab this oppurtunity to meet up..So i went to J8 with them..And we ate Mos Burger..Well, i only had a Strawberry milkshake...Needed to cut down on my food intake..

After reaching home, i quickly do all my tuition homework as my tutor was on the way..Luckily i managed to complete everything before she came. If not i'll get a scolding...lol...

Well, anyway, tmr's gonna be a long day again..Friday, CCA day..but the irony here is that i'll be packed not bcos of CCA but because of the irritating prefectorial board..DAMN....I have to try out an army Uniform for total defense day's skit performance...Where i play a big role in..But i hate performing in sch...The students are so negatively responsive...Almost every issue will be very controversial to them..And they'll jus jeer like nobody;s business...

Ok, i've just finished my night exercise and i've to go to bed..It's now 12.40am Friday..OMG...I better go sleep...Don't forget to tag me...

School sux being a prefect totally sux to the core

2007-02-06T12:53:00.000+08:00

I have 2 issues at hand...Really, making me so stressed and sad and angry...Well, who cani blame except for me myself who did not make the right choices in teh first place?

The first issue...My regrets of resuming the role as a prefect in school...I've been repeating about my loathes, my unhappiness and my angst of being a prefect...I must say that being one really sux to the core..Seriously....Just because of the few cca points and i have to reach sch at 7.10am every morning, and do those pathetic, stupid prefect duties which i find it damn damn fucking childish eg, make sure students dun cut queue, make sure student tuck in their shirts etc etc....

Pls, i have other matters to take care of alright...I've been appointed as the CCA Chairman, i dont mind doing it, because i really gain sth and i enjoy working with the ppl in my cca.. I hate being a prefect, those prefects think that they are gods. think that they know alot, but actually they're nth but a bunch of pathetic kiddos who're inexperienced and arrogant. simply hate it...

Why must i sacrifice so much time for nth? Why must i suffer so much? In the end, with just a testimonial saying i was a prefect...Pls for goodness sake, being a prefect is so common nowadays..My prefect mistress kept on emphasizing that when i go for job interviews in future, and interviewers see tt i was a prefect, they will hv a gd impression of me..Pls, why much i make people judge me from facade? First impression is important, yes..But first impression doesnt totally lies with being a PREFECT. omg...

Well, you may think why didn't i quit since i hated it so much...I wanted to...But when i wanted to quit, the prefect mistress told us that in our testimonial it'll be put as we've got SACKED...HEY, what is this man? they're so desperately in need of prefects..Good students usually don't aim to become prefects nowadays...

Next, being early in sch. As a prefect, we hv to be in school by 7.10am if not we'll be marked as late...I'm always ''late''.. And one day, the prefect mistress was s fed-up with me, and she said to me ''i dont see why u cant coem early when the others can do so'' Well, the reason is simple..Because i cant be botehred to do so...What do i get even if i be a gd prefect? Exp some ppl say..wad kinda exp? Experience more about how to handle with kids? Eh pls, society is rapidly changing...We may be experienced in handling kids now but when we have our own kids(i may not) the way to handle kids will be different....

Next, about schooling attire....We have to wear sch uniform, hv our hair neatly cut, white shoes and normal glasses...Ok,i agree that wearing uniform gives students an identity of being students of a particular school...Wearing sch uniform, i am totally not against it. But, what about hair cut? Why can't we keep our hair long? what is the problem? The sch said if we hv long hair, we'll look untidy..But so what?Does it affect our studies? Since schools always preach that studies are our top priorities, and of course learning life skills, how has got our hair got to do with studies -_-..i wonder which stupid idiot came up with these ''wonderful'' and ''creative'' image of students....

I was caught for not having ''acceptable'' hair length few weeks ago..I was reprimanded badly by the prefect mistress...I spoke back, she had nothing to say..But she still scolded me and said tt i talked back to her and was defiant this and that shit..

Pls, now, schools are getting more and mroe ridiculous...They expect us to treat teachers like gods. We have to coax them,respect them, lick their boots etc etc...For goodness sake, a person gets respect by earning them not forcing. Many prefects pretend to be a teacher's bootlicker..I don't do that pls. I am not so facade and fake. If i don't respect a particular teacher, i just ignore him/her.

And they said ''when a teacher do/say sth wrong, students hv the right to say it out'' Oh how contradictive, how ironic!! When we object to a teacher's point of view when we get scolded from that particular teacher's conclusion ofjudgement, we get another offense for being DEFIANT..wad the fuck....haiz, schs are changing..

Even schs hv their dirty politics now...For eg my sch
The discipline master is on the route to retirement. So, somebody will have to take over the position. And, the whole disciplinary commitee is trying so hard to impress the principal and lick the principal's boots just to get that position. OMG....Worse still, they do so by picking on students. Now, discipline teachers are always on a lookout on finding chances to say tt a particular student broke a school rule..wad the fuck....One example, last week, my friend had a conflict with a teacher...That teacher said tt my fren did not put in effort to study. My friend got pissed and objected her statements. That teacher got pissed and sent my fren down to the OM(operational manager) who's also part of the disciplinary commitee...So the OM of cos tried to prove himself..He said my fren was defiant and broke a sch rule..When my fren challenged him, he was unable to find a sch rule which he claims my fren broke...So my friend wrote a sacastic statement about that teacher and the school..Thus, he was let off...

I am really starting to find that school is really no longer a safe and condusive place to be.let alone warm..Seriously, secondary school fills me with alot of sad memories and molten lead... Cant wait to leave, seriously can't wait to leave...

Back Blogging

2007-02-06T12:40:00.000+08:00

HI!! I'm back blogging again..haa..I was absent from blogger for 2 months and now am back..Well, i have been so extremely busy with life, school work, school issues and stuffs. Many things for me to talk about here...Complains, naggings, but of course positive issues to be shared. Well anyway, this is my new blogskin. I have been trying very hard to find time to come back to blogger but have not because of my busy life...Shit...

Anyway, i didn't go to school today because i have to send my electone for repair. And the repair shop, which is the one and only branch in singapore that hold my warranty only opens from morning 8.30am to 3.30pm. Sucks..They are only opened on weekdays when i hv to be in school. I actually wanted to send it for repair during CNY(CHINESE NEW YR) when i need not be in school.

But when i saw my warranty card lasst night, i almost freak out. It is gg to expire in a weeks time...lol...And so i decided to skip school today to send it for repair if not my electone won't be warranted..The thing which made me pissed was the staff at the technical house told me that the repair will take approximately one week....OMG tt means i won't get to play y electone for a week!..damn....

I also went to collect my pay for filming just now after sending my sickly electone for repair. Same thing, office hours for this filming company is every weekday from 8.30am to 5pm...I don't mind collecting my pay after sch, but the problem is that their office is located at an Ulu place in Clarque Quay...omg...It'll take about and hour for me to reach there...And you know, this is my graduation year and i have to stay back in school almost everyday for extra lessons, CCA.... I only reach home at about 4-5pm daily..Exceptions on Fridays and wednesdays, i reach home at 7pm...

Ok, i'm gonna do another post on another issue

hmmm

2006-12-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

Went for a party at Joshua Greene's posh apartment on saturday...The food, is simply marvellous....It's always GOOD...OR rather, fabulous....When i got there, i met this lady, whom i didn't quite like....It's all about her fucked up attitute.....Well, this party is for members of musical theatre society of singapore(MTS)...
This lady needed to carry something from her car but it was too heavy. SO the president, Stella asked me to give her a hand. So i went down with her. But, this lady took me for granted..The way she spoke to me, it was so rude of her....Later during the party, her nephew came. And she kept on boasting to the ppl how well her nephew plays the piano...And well, tt boy is only about 10yr old, and he can play quite well..But it's all classical..I doubt his improvisation skills....
I couldn't swallow down this. So i also went onto the piano and did afew songs. Applause came(of cos):)....
Anw, i had quite abit of liqour....Drank about 5 glasses of wine...haa...

Oh, i changed my blogskin....ha....Hope u all liked it. I thought this current one is a little more kiddy...:)

I wanna go MOX again...I just can't wait to go there with my new hairstyle...heee....So bored...
Supposed to have music lesson today but it was being brought forward to Saturday...

Ok, i gotta go...
BYE

2006-12-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

Went for music lesson just now...My teacher said that i've improved again....
haa...I just love her grandpiano...The kinda feeling when i play on the grandpiano, is indescribable beyond words...The tone, the pitch, the impact, is just too great...The feeling is just there....Of course, much depends on the player him/herself....:)

These few days, i've in deep thoughts. What Kinda approach should i have towards school when school reopens.
After deep and careful analysis, i've decided, next year my purpose to school, is to study, have as much decent fun as possible with my desired school mates, sit for my O levels, and finally go mad during graduation night...
What i'll do is, go to school, attend lesson, stay back after sch for 3 hrs 3 times a wk to study alone, and mind my own shit.....
I'm not gonna bother about the hopeless prefectorial board anymore...Be it the teacher, fellow prefects, or whatever, they just don't appreciate the effort which i've put in, and the help that i've contributed....Put aside dedication and sacrifices...
I was really wondering, how much time i've wasted by spending my precious time doing worthless stuffs for the board man...In this kinda school...I should have put in that amount of time to study, and perhaps i would have done much better for my exams man...
So, i've decided to totally wash my hands off this board...Why get my self in hot soup with those gangsters? I may know the gangs and i may be their friends, but if i play more of my part as a prefect, i'll hv to handle those gangsters who break school rules often...And when i offend them, my safety is at stake after sch....Is the school gonna be responsible for my safety after school hours? fuck NO! Only after you get beaten up badly or what, then they'll come into the fking picture and ''assist'' in the investigations which eventually comes to an inpositive results and discoveries...
Moreover, in my testimonial, it'll only be stated that i was a prefect...Or maybe some other major contributions..But will they state what i've sacrificed and what i've done specifically? Even if those do exist in my testimonial, will poly interviewers waste their time by looking at those stuffs? They Won't! So, this shows that it doesn't follow me like a shadow in my life...Wheras, my academic does...
Look,,when you go out there, ppl usually ask about how many points you got for O levels right? Do they ask what you've contributed to the sch? Or do they ask what kinda business you have in sch? Normally, they don't...Ppl only ask superficially, they don't ask so deeply..I mean, some do...But so what if they do? If i've plenty of contributions, and my academic sux, how will it help me?

Honestly, i didn't learn much in my 3 yrs service as a prefect...Most of the skills that i've learnt in school, is from my CCA and another student leader club....
Others, i learnt it when i work, when i mix with ppl and through my own observations....Very little from the prefectorial board...this is what i can say...I've not been given much oppurtunities to learn from the board...
Being a prefect, is not all about doing duties...Doing duties is only the minor factor...We got short-listed as a prefect because nominating teachers think that we hv more potential that's why they chose us for the sch to groom us further....And in return, we prefects do duties to pay back the sch for giving us the oppurtunities.
But for me, i've put in effort, but i've not been given much oppurtunities....wad the hell is this man...There's no free lunch in this world, they refuse to give me what i shd get, i'll give them shit work next year....

Ok, enough talk of all these....

Btw, haa, i'm going to MOX again!!! YEAH!!! For my bdae celebration after christmas...
Oh, talk about christmas, i've a christmas celebration for Musical Theatre Society(MTS) tmr...hehe....I've done 2 musical reviews for them liao..Hopefully i get to act in the musical in March...You all must come and watch ah...:)

Oh, btw, show u all sth

hahhahahaha....NICE??

I am Turning crazy!!!

2006-12-07T13:21:00.000+08:00

On Saturday night, after my Sanda training i headed towards Tanjong Pagar to meet up with Andy and his friends..It was his birthday and we went to MOX for a celebration...haa
Honestly, i was kept in the dark that MOX is a gay pub! gosh....I didn't know la.,..Well, i am a good boy alright...Only after afew minutes i sat down, called for my drinks, and then i realised that the people arouund don't seemed str8...Guys were cuddling each other, kissing and stuffs...Only then i realised that it's a gay pub,....haa....Funny.....
Anyway, i got to meet a few new friends, they are rather interesting AJs too,....I thought i can fish for some of them but i have totally no affection towards any of them...TOO BAD.....
I drank quite abit, but i wasn't drunk lah...After we left MOX, we headed towards clarke quay and went to TCC....Andy had a chicken chop and we just had our drinks...
I had a stupid Iced Coffee Mocha which sux...So yucky...
Upon finishing our meal, we wanted to go home...So we thought of taking a Night rider....BUt, after waiting at that bus stop for 40mins, only NR3 came...And we foudn out that all the other night riders are off service already....I thought of taking a cab home, but looking at the others, who hv to walk, i feel so guilty to just put them there...SO i walked with them to take a rest at Andy's hse....
Andy said his house is very near, but it took us to walk for 2 OVER HOURS to reach his home...wtf....By the time , we were complaining and complaining..haa....
But after reaching his home, we fouund that we couldn't sleep...it was already about 7am in the morning...
So we just laid down on the bed and joked about....Imagine, 5 AJs sleeping tgt in the same room...haa...I slept for 10 mins...Woke up, and found one of them looking at me..I was sleeping with another AJ.....haa...IT's normal la...For AJs to look at another guy like that..haa....
I slept fr another 3 hrs..Then i heard Andy playing the piano...So i went out, and played on his piano too...ha.....After playing for like 20mins, i went back to the room, and, guess what i saw? The 4 of them paired up in 2s and were in intimacy!!
Gosh, so fast? And they left me OUT!!!Grrr....So i just went to Andy's comp and logged onto my msn.....Chatted for a while and i felt like a gooseberry..haha...So i told Andy that i am leaving.....
Anyway, it was a memorable night for me..haha...Will not forget the great laughter we had...haha....

NEXT:

Went for music lessons 2 days ago at my teacher's house....She said i improved in my piano playing....Of course! How can i not improve when i practice like hell daily?...haa...Whenever i go to her hse, i'll sit down before her grandpiano and start playing...Although i'm learning Pop composition, but i love to play on her grandpiano....Because the tone of the piano simply melts my heart...wahhh....
So i told myself, i got to save money to buy a gd piano...grr....sianz....i only have a keyboard at home...But this keyboard is a gd one...But no matter what, it can never ever be compared to a piano...Esp a complimentary grandpiano...wahh....I can never resist to play on a grandpiano whenever i see it....
It's an honour alright, to be able to play well on a grandpiano....
And, i also realised that it's a kinda blessing, or rather, something to feel happy about,, to be able to play well on a piano....The kinda enjoyment and satisfaction that you get, i just can't describe it in words....

Anyway, i'm so pissed this morning...grrrr...An enormous acne popped out of my face...GRR....Another outbreak...shit...It's been ages since i have a pimple/acne...
My complexion was terrible when i was 12-15 yrs old...Only after June this year, i found the right wash for my face, then only i saw a tremendous improvement in my complexion...haha...nvm, i just got to sleep early and wash my face more frequently...haa...Ok, gtg....

Dont FORGET TO TAG ME AH...:)

Work Work Work

2006-12-01T14:43:00.000+08:00

Haven't had the time to blog thes days..How ironic ya? Holidays yet still so busy..
I took over my friend's job as a promoter at MPH for 3 days. Which was Monday to Wednesday...The people there is very friendly...My colleagues and those staff there...All these develops a sense of belonging...hee...But i somehow just dislike the supervisor...His name is John...He's a true sadist alright. All promoters at MPH are students on vacation. So this satistic john, thinks that he can bully young people. But please, don't think that just because you are being seasoned by age means you can dominate the young. PUI!! Whenever he sees us talking, he curse us at the back...idiot....He's also a backstabber...Bloody hell....So what if he's the supervisor or Retail executive, it was his mere luck that he didn't offend me directly, or else i will make sure i shame him in front of everyone there...No one gets away with bullying me.....NO ONE! I'll always bite back.....
By the way, on Wenesday while i was on my way to work, i witnessd a horrible fatal accident.
I was sitting on the 2nd level of double decker bus, at the first right hand seat.
What happened was, after stopping at a bus stop, the bus stopped at the traffic light. As the green man was blinking, many people started dashing across the road. It somehow just caught my attention..Then the red man shown..Suddenly, a lady, in her 40s, dashed across the Pedastrian crossing while it's a red man....So the green light signalled vehicles to start moving..As the lady was dashing, a motorcyclist rode pass at a high speed and banged this lady directly on her body.....It was so scary..Screams were heard, vehicles stopped in shock...The victim's body spinned twice, and finally facing towards my side, threw up some blood, and fell onto the ground. Blood flew out from all parts of her face...It was a horrible sight...
I felt a chill down my spine, a sudden numb was felt in my body and it brought me back to a yr ago , when a similar accident happened to my dad...But he didn't die la...lol....
Anyway, my grandmother's in hospital..She suffered a mild stroke/...She is quite weak and needs assistance in walking...haiz...
Ok, i gtg...Pls don't forget to tag me..:)

Wow

2006-11-25T06:14:00.000+08:00

Didn't post for abt one week...Well, i just realised that not many people are visiting my blog...

Anyway, i met this guy called Rin...He's not str8 either....I told him i am interested in him...He said he'll just leave it to fate.Ironically, he didn't avoid me but asked me out instead...haa...So on Thursday night, we met at NorthPoint.
It was such a funny and comical night i can say.....

Firstly, there's this 27 yr old gay, by the name of Kelvin, also likes Rin....So he keep on pestering Rin, and that night that i met Rin, he came along...He's not bad looking, just that he's a bit toot...
Well, when i met him, i thought he was ok..But after that i found him damn weird...
He went to a Jewellery shop, and Rin and I followed...He actually bought a gold Anklet for Rin!! GRRR.....And it was craved on the damn anklet ''I Love You''
And you know, at Jewellery shops, the customer service is usually quite good. Because they are gonna earn big bucks from potential customers.
So, this Kelvin, chose an Anklet with the wording ''I love you'' for Rin! WTF...And those sales girls were giggling like hell..wtf right?
And Rin gave me the kinda sianz sian look..haha....He's cute alright....And furthermore, i feel so much for him...haa....So Rin told me, ''oi, cover me la, dun let other ppl see''
He finds this Kelvin irritating and crazy...

Then after that, we went to Macdonalds. After mac, we headed towards Marina South for arcade,..I didn't spend much...Only about $5 at the arcade..I'm not a person who's into arcade games lah....
Then we played bowling....the 3 of us...Then, that Kelvin is really crazy....He needed to warm up before playing bowling you know,...wth....Then at that instant, i felt that he is abit ''off key'' You should know what i mean....
So after one hour of bowling, we went to a fishing farm to fish...haa...:D...
The rates are damn expensive there....One person hv to pay $24 for 2 1/2 hrs...
And i actually paid for Rin..So i spent $48..*ouch*....Well, it was worth it for me....I manage to catch 6 big ones while lady luck wasn't on Rin's side,...haha...

I said right, Kelvin, likes Rin and keep on pestering him....Then while fishing they started to quarrel,....I could see that Kelvin is jealous that Rin likes me so much more than him...Well, i am not saying that Kelvin is a bad guy..Just that he doesn't know how to make Rin like him and there's no affinity between the 2 of them...
While fishing, Rin couldn't catch a single thing...SO Kelvin told him to go over to the other side of the pond....But Rin refused and said he need to talk to me(in a rude tone) So Kelvin felt damn jealous and said to Rin ''ok lor, you talk to him lor, dun talk to me''
Then Kelvin walked away..After 10 mins, Kelvin returned with a bowl of nooldles..He was feeding Rin....After 2 mouthfulls, Rin didn't wanna eat,...So Kelvin got fed up and said ''Why are you throwing tantrums?'' Then Rin told him off badly....

After that, we have to walk a long distance out to get a cab, While walking, they 2 quarrelled again...omg....Then i was walking with Rin....And Kelvin walked damn fast...Then, his attitute was so weird la....The way he talk and behaved...I could feel that he's really off key...SO Rin told me that Kelvin has got mental probs...He was exempted off NS because of his mental case..Then i was like no wonder he's like that....
Then while walking, Rin was grumbling and complaining to me about this irritating Kelvin....Telling me how moody he gets when Kelvin goes out with him...

Ironically, despite seeing Kelvin trying so hard to woo Rin, i don't feel jealous at all...Reason being, i know that it's impossible for the 2 of them to get together....Rin's character can never accept a person like Kelvin...And Kelvin can never grow into Rin....So i can rest assure that...haha.....

Now the time is 6.30am....I can't sleep la...That's why i am blogging at such mad hours.....I have to be at Farrer park for a musical review by 10am...And means i have to leave home at 8.45am later..haiz...
Ok, i better get some coffee to wake myself up...I still have to sing at the musical later..hehe...Rmb to tag me ah...:)

Bored

2006-11-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

I feel damn bored...I realized that i just can't bring myself to laze my time away like this...RAHHH
Have been hunting for a job for one whole week but can't find any...

Anw, went for training yesterday...We had to do skipping for 10 mins...By the time, my legs are already aching..Long time didn't skip...
Then we started our warm up..Which was strenuous...Lots of physical exercises...
Continuously for an hour....
Then, we had to bring all the equipments out and train....lol....And for the next 15mins, everyone stood in 2 lines, and trained shadow boxing...
After that, i thought i will be training with a partner..But instead the instructor came to me, with 2 pads on his hands, and told me tt he'll do the training with me...And it was hell...It went on for 45mins...Which means i had the gloves on for 45 mins!...Now my hands still carries the odour...lol....Anw, i was told to train daily....But ytd was really mad, i perspired like hell.....AND, my punching improved!! hahaha....

Haiz...I really can't stand some naive kids,...They really think that the place which they're in is going to bring them somewhere in the entertainment industry...Oh Pls, half-bucket of water....Well, tt person...Can't stand it......Pls, hard work is the only way to get good results... And if he thinks he can get to the top by slip shopping, then he's totally wrong...Slip shop is having a nice front without a strong foundation....Looks good but no substance....Pls la, if you're gd u don't have to worry people not bringing u up in the industry.....
And thatplace is freaking crap lor...With some naive people there...Pls lah, u're just being made use by them.....

Well, i'm also happy that i'm now having my BORING holidays...AT least better than going to sch to see some low class bastards.....
Well, next year will be time that i start mugging hard, spend time on my studies to achieve a good academic foundation....It shadows my entire life...So i have to achieve great results...I'm happy that i saw the importance of studying at such a young age...
haiz...ok, i am tired and i wanna slp...

Can you be my Lollipop?

2006-11-15T11:12:00.000+08:00

Remember i mentioned in my last few post about this cute guy, my training mate whom i had a crush on? Well, he's straight, so forget it...

Recently i was involved in a musical by The Musical Theatre Society(MTS)
Whereby i was given a role as an attendant to the King. It's a very religious kinda story. The story took place in somewhere arouund B.C 500
Last night the whole community went for the review for this musical. There were 7 actors/actresses...After we've acted out the whole musical, the community was giving out suggestions on how to improve the show and stuffs...They were considering to put me as a narrator cum Attendant...hmm...That would be nice, but that also meant that i have much more thigns to memorise! RAHH...Well, i wouldn't mind, it's a passion Ok...
And that guy acting as the King, his name, hehe...I won't tell...He's my next target...Although i'm like half his age, but i really like him... he's really sweet, and very good alright....Plus, he have such amazing vocal powers....WAHHHH......I'm obssessed by him...Last night we sat together while having the review. He was feeding me with chocolates...wahh..So sweet!!! I felt as though he's my bf liao...haa....Well, it's all imaginary....But he's really tempting me very hard...He's Taller than me by a CM...Which means he's abt 1.85m...And he's huge..Not fat but huge...wahhh...If i were to be with him, i would have a great sense of security..No one can bully me....hehehe....He's so sweet.....And also, he's cute!!! I just simply can't resist the temptations. It's totally tensing me up...
I also realized that i'm thinking of him day and night...haha...I got his msn last night...ANd we chatted for like half an hour...I managed to ask him in a polite and casual manner if he's gay...He denied being gay...I actually asked twice, and he denied....But i don'tbelieve...My Gaydar is sensitive....Well, maybe we're not that close, so he is not that comfortable with letting know he's gay? Could it be that? Well, i don't know...Hopefully..And hopefully he likes me too.,..

Ok, let me explain the Crush situation now..I suspect he's gay, and have a crush on him...He gives me the gay vibes..Although he doesn't have teh loose wrist syndromes, and soft soft gayish behavior, but he gives me the feeling...However, he denied being gay and claimed tt he's attached..
And last night, the conversation went like this:

1st time asking him:
Me: are you married?
Him: Nope..but am attached
Me: With a guy or gal? lol
Him: Actually, his name is ......LOL
Me: OI, U gay ah?
Him: no la, i'm not gay

2nd time asking:

Me: eh, are you really straight?
Him: Do i give off the gay vibes?
Me: A little, lol...Or perhaps my gaydar is too sensitive
Him: No i'm not gay

Now, the situation is, i have an obsession with him..I like him, i could feel tt he's gay, but not very sure of tt... He probably doesn't know of how i feel towards him, and maybe he likes me too..But he thinks that i'm straight, and doesn't want to let me know of his feelings towards me for fear of me being an Anti-Gay member...
Note, in the conversation above, he didn't say that he's straight either. He just said that he's NOT GAY. So there is a possibility that he's a Bi...Furthermore, from how he phrased the denying part, it seems that he's indirectly not lying(if he's bi/gay) Bcos he didn't say he's straight, so he could be a Bi..hahaha...

Oh, i'm having music lesson afterwards, and i need to do my homework now..haa..

Don't forget to tag ah...:D

What to say? Lonely

2006-11-11T12:51:00.000+08:00

I feel so lonely....No bf....No partner no cliques now....I've always been so individual...Now, i just feel so lonely....No one to spend time with ...No one to talk to.....Almost everyone have a gf/bf....But i don't....Plus, i'm abnormal....
Haiz...I'm looking for a job....So free during the holidays. I badly wants an audio interface for my music things. But i just have insufficient funds to go buy it.
That's why i need to work!!!
MONEY!!!!!!!!
Went to play pool with my friends ytd and skipped training...hehe...Then they all started calling my hp to ask me where am i,...Did i ever say that i already give up totally on Wushu? Now i'm only in sanda....And i'm training well there...
Haiz..I'm getting fatter. I need to go run every morning from monday onwards. If not i'll soon turn obese. From the rate that i'm going, it's terrible...haiz....
I think i really need a rest. After working so hard for this one year...Even during the holidays i still can't get pardoned off sch activities...As for CCA, well, should be training the sec2 student leaders up already...I'm slowly letting them do the job..Partly cos i'm lazy sometimes...haa.....
Ever since Tay Ying became cca leader, her attitute is abit better...At least now she doesn't give trouble and give attitute...And now she knows the difficulty of standing up there to speak and control everyone.

RAHHH.....I've been busy practicing for a musical which is gonna be staged in the near future...By MTS(musical theatre society) It's quite fun, but tiring sometimes.
la la la....
Now my aim is also to get mroe TV assignments. When am i gonna get promoted? To a higher grade as a part-timer? sianz..
Nvm, i'm gg to do my stuffs now...Don't forget to tag hor...haa

Regrets

2006-11-08T01:46:00.000+08:00

I've been browsing through song-composer's achieves, their productions, works and stuffs. Well, they all have very resourceful music background, like ATCL diploma, or at least a grade 8 classical piano. I can only say that, they're truely lucky to be borned in a family whereby their parents make them learn music at a very young age. And when they grow to a certain age, it really benefits them. Some of them are able to make use of this particular skill, they go on further into song-writing and stuffs. And automatically, they excel in it very fast. Wheras, for ppl who are enthusiastic in music, and didn't have the luck to be borned in a family whereby they get to learn music at a young age. And in the end, they can't get to excel very much in the kinda music genre they wanna be in. That happens to most people. And i'm one of them.

When i was 4, my mother wanted me take up piano lessons. But my father objected. He's really a bastard all these while. When i was 10, i asked to learn the piano. Again, the same thing happened. Many people said, ''if u learn piano since youung, u may not be interested in music at an older age'' I agree to a certain extend. For some people, yes...But for those who really have passion for music in them, they'll be very strongly rooted to music. Like me, whenever i pass by anywhere which have music, i mean real proper ones which are my type, i'll always stop to listen if i can. It's a passion in me. I mean, i really wondered why my dad forbidded me to learn the piano.
Most of you know, i'm in pop music. Although i do pop, but having a strong classical background is important too.
Right now, i hold a Yamaha Grade 6 for classical Guitar. QUalified instructor..But only classical. For piano related, i only do keyboard. But most of the time i use piano voice. And i'm currently learning pop composing and stuffs with a private teacher. I can say tt i'm excelling quite well. But my problem is, on music arranging. That's where having a strong classical music background comes in. And i can't really read bass clef on the piano score.
I was talking to my music instructor ytd. She was encouraging me to take up classical piano with her. Well, i would love to. But, the problem is, firstly, i don't a have piano at home. I only have an electronic KB. And it's only like 61keys. Next, my music fees are like $350 per month! Cos i'm taking individual lessons with her. It's a bomb! If i take classical piano with her, i have to pay for another $200. And i'm not the one paying for it. It's my godmother. If i really want to take up, she have to fork out the $ to buy me a piano. haiz....
And my music teacher don't allow me to skip exams..That's the thing. Pls, i don't need those lower grades certs. I just need grade 3,5,8...That's all. It may take me only, who knows? 4yrs? 5 yrs to obtain grade 8.... It's quite slipshop, but lower grades at not essential for me!! Bcos i already know lower grades theory at the back of my hand! RAHHHHHHH!!!!!
ok...nvm..pissed...haiz

Dotz

2006-11-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking, why am i still so busy despite the approached holidays. Have been going back to school everyday, attending some enrichment programmes, having CCAs. Especially for CCA, haiz...I've been putting in alot of effort to brush up our unity. And i've been spending lots of time managing the adminstration. Well, some people, just couldn't be bothered to do them. I know, you may not be able to go to sec5 next year. So whether the CCA survives until next year or not, it doesn't really affect you. But, no matter what, it's through this CCA which has brought you to a whole new load of knowledge, skills etc. Why are you being so ungrateful? I've always thought that you are responsible enough to know how to manage things, but you proved me wrong again and again. You let someone else manipulate your principles.
Now, the teacher-in-charge is trying very hard to plan outings, activities to make us develop a sense of patriotism and unity, so that it will motivate us to train harder to achieve more results. But, some of the people just treat it as though the teacher owe them such things. Simple things like throwing away the pizza box which the teacher bought for us. They just leave it there like no one else's business.

Just now, my mother came and cut my hair. While cutting i asked her after she get her hair styling diploma where is she aiming to go. She said, previously she thought of going to US to open a hair salon. But now, it seems that she have to change her mind. I asked her why. She told me i'll knwo when the time is up. But i forced her to tell me. At last , she told me that last week, she had a very bad stomach ache tt she was sent to the hospital. And they did a screening on her. On last tueaday, the results were released. She was told by the doctor that she was dianosged with stomach cancer. But it's still in the early stages. She said she wants to go through the natural treatments, which means changing her dieting to strenghten up her immune system to fight back the cancer cells. Well, i should be feeling down, but i told myself it's nothing. She get through this shit. I thought of skipping training. But at last i still went.

During training just now, the warm up was damn easy..lol..Because there was 3 new-comers. lol...
But i dunno what's wrong with my fisting today. I just can't hit the pads right. Fuck...
After training, we actually went to a nearby coffee shop to have our meal. All guys la. Btw, the cutie was there...lol...
Out of the blue, they started talking about one training mate who's really a gay(he wasn't there with us) I thought to myself, ''they're talking about a gay, and kept on saying saying saying, and yet, they do not know that there's also one right with them(me)'' nvm...
Talk about that cutie, i seem to have a crush on him. We don't really know much about each other, but i just like him. His personality, his way of doing things and stuffs...lol...I'm not gonna name him...*bleah**...hehe...haa...Thinking of him day and night..hehe...He's so cute!! *screams**

Ok, i gotto go remove my face masque liao.hehe...
DOn't forget to tag me ah..:D

School

2006-11-01T20:43:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to be in school for enrichment programmes these 2 wks. But i actually skipped on Monday and tuesday.
I only went back to school for those lessons today. I was quite lucky. Because today the principal decided call for all those taking enrichment programme to gather. She was abit angry with us because we didn't take the programme seriously. So she was lecturing and lecturing. She actually marked the attendance personally. This shows that she cares. Although she may be abit racist, which is inevitable for a malay principal like her, but when it comes to work, she's very serious and she cares for everyone.

Anyway, i'm going to whin about this cousin of mine again.. He's in my house right now. He's no longer staying with me! He comes back just to gain sympathy and use the computer. Now, my grandma, who's having demensure(loss of memory/deterioration of body) kept on telling me that my cousin is coming back to sleep and tell me not to close and lock the door. I'm seriously pissed. And this freaking cousin of mine, let's name him beast. Now he's aware that my grandma thinks he is still staying with us. And next, i know that he's just gonna take this opportunity to gain everyone's sympathy to come back to stay. Not that i'm being selfish, but, when he comes back, that's when problems start occuring. He hasn't proved me wrong despite shifting out. When he comes back, he always quarrel with his mother. And thinks that he live alone in this flat. Pls, know your limits...And i just don't understand my grandmother, why is she like this.
Like i've said in my previous posts, he gains people's sympathy with his graet looks. And human beings are just so typically superficial. Always allow looks to manipulate them. This is something which i really hate about my cousin.,,Really..He's a useless cheap bitch.

Anyway, just pray hard that he don't get his way. And i shall make sure that he doesn't get what he wants. Since i'm having my holidays, i can spend some time thinking of how to make him stop dreaming of returning here. His desire to return to live in my house is for his own convenience. But if he shows to me that he won't bring about trouble, i may not mind. But, despite being chased out, he still chose to remain unchange and bring about problems. I really hate this kinda beasts.
Fucking scheming. Debaucherous..Idiotic...

Audition

2006-10-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

I went for an audition with my band mate(vocalist) today. At a music company called E.A.I music and publishing. It's located at some Ulu factory off Aljunied Road. Look quite Ulu, but that place is actually quite resourceful.
The auditioner is called Phylix. He's cute alright..hehe....He was telling us about the company and what they do. Basically, they organise concerts for their artistes to perform, and provide performers, mainly musically for people who holds private functions.
I played the accompaniment on the piano for my vocalist to sing. Anw, her name is Judith. It souunds weird callig her by her title. hehe....She sung two sogs. Bei ai de nu ren and Hui Jia by ShunZi...Since it was morning, our voice are still not warmed up. So she actually struggled through some parts. But overall, her vocals are well received. Well, her vocals are compatible to Mariah Carey's...Very PowerHouse...
After she sung, the auditionor said in Mandarin, ''Ok Kangrui, your turn to sing'' I was like, WHAT!? But i just picked out a song and Sung and Played on the piano. My voice hasn't fully opened. So i had a problem reaching some notes. Actually, that's not the main problem. The main problem abbout my singing is, after i sung, the auditionor told me my singing is rather Retro. He doesn't understand why such a young man like me is picking out out-dated singing techniques. haha...Well, it was quite funny. But i heard he'll be putting both of us down as even artiste. Just that we need to improve on our hosting skills.

After today's audition, i felt that, i'm not far away from being an artiste. Well, skills of course i do have, but just that i have to improve on it. Stage-presence, i'm already getting it. Showmanship, guadually improving. Piano playing skills, very good, but have to improve on my hearing. Next, the big problem is my dressing. I really have no money to buy clothes which are in fashion. Those clothes which i have at home are so out-dated. My god-ma always buys for me clothes but, those are really really out-dated. Everytime i feel like telling her, ''erm, why don't you pass me the money, and i go buy them myself?''...
Aiya, it's like, the best is that i use my own money to buy my things. So i'll not feel bad. And i'll treasure them more...
I really wonder, when the hell can i ever start earning. So sian. I still have got to go through NS.

Training

2006-10-29T13:59:00.000+08:00

I have been staying up till very late recently. I'm a night-bird alright. Sleeping at around 4-5am everyday....lol...Holidays are already here, so it's alright.

ANyway, went for training yesterday. Same thing, perspired like hell. My shirt was drenched of perspiration. And it stink. And, the cutie was there yesterday...hehe....I shall not mention his name..He's really cute! I just love his hair.
After training, they had a performance at the hall of the CC...Too bad i missed it..lol...

Anyway, after that Egg family and I went to a nearby coffee shop to have dinner...
I dont know why, but the moment i sat down, i felt a little uncertain. The feeling was not right. Everyone seemed so quiet and shag. But after we went to Hark music cafe, the mood was back...lol...
I actually went up to sing, not just sing but i did a Sing and Play on the Piano...haha....Well it was qute fun actually. After that they actually handed me a form for me to fill in to join a competition of their's... Since i'm so free, well, i'll join to try out my luck and test my skills...haha...

Results

2006-10-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

Though exams are over, but stress is still coming on. Not academically. But it's from CCA. Bad things have been happening non-stop. Lost of keys, conflicts, and many many more. It's like, after solving a current problem, another new one will appear before us. Today, we found that something important has gone missing. It's really rediculous to see how such a thing can go missing. I very very sad, very very disappointed with myself. I am really not sure if i should be feeling this way. But, it seems that God doesn't wanna keep us. Things kept on happening repeatedly, again and again, it just went on and on, and these problems seemed like molten lead filling us. I have not a single idea, why is God doing this to us. Does he really wants to see us destroyed?

Next, i got back my report book today. I did rather well, at least i know that i'm among the top 20 in the whole of the level. I came out 7th out of 23 as my class' position. This shows that i've been hard working this semester. Although i did not top the level for any subjects this time, but i am glad that my hard work has finally paid off. It motivates me upon seeing such great improvements. CCA, i got 16 points. Which is already a B3..hehe...But i was supposed to have more, because Mdm Tan forgot to key in the 3 competitions which i took part in , and out of these 3, i actually got prizes for 2 of them. So i should get at least another 8-9 points. By the time, my grading will reach an A1. Which means for L1 R4, i can assure tt for R4 one of the subject, i will score A1, and that's CCA.

Just now, i showed my results to my God-mother. She was angered by what she took in!..What the hell man, just bcos i scored 50+ for overall, which WASN'T EASY, she got so angry. Ok, let me say first, i'm not a clever kid. I don't pick up things that fast and easily. Even music, i'm quite slow. It's just that i've worked hard. And really very hard for the skills which i've achieved today. And my god ma put it in a way that my results are really that disastrous. Please, put aside improvements, talk about the average score for the level, it is LESS than 50. I'm among the better scorers alright. Top 20 in level. And get back to improvements, i've made TREMENDOUS improvements hor. From passing 2 subjs, to now, i manage to pass, and do well for 4 subjs. It's not a miracle, but it really proved that i've worked hard. Still, she got so angry. I just don't understand why. It's getting on my nerves.

It really pisses me off when people start to think that achieving excellency is as easy as said. In the education system, it's made in a way that it's out to kill you. Projects, coursework, theory, practical etc. Once you fail or do badly for one, you can forget about excelling in that particular subj. And once you do badly for one, it'll pull your overall marks down. This shows no recognition for the subjects which students really excelled in. As a result, it demoralises the child to continue working hard, and soon lead to deterioration.

Pissed...pen off now

Low class

2006-10-23T22:04:00.000+08:00

Finally i went to school today. I must really say that i should not have gone. We had games as post exams activity before recess. It was very very boring. We were merely sitting down and watching those 3N students playing. Well, we wasn't in the playing mood then. After recess we had normal lessons. I was so tired that i slept throughout the POA lesson. So boring anyway.

After school, i actually went to the caneen to have lunch with my friends. I walked pass this boy from 3N2. The moment he saw me, he started to get sarcastic... He called out to me ''Gay''

Fuck ...I've been tolerating him. Just one more day, when i go back on thursday, he better not start any of his childish nonsense. If not, i'm going to shame him in front of his friends and teachers. My hands so getting out of control. I have been showing tolerance towards such bastards. He wants to see the angry and bad side of me ? No problem....I make sure he becomes my demo-puppet for my wrath.
Those boys from his class, are really a bunch of hopeless, impudent, immatured brats. It's really a sore being their class' prefect-in-charge. Blame it on my luck to always get posted to take charge of these low status brats. They are low class lice, irritants WHICH bring harm and disturbance to society....See, i used the word ''which'' instead of ''whom'' which is used to indicate non-human objcts or animals. They're not worthy of their lives. They should die. These irritants. Childish, immatured, incorrigible, impudent....
They should be borned in the 3rd world country. Suffer or even die.
Not able to tolerate all these shit anymore..One more nonsence from him, i don't give a fucking damn. I'll punch him right in the face and break his cheek.

Hatred

2006-10-22T14:23:00.000+08:00

Hatred, is a very common word being used in this society. I was talking to one of my cca mates just now. And we somehow argued. He said i'm stupid. Whatever whatever shit. Well, it started off with me asking him why he seems as though he couldn't be bothered. He said ''You also can't be bothered what. blah blah blah ...No wonder so many ppl hate u''
Oi, pls hor, Please mind your words ok. I know of course there are people hating me for some apparant reasons. But i can't make everyone like me. ANd why must i gain peoples's popularity? By going against one's principles and righteousness for the sake of popularity in Jobs is being dishonest to oneself. I live for myself. I just want to make sure that things which i've concern over goes well. I'm not here, nor up anywhere to gain people's popularity ok. My main aim is to get things done well and be truthful to myself that's all. I don't give a damn who hates me or who don't. Talking about cca, i know i haven't done my part well; i did it with half the finesse but twice the conviction.

One more thing. I hate anti-gays. Ya, i'm gay so what?! At least i'm proud of myself and i dare to show people of my true self. Not like some of you. You live in your own lie. How ironical. I have nothing to hide and i can be more peaceful. Deep inside i am much more happier than you people. I don't carry that kind of mask and fear. Iam true to myself and i live for myself.

Computer in my room liao..hehe

2006-10-21T19:05:00.000+08:00

FInally..After waiting for months and months, my computer is finally shifted from the hall to my rm....So, my irritating cousin won't have the chance to use my computer that often....haa...FIrst of all, when i have tuition or giving lessons, he will have to get out. Secondly, i will return the game to my friend. Well, i don't play it anyway. Then, i'll see him coming over to my house less often. That's when he shows his true colors. For heaven's sake, i'll never allow such a bastard to live with me. Disasters occurs frequently because of his undesirable presence.
He fills everyone with molten lead. Just to achieve his selfish wants. Especially when it comes to monetary issues. I will never sympathize him. What he is today, was what he deserved. He lacked of the discipline to prevent going into the temptations of drugs and crimes. Furthermore, he's very scheming.Full of evil schems for the sake of his selfish desires. If he learnt from his lessons, i will treat him like a human being. But it's a pity he didn't. I've given him upteen chances and he refused to chance. So i shall not have sympathy towards him anymore. He shall suffer at his own doings.

Oh yah...Guys, regarding my POA(principal of accounts).......It's a skill-based subject. And the textbook which the school has chosen; it's impossible to self-learn from it. It doesn't explain very clearly of how to debit and credit, and how to open certain accounts. We have to depend on the teacher. But, our dear POA teacher, by the name of Mrs Ng-Tee, suck at teaching POA. When she's up there, and teaching, you won't even understand what on earth is she teaching. I doubt she does preparation teaching at home. From the way she structured her presentations and teachings, is very disorganized. Pls, even before i teach, i make sure that i have prepared and made up my mind what to teach my student and let him/her do. When she stands up there and teach, she seemed to be talking to herself. Or rather, just rambling out sub-consciously. I don't thin she herself even knows what on earth she's talking about. IRONY!!
I'm gonna save money. Save money to buy an audio interface. It's a music device, which acts as a high quality sound card for my computer, and a medium to connect my synthesizer and other external instruments to my computer for a recording....hehehe...Next, i will want to get a Studio Microphone. So that when i sing my recordings it'll be of higher soudun quality. Then, i wanna buy a mixer. A manual one. So that i can connect more instruments...haha...
Anyway, i must really put in alot of effort to study next year. Really...It's only once in a lifetime. I can't afford to do badly....
Ok, i gotta go have my dinner...Stomach growling...hehe...Rmb to tag hor...:D

NS?

2006-10-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

I didn't go to school this morning. Then during the last period of the day, my CCA teacher relieved my class. When she found me missing, she phoned me up..hehe...Then she asked me where i was..I said i'm at home sleeping..haha....It was already 12pm and i was still in bed..haha...But i still went for training in the afternn..Had rehearsal for performance lah..lol...

Then after training i left the school with one of my teacher who taught me history in sec1..And the moment she saw me, she filled me in with complains.
She was whinning about her daughter's CCA's Holiday commitment..She was telling me how unreasonable and ridiculous the timing was.. She said her daughter is required to be in school during the whole of november holidays 4 times a week from morning 8am-5pm...(abit too much though) Then she was telling me how is she going to complain to the principal, and how is she going to make her daughter to skip the CCA..How ironic....She's a teacher herself and making her daughter doing this...funny...
Well, she's quite a good teacher, but she has got full of stories to tell. That made her very interesting...

Nth much to say..

Rehearsals

2006-10-20T19:57:00.000+08:00

Had training ytd. We had to rehearse for a performance at a Special school on the 3rd November. We were having a hard time rehearsing. Luckily the instructor was there to lead. I had to perform Si Men Da Dao again. That's a very very breath taking routine lor. It about a 2mins routine. Very tiring alright, that weapon massed at 5kg. And it's 2m long, and i have to swing it ccontinuosly for 2mins. Esp for those jumping movements, dangerous plus tiring.
After training i headed to my music teacher's house for lessons. Was damn bloody shag. Eyelids weighed a ton.Dozed off several times on the bus...I got scolding from my teacher because i didn't do my music work..haiz..So tired lor...I couldn't even sing properly during lesson ytd. Got scolded in the end....bleah*....Couldn't reach the high notes with my voice and had to use head voice and falsetto. Just couldn't push the note out. Too tired bah...

Went for training again just now. Again we rehearsed for the performance. So tiring. There's a cute guy in training just now. hehe...He's from China and his name is Zi Fu...haha....So cute la him.. And he's able to do Che Kong Fan(cart wheel without the assistance of the hands)
Anyway, i wrote another song...hehe...When i showed my teacher ytd, she was quite satisfied..Although i always get scoldings..hehe...But she actually love me as her student....
Ok, going off...Wanna practice my songs and watch some TV...Rmb to tag hor...:)

Mixed feelings

2006-10-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

I just don't seem to understand some people.
Especially those middle-aged Tai tais and housewives who have got nothing better to do that's why they end up gosssipping about other people's personal lives as a past time. I really hate these people. Right now, there's one in my house. She's a relative of mine. Their character and personality follows a gradient. All the same. When they meet people, they judge that person by the natural features. Handsome? Pretty? WHy? Why so superficial? I am not good looking. I have alot of hurtful memories of being critisized about my looks. The moment they saw me, they give the kinda disgusted look. And next, say to my grandmother in dialect ''eh, your grandson the face not nice leh''
What the fuck man...Why so superficial?
What the fuck man...
When i was at a Talent agency, most people there also go for the surface. When my good looking friends approach people they don't know, the stranger will continue the conversation and exchange numbers. But for me, no matter how warm, how approachable i make myself to be, nobody will initiate to break the ice with me.
And when i take the first step to do so, most of them will just smile it off and wouldn't desire to befriend further. The entertainment world, also, very superficial.

Also, i can't be bothered to fill some people with sense and wake them up. Pls, just because you get abit of incentives and you work so hard for that place. Don't be a farking Bangra Who Earns Revenue For People Who Don't Give You Deserved Share Of Benefits...They say, it's just for the training....But pls, you call that training? Planning events for free for a place, not just one day alright. Well, the event is just a few hours. But the preparation work takes up weeks or even months.
I was supposed to be involved in a musical by them. Well, i'm a Grade 8 holder in practical hor, and i've relavant experience in backstage and directing also. Then when i joined, i was put as a normal music member. And those who got put in seniority are half-bucket of water. Can't really sing, not very skillful, weak planning skills, and get to be in seniority because of their looks.
Then when i sung, they like my voice and my style. Quite afew negative commends for the others, but for me, it was all along good commends. Eh pls, i leave that place, it's their loss ok....And i'm not going back. That's it. Next time when i rise, they'll just regret why didn't they treasured me more.

Pissed..Pen off here...

Why are some people so thick skinned?

2006-10-19T01:13:00.000+08:00

It really kept me thinking for days. Why is my cousin so thick skinned?
I don't mind him coming back to my house to visit his mother. But that's not his main purpose.
After he left my house and went to live with his father in another flat, he did not like the stay there and have been trying to come back here to stay. But i'll never allow that.
His father just operated his leg and cut off his left leg bcos of diabetes. I must say serve him right. He did not treasure his wife, and his son. Abused them and became a hatred among many people. That's his retribution.
I don't enjoy the presence of this cousin of mine. His actions made me feel nausea upon seeing him. Not his physical actions, but the things which he did. His irresponsibility, his self-fish thinking, and many more...It just pisses me off when i talk to him.
He doesn't like to live with his father. Reason being he have to take care of his father. Not financially but his well-being. This cousin of mine is just so heartless alright. He can act and pretend to be filial for a very short period of time. But after awhile, that's when he show his true colors.
He badly wants to come back to my house to stay. So he pretends to come back often. And stays overnight. Just to gain people's sympathy. Too bad, i've seen through him. I will not and i will never ever give in to him.
It doesn't bore him to act to come to my house to so called ''visit'' my granny. He plays my computer and doesn't get off easily. I have to use the effort of shifting a ton to get him off. He's just so self-fish and inconsiderate.
I guarantee you, the moment i shift my computer into my room, he won't want to touch my computer. Because firstly, i will uninstall the game, i dont play it anyway. Secondly, i will connect it to my Synthesizer. And when i wanna practice my music on the synthesizer, he can't use the computer. SO most of the time he won't get to use it.
So after awhile, it will just bore him out to come over. Then people wil start asking, ''eh, why he comes so seldom nowadays''And start sympathizing him.

I can't be bothered to talk sense into these superficial people anymore. They get tricked by my idiotic cousin's looks. I don't deny his great looks. And that gains the sympathy of people easily. Esp when he acts as though he's at his wit's end. I hate him. I simply hate him. How i wish that i don't have to see his face again. He's an incorrigibly scheming, self fish, inconsiderate, hypocrite. I can't stand this kind of Beast.
He's worse off than a beast. I doubt even SPCA(sg pest control association) can do anything to control him. He's incorrigible. Simply incorrigible and terrible to the extend that is indescribable within the huge capacity of human languages.

Another reason why i hate this cousin of mine to live with me. When he was still living here, he always quarrel with his mother(currently still living here)
And not over trival matters. But over money matters. Can you imagine, he claims that he's stable in his career as a housing estate agent and yet he still expects his mother to pay for his living expenses. And when his mother grumbles, he shouts at her. I don't care even if he screams his head off at his mum. But this is MY HOUSE. He behaves as though the hse belongs to him and shouts as and when he likes. That's why, thick skinned. I can't believe it. This hopeless brat.

I really got to think of a way to get rid of him. To make sure he doesn't come back to my house ever again.
When you piss me off, this is how i feel about you. It's not easy to make me feel disgusted of you. And it's not easy to make me get you out of my bad books.

Be your man

2006-10-17T16:44:00.000+08:00

I didn't go to school today. I believe most of you who read my previous post concluded that i was rather emotional. Well i was. Because i had a quarrel with my father. He was drunk and he shouted at me for no apparent reason. And of course i shouted back. I simply hate that. I won't quarrel with him when he's sober but when he gets drunk, that's when conflict occurs.

I think i've lost some weight bah. Haven't been eating alot these days. Want to slim down.
No school tmr also...hehe...I won't go to school on Thursday also.....No lessons, most of the teachers are on MC..It'll be damn boring...I just hope that i can be promoted. I've passed english, FNN, Mother tongue, Combined sciences. 4 subjs . '
Should be able to get promoted. Although i got 7/100 for POA..haiz...It really pulled my overall down like hell.

I read an article in the News forum yesterday.
It was written in by a sec sch student. I must say that i really agree with him.
He was saying that in most secondary school, overall % of the student's examination score is the average % of the student's total score on every subject being divided by the number of subject. That student says that IF THE STUDENT DID WELL IN A PARTICULAR SUBJECT, AND DID BADLY IN ANOTHER SUBJECT, THE SUBJECT WHICH HE/SHE DID BADLY PULLS HIS/HER MARKS DOWN. THEREFORE, NO RECOGNITION IS GIVEN TO HIS EXCELLENCE FOR DOING WELL IN ANOTHER PARTICULAR SUBJECT. THIS IS NOT AN EFFECTIVE WAY BECAUSE WHEN STUDENTS GRADUATES AND GOES OUT TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD TO WORK, WHAT MOST JOBS TALK ABOUT IS A CONCENTRATED PROFESSIONALISM IN THAT PARTICULAR JOB.
This reflects on the current educational system in which most secondary school is practising. If they continue doing this, they're just pressing the student to Split up his/her energy equally on every subject. This will disable students from excelling in his/her interests and strengths.
It is good to have the desire to become an all-rounder. But the requirements and criteria of being an excellent scorer in Singapore's education system is very difficult.
So the MOE should urge all secondary school to stop this system...

I've activated my room's telephone box...hehe. The contractor is coming over to fix the powerpoints in my rm on friday. And on friday, i can shift my computer inside my room..So my stupid cousin will not have the chance to touch my computer..hehe...
So from saturday onwards, i'll hide in my room all day on my computer..hehehe...

ok, i'll pen off now...erm..DOn't forget to tag ah..hehe

Sometimes it's better off without a father

2006-10-16T20:36:00.000+08:00

Firstly, results are damn disastrous...I passed my english. I got a B4, Chi, probably the same. Combined science i got B3. POA, can you imagine, i actually got 7/100.... It's not a catastrophe or surprise. I expected that. When you come to this level, and you don't understand a single shit about that particular subject, you're done for. Every subject has its individual technique to do well and understand.
For FNN, i managed to pass for the End of Yr exams but i must have failed overall..
Unless my coursework pull my marks up, if not it's a fail. For literature, although this is my first time getting a pass, i feel very happy to see the tremendous and incredible improvement in this subject. I'm starting to understand this subject. For SS, i'm utterly disappointed. I did study for it. But in the end, i still failed the SS exam. *sigh
Although my results aren't fantastic, but i still managed to get the promotion to sec4. After seeing what i've done in this one year, and reflecting it upon my academic results, i found that i really have to put in effort to study for O levels already. It's just less than a Year away. And for this one year, it'll just fly pass without notice.
I don't wanna have any regrets for not studying well. I find it damn hilarious and ridiculous. What!, Regret not excelling in academics!? What a joke!...This is the response that will come cross my mind if i don't do well(touch wood) and regret after that.
However, if we do not have a proper principle in life, a proper discipline and Self-awareness, no matter how well we do in our acedemics we'll still be a failure in life. Because if we wanna be successful , study for ur life and not for examinations.

Just take my father for example. He was a consistant top scorer since primary school to Poly...He got a good job with a good pay and reputation. But that was due to his good self-discipline and good academic results. After a while, he commited crimes due to temptations. He had the money, but it was used up on these crimes. He went into deep addiction, and he made himself hopeless. Now, from a top examination scorer to a Person with a stable and gd job, then to somebody(now) a shameless free-loader who laze his time away everyday, drowning himself in the depth of alcohol and boredom. He's already nearing 50 and still doing this. He gets drunk everyday and stretch out his stinky hand towards my grandmother for money. Why can't he just have some dignity? Earn his own money and use it..Why don't he go find a job? It's not that he can't find a job. But the reason is that his defination of a Job, is too high for his capabilities. Of course he cant get a job. After getting out of jail, he got a job as a cleaning supervisor. I won't despise him even if he becomes a cleaning supervisor again, neither will i complain, because i take care of myself. But why must he expect such high pay and easy jobs if he himself shattered his own life? Why must he make others be responsible of his own well-being when he's capable of working? Why must he be a freaking free-loader and always get his friends to pay for his drinks(alcohol)?

A few weeks ago, my music teacher was telling me how i could get inspirations to write a song. She was telling me to write a song for my Aunt(godma) who has been taking care of me all these years. I told her, i may not be able to do that. I'm not a person who's very opened and direct with my feelings. I usually don't show my love but the one whom i love can feel the love i have. Be it family love or r/s.

Then, my music teacher said i can write a song for my FATHER..PLS! NEVER! She knows that i hate him. She said ''Maybe u may think, PUI!, but just show it to him and he'll be touched'' Pls, why must i make him touched? i Don't even love him now. Ya, you may say i'm a jerk for being unappreciative that he brought me to this world. But, he didn't even bother to take care of me from the start of my birth. Well, perhaps he had his reasons at that time. But that's bad enough. When i was 2 yr old , you know what the hell he did? He spiked my mother's drink and while she's asleep he stole her ATM card and withdrew all the money.
He had the intention of doing so ever since my mother got her ATM card. He opened the letter sending the card and took down the password. Although my mum found out, but she can't change it because at that time technology wasn't high enough for changing of passwords.
After stealing my mum's ATM card, my father went to the bank and withdrew all the money which was meant for my baby products at that time. He used that money to indulge in drugs.
What kind of father is this. He met with an accident last year.. He should have died man. Then there'll be much less problems now...

Can't he just die now? More peace. Next will be my stupid cousin. He should die also.
My grandmother is dying soon. Although i can't bear to, but she have to leave soon.
After she goes, my father go, then the hse wil be left with me and my another distant aunt. By the time, she would have shifted back to her own flat. Then i will be alone in this house. Leading a good life. Good what. Live alone. No disturbance. Freedom. I can do what i want at home. Rather than living in such a noisy house. With so many problems. CRAP!!

Fun, yet unhappy

2006-10-15T10:50:00.000+08:00

Went for training last night. It was slightly more tougher than usualy. I perpired like hell.
After the 1 hour physical and warm up, i went to the toilet and starting gulping water down my throat. The thirst was killing me.
After which, i trained with this cute guy. Hehe...His name is Samuel. He's 19...He's really cute alright. He was holding the pad for me to punch. I was so shag that i had to push myself. Oh man....But i really pushed myself quite hard ytd. Almost every punch i threw was a thunder. Then the 2 instructors started coming over and watch. And told me how to improve this and that. Well, it's quite fun. At least i find more fun here than in wushu.
After training we actually went to have dinner at a nearby coffee shop with Ivy, Her fren, Joseph, Samuel(cutie), Serene. We were imitating how China nationals speak their language. The way i imitated was so real that ppl started asking me if i'm from China. Then i was sitting beside Joseph. Suddenly we started the Gay behavior and started hugging cuddling each other....Serene and Ivy started taking photos, and people sitting nearby was like kept on watching us. hahaha...
Then we went down town. Went to TAKA and found a place to sit down and started our cocking and started to get high and crazy. haha..Joseph and i was gaying each other and Serene was so busy taking photos of us..hehe...Cute.....
I just fancy cute boys too much...They're simply too cute to be true...hehe...
Then i took a cab home. On the cab, the driver and I was talking and talking. Then he missed that turn at the highway..grrr....When the cab was approaching Toa Payoh, the fare was like $10. It was already 1am... Then the cab driver apologised and said he would charge me only $6....
When the cab reached my house, i took out a $5 note and a $2 note. He said ''Ok, $6, aiya, nvm la, $5 enuff(gives back the $2)
I thanked him and told him to take good care..hehe....
After reaching home i received a msg from Joseph...He asked me if i'm really interested in him..Oh pls...I was only joking!!
haha....
These people are so cute and funny....I just love them...CUTIE PIES!!!

2006-10-14T10:06:00.000+08:00

Have a video to share

Today

2006-10-13T21:03:00.000+08:00

I went to school today.
Got back some of my papers. I got back my maths, which i failed..My Bio i got and A2. Physics was a C5..Also saw my lit paper, i actually passed my LIT!! It's a miracle. Really a miracle. My Lit teacher praised me.
We were supposed to have a free period after recess. instead, Mr Sim came in. He was lecturing and lecturing us. The whole level did rather badly for End of Year exams.
He's well known for scolding people and making people dislike him.
But today, he said something to us in class. Which really changed my impression on him. And i mean a 180 degree change. After scolding and scolding, he said to us 'I know some of u here dont like me, and don't like the things which i say. But i just want to say, I'm not here to gain popularity, i'm just here to make sure that you people do well in your later life''
I mean, anybody can say that. It's how much you feel from those words which came out from his mouth. Some people just crap up these things. But for him, i could feel that it came deep down from his heart. From what he said, it really had quite a great impact on me.

After school we were supposed to have Wushu training. I waited and waited at the CCA room and only 3 members were present. I gave out the consent form, wrote on the board, reminded them, and yet this happened. The teacher-in-charge was quite upset abt it. I as a student leader was also feeling very bad. I just don't see why some of them have such attitute towards training.

Anyway, i went for music lesson just now. I still can't pass those 2 songs BU AI by David Tao and Qian li zhi wai. Mainly because of my pitching and Song arrangement. Shit. My teacher told me my playing was so dramatic that she thought i became Richard Cladomond. hahhahaha....

Ok, i gotta end here...Continue taggin guys....hehe

Chalet

2006-10-11T21:16:00.000+08:00

Just back from my CCA chalet. Yesterday before we set off, i actually briefed all of the members on our route and the Dos and Don'ts.
Afterwhich we set off and reached the place at around 4pm. That place look rather spooky from the outside but it's actually not that bad. All i can say is everyone enjoyed their stay.
I didn't sleep the whole night. I was up with Ivy at the BBQ pit talking talking talking. Then we waited for our dear very very shuai-ge Yongyi..hehe....
He arrived at 2am...And he told us that he got a road block which caused him to be late. He was abit drunk. I was able to see that..But he didn't get caught during the road block. He actually escaped!..lol...The traffic police gestured him to stop along the side of the road. But instead, he drove off quietly...haha...He's damn funny...
The 3 of us were talking and talking..Then i took out the guitar and Yongyi started to get high and he sung and sung...lol....I really loved the night man...We stayed up till 6am...Talking and gossiping and singing..lol....Very very fun.....

After the chalet, we took 59 from Changi interchange back to toapayoh..Most of them went to toa payoh bcos they live there. But i came to Bishan with Fang chao , Geffren, Bernard to claim Fang Chao's lost MP4.
Ok, first, the trip on the bus was like an hour. I was holding my bladder for 30mins....Upon reaching Bishan, i went into the toilet, and shot everything out....lol....
Then i went to the optical shop to collect my new tinted specs...haha.....Not bad la..At least i'm still in Fashion although i appear i dont..Because i'm still schooling.

Net, i'm really very very unhappy with my home..I come from a broken home. Nvm, cos i am already used to it. My grandma is having demensure and is dying. My father, doesn't want to work, and drink beer everyday till he got drunk like hell and come home. He should have died of the accident last year. I don't like to live in a noisy house like this. My aunt is livin with me...She love to watch TV..Which makes the house so noisy. I want home to be quiet..That's my belief. I hate a crowded home. I want home to be a place where i can seek enlightenment, peace and quietness.
I want to live alone. Or, a person who really love me and i really love . THat's what i want...

Mariage D'amour

2006-10-08T10:18:00.000+08:00

Exams are killing me. For english, i'm quite alright. For physics and Social studies, i'm also alright. For mother tongue, not much of a problem.
But on thursday, i had Maths paper 2 and literature. I felt as though i will get retained. THese two subjects are really my bloody obstructions. I felt very down because it really caused a catastrophe.
On friday was FNN. I may be able to get a border line pass. Hey, it's not easy alright. FNN has got alot of memorizing to do. For practical, you are required to do alot of planning and time keeping. It's really quite stressful.
I received an acting job on Thursday night. For channel 5. I was the sub-lead-actor for that particular episode. I was given the role as Friend(A). Scene was a school. It was filmed in St patrict's Institution. Just yesterday..hehe...The lead actor is Jeremy(in the show) The story goes like this.......

Scene 1: classrm

~Jeremy and 4 other classmates were in the class studying. Suddenly, Jeremy's Tourett's syndrome acted up.
~Upon seeing the acting up of Jeremy's illness, the four classmates who were present started hurling abuse at him.
Friend A , imitated Jeremy's sickness like a monkey.
Jeremy was very upset. Tears was on the verge of flowing out.
End of scene

Scene 2: Quiet spot of the school where Jeremy sits on a bench

Jeremy was sitting on a bench.
The four classmates who made fun of Jeremy earlier on approached him.

Upon getting close to Jeremy, the 4 friends started pushing Jeremy and further abused him physically and mentally

Not being able to tolerate this nasty treatment, Jeremy shouted back ''I warn you you better stop that''
Friend A got fed-up and shouted back ''So what if i don't, you want to fight is it?!(pushed Jeremy on the head)''
(Jeremy stood up, yelled and pushed FriendA)
The 3 other friends started to push Jeremy and hit him.
Friend A was angered. Went up to Jeremy and pushed him hard that he fell onto the ground.
THen the 4 ''friends'' left
Jeremy was lying on the ground, and was feeling very very sad that he started crying
End of scene 2

Scene 3 : Empty space of a school ( 4 friends playing soccer)

The 4 who bullied Jeremy earlier on were playing soccer. Having great fun.
Jeremy was standing a a corner, where he could only watch. He knew that The four fellows won't agree to let him join them, so he could only stand there and watch.
Jeremy started to have the syndrome again.
The four friends simply ignored Jeremy and went on playing.
End of show

End Of show

I had great fun yesterday. The person acting as the lead actor was the one who acted in the comedy ''Police and theif'' As Mark Lee's Son. That handsome boy....hehe...He's cute. But he's very gay. I was told to imitate Jeremy's sickness like a monkey. And it was damn damn damn funny....

Went for training last night. Was quite fun lah.

Inferior

2006-10-04T19:37:00.000+08:00

Had chinese paper 1 and 2 today. Both papers were not very very difficult. But paper two was a little tricky. When i left the house this morning, on the way to the bus stop, i realized that i forgot to drink my coffee...shit. And i didn't had a very good rest the night before. I was so afraid that i would fall asleep suddenly in the midst of exam. But well, it did not happen though...I wasn't that weak. Was still feeling abit sick, but not so bad.

I really can't stand those incorrigible kids from my school. They are really very very immatured and childish. I don't wanna bother abt them, but i have to. Because i'm a prefect, and maintaining order is my job. I don't see it as a passion to do that, but i see it as a give and take. Since the school gave us(prefects) the opportunity to attend expensive seminars and groom us more in our character than others, we ought to give the school back something. That is something which ALL prefects hates to do. Our duties. When you have to deal with childish and notorious kids. And when you try to talk some sense into them, they'll make a joke out of it. I don't find it funny but i find it stupid. Simply immatured....Especially those from sec3 normal.

Anyway, it has been a bad day.
After that i went to Bishan to meet Naomi laoshi and Alan for lunch at Sakae. Wanted to enjoy, but today really isn't my day. I was early like 1.10pm, and we initially planned to start at 1.30pm.
Naomi was late, Alan was very late. I was waiting for Alan outside the control room for like 30mins...grrrrr...
Hate waiting for people. Then we went into the restaurant. Saw Naomi le.. We sat down and started talking. I didn't really talk that much. I was feeling damn moody. After which we were taking photos. I didn't want to. But i was forced to. I'm ugly. I've no style, no image. I'm not photogenic. I dunno why. I trried to cover up my emotions. I was on the verge of crying. Was too stressed out, and was too inferior abt my own looks. After looking at my own photos, i felt even more inferior. Was so sad. Then, i kept on smiling. To cover up la....I didn't wanto spoil the ''supposed to be happy'' lunch. So i just played along. But i'm sure they were able to feel the same way as i did. Was super moody today. BAD DAY!
After that, Alan brought Naomi to somewhere. They expected me to tag along. But i was feeling so tired, so down so moodless, that i told them to leave me out. I didn't even take bus, I went to take a cab. But it was only $3 la... Still alright. hehe....
Came home, bathed, went into my rm, and started crying. Haiz...Dunno what to say about this also.
After crying i went to sleep. Woke up only now.
Ok,,,going to play my keyboard....bb

Wrong time

2006-10-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

Have been busy preparing for the end of year exam. Had english paper today. Not very very difficult, but no A1 guarantee.....Studied in school till about 3.30pm today. Was so so so tired. Plus, the haze today is so horrible. Everywhere was so blurry.... Making me sick. Am down with flu man...This is definitely the wrong time to fall sick. I have physics and social studies paper tmr. And i really feel damn sick now.

Last night my tutor came. lol....She bought me 3 packets of chocolates and i ate them all last night...haha...
As i was studying my SS in school today, i wanted to clear some doubts in mind. But i couldn't find my SS teacher. shit....i thought to myself. haiz....No choice but to use my freaking brain to solve the question.

Nothing much to say...Feel damn sick...Wanna go study my SS then gg to sleep...
Btw, saw a cutie again today..hehe